When you feel stuck in life

For a couple of weeks err months I had been feeling stuck; stationary; inhibited.

The thing about feeling confined is that, with nowhere to move in front and behind, it makes it difficult to think about moving upwards. I mean, who wants to defy gravity when they can’t even move horizontally. If anything, the direction that you tend to move in is down. I had entered a very dark, little hole.  Continue reading


When Life Happened

life happens

“Why is it so cold?

Where is my baby?

Is she okay?

I’m freezing in here.”

September 30th 2014 at 5:15pm I woke up from what seemed like the longest nap asking these questions. So relieved to be alive; cognizant of the fact that not everyone makes it back to this side alive.

Overwhelmed by emotion, I lay there looking disheveled, as though life had happened. Hold up! Life had just happened. The resident of my womb had just been evicted and my body was shaken. It had been a lovely host environment for the last nine months.It adapted and stretched to accommodate the little one, and just like that she was out. I felt happy but oh so empty, my extra heartbeat was now living out of me; what a strange feeling that was.

I was still high on the anesthesia and exhausted from laboring for twelve hours only to be told ‘I am so sorry. You are still 6cms dilated. It is cervical dystocia’ . Honestly, I have never been so terrified in my whole life. I was all set for a normal delivery, I even had my sitz bath all set up in my bathroom before I left for the hospital. I was in too much pain, with the contractions back to back to try and understand what the doctor meant by ‘dystocia’.

I was all walked out. I mean I had bounced on the yoga ball for so long. I closed my eyes and I could still feel the buoyancy, reminded me of being in the deep sea; floating – no strength to swim or fight the waves. Tired of waiting for someone to rescue me. I was all cried out, beat, frail and so afraid.

When I saw my little girl, sheer unprecedented joy flooded my heart. I was a mother, me, yet I wasn’t so sure I had figured out this thing called adulthood. Now someone would look up to me and call me mummy? Where was my mummy? I needed MY mummy, and a little girl needed her mummy, she needed me.

My birth partner, who had arrived right before the ‘cervical dystocia’ announcement, did what I consider one of the best things ever; she brought the baby and taught me how to latch her to my breast. I really do thank God that we figured out how to do it on our first try. The sensation was weird to say the least. My breast was not used to being sucked like someone’s life depended on it. Yet, here we were, it needed to toughen up and adapt to the new role.

Here I am, ten months on. I am so grateful that life happened. It has not been in a walk in the park, we’ve had our fair share of challenges including postpartum depression but it has been the best adventure yet. My daughter turned my life upside down and inside out. She has made me question many things that I considered truth. I have had to re-evaluate my values and myself, figure out what I truly believe in, the legacy that I want to pass on to her.

I have probably never been so sleep deprived but neither has my heart been so full of love. She has taught me little life lessons. What do you know, ten months down the line and another baby doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Divine amnesia.

Beautiful, life changing, magical memories are made when life happens. Yes sometimes, life knocks the wind out our lungs, but we bounce back. Truly we are much stronger than we think. Life throws curve balls our way and we swing our bats like never before and make that home run.

My life changed when life happened. Boy, am I glad it did. Here is to more adventures, more laughs, more tears and more unprecedented joy.

Life happened. I survived. I continue to thrive.



10 Tips To Be A Better Helpmate

Getting married is the easy part, staying happily married without compromising parts of your self is where the work is at.

Women are designed to be helpmates for their spouses. The pressures of life and expectations of society can take the joy out of this role.

Below are a few tips to be a better helpmate and enjoy your role:

1) Know who you are


It is crucial for every woman to know who she is as an individual; outside her career and marriage because these things can fade away.

Figure out the source of your worth, self esteem and always keep it in mind. Do not be defined by what you do or don’t do; or what people think or don’t think about you.

2) Know your role in your home


There are various roles that the society expects a wife to play. These set roles vary from community to community. Subscribing to them can satisfy or distress you.

Knowing and understanding the role that God needs you to play in your home is the most important thing. This will determine your attitude; and attitude is everything

3) Love more


The world is a cold, dark place. It is cruel to say the least. The warmth of  love can make a big difference in a home.

1st Corinthians 13 breaks down love into practical points. Be more patient, kind, humble, polite, forgiving, hopeful and resilient.

It sounds easier said than done, aye? But God’s grace is sufficient.

4) Complain less


Negative energy drains. Constant nagging and complaining have negative effects on the atmosphere in the home.

If you have a concern, raise it at the right time; acknowledge the role that you have played in the situation and be open for a solution. If you feel you are still not being heard by your spouse, refer to tip 8 and 9.

5) Know when to reserve your comment


The truth is, not every thought that you think needs to be said aloud. Words once spoken cannot be taken back. Those spoken in anger have a way of replaying themselves in the mind of the recipient long after they’ve been uttered. Sometimes silence is more effective.

6) Offer Help


Some people find it difficult to ask for help, mainly because it may be viewed as a sign of weakness. Sometimes they feel like they are bothering the other person.

Offer to help your spouse, they may refuse the first time depending on their personality or the circumstances surrounding them. After a while, they will feel comfortable to ask for help because they know that you are available to help.

7) Be Teachable


When your spouse asks you to help them do not minimize or trivialize their need. Serve wholly. Do it cheerfully without a look of pain on your face. It may not seem like much to you, but it is to the other person. Be willing to learn on the job, granted you don’t know everything, but don’t let your inability become a disability. Ask questions, learn, love and laugh.

8) Listen to your Helper


In John chapter 14 Jesus said that He was leaving us a helper, the Holy Spirit. Sadly, He is one of the most underutilized and recognized aspects of God.

Ask the Holyspirit for guidance and insight then listen. It is one thing to ask and another to listen. The truth is sometimes your spouse may not know how exactly they want to be helped, the Holy Spirit can give you divine ideas at such times.

9) Pray


Pray for your spouse and your marriage.  Prayer changes things. Talking to God is never a waste of time or saliva.

Battles are fought and won on your knees. Speak life into situations and call on the heavens for breakthrough. Then watch the Lord display His power in situations, all for the glory of His name.

10) Enjoy the journey


Purpose to love and laugh each day, make memories and dwell on the positive. Don’t repeat mistakes but learn from them. Embrace the seasons of life and grow together. By God’s grace, forgive your spouse and invite God to renew the joy and love in your home.

Serve your husband with joy. When you feel stretched emotionally and physically fall back on your source. Talk to God and hear His heart’s desire for your marriage and home.





Once in a while, we all get discouraged. Though, it is important to know how to cheer yourself on, there are times that one needs a cheerleader to cheer them on and let them know that they are doing great. Even though they are currently losing the fight; remind them that the battle is not lost.


A couple of months ago, I had this grand idea to write a book and I did. Writing it was one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done. It made me realize I want to write for life. By the time I was done with book one, I had book two and three racing through my mind. I was a living, breathing, mobile inspiration.

Three months down the line, I am still walking with the ideas in my head, not as excited though. Reason being: I wanted book one to be published before I start on the next ones.

Yesterday I was a bit discouraged as I discussed this with my hubby. He told me that the most important thing is, to do what God has asked me to do. So what if finding a publisher locally is difficult? So what if the technology needed to print the type of book I want is locally unavailable? I shouldn’t get derailed by the details but do what God has asked me to do.

He went on to tell me a little story about a man named Omi who is behind this song.

Here is his story borrowed from Mitchell Wigg’s  Facebook page.







This story!!!!

I was left dumbfounded. So many lessons can be drawn from it, it is like a little sermon.

1)The truth is, sometimes God asks us to do things that are ahead of our time. And, just because some people around us do not see the value in what we are doing does not negate it’s greatness.

2)Everybody needs a cheerleader! This lady deserves a round of applause. She truly believed in his dream and treated it like her own. When he had given up she still believed in Him and his dream. She didn’t ditch him because his great plan didn’t work.

I thank God for my cheerleader and pray that I too will be a ride or die cheerleader, believe in the dream and pursue it as my own.

3) There is a God. This should be number 1. He works in miraculous ways (His wonders to perform). He makes divine connections happen.

There is no situation too difficult or dead for Him. You may have given up but never give up on Him. He is able.

So here I am, thanking God for my cheerleader :) , inspired that God still works in the background. Ready to write for the glory of His name.

When the books are published I’ll be sure to reference this day.

What has God asked you to do? Who can you cheer on today?




Daadaaa: Daddy-Daughter Love

“Daaadaaaaaa!!!” Miss K shouts from one room to another.

Immediately her daadaa answers “yes”, she sits up and crawls to look for him. Once she gets to him, she stands, and motions to be picked up. The look of pure joy and glee when she is in her father’s arms is unmatched.

At a tender age, she has figured out the her daaadaaa is a figure of strength, safety, a human jungle gym and perhaps the funniest human being in her world. He has her in stitches every single day. When he comes home every day, she stops what she is doing, says ‘daaadaaa’, and crawls towards him. Woe unto him if he decides to do something else before she says hi to him, she will wail the house down.

Every time I watch Miss K, call out to daadaa I remember this verse:-



It is an honor to watch the two of them. Many times it makes me miss my dad, but over the weeks I have learned that though I lost my earthly father, I have a Heavenly Father who is patiently waiting for me to call out his name, seek Him out and let Him love on me. I choose not to keep Him waiting any longer. May I relate with him as a young girl and her father, fully aware that He loves me and wants the best for me.

Truly, my best days, full of joy, peace and all round fun are ahead of me, in Him.

Whose name are you calling today?




The World of Parenting


Children are a personal responsibility from God.

There are many theories on parenting and it is good to be informed. There is a lot that we can learn from those who have gone ahead of us. As we learn the principles, we should pick what works for us in accordance to our Faith and belief system.

At the end of the day, I believe that as a parent, it is important to ask God to tell you who each child is and how you should raise them. Every child is an individual with a unique personality. What may work for one child, may not work for another. Also, the earlier you understand the child the sooner you can tweak your parenting style. In Judges 13, when an angel of the Lord appeared to Manoah’s wife, he told her that they would have a son. She was instructed not to drink wine or any other alcoholic drink or eat any forbidden food. For their son would be dedicated to God at birth as a Nazirite and he would rescue Israel from the Philistines. She rushed and told Manoah what the angel had said, and he prayed to the Lord to send the angel back to give them more instructions about the son who was to be born and the angel came back with more instructions.

The amazing thing is that we have the Holy Spirit and if we ask God, He will give us more instructions on how to raise our children. We do not have to walk in the dark.

The truth is, though we are all in this parenting game together, we will be answerable individually.


Let God lead you as you lead your children. Don’t be afraid to go against the gradient for something you believe in.

I have seen prayer move mountains in my personal life and in the lives of others. It is indeed crucial that we pray for our children everyday.


I found a nice prayer guide with pointers on how to pray for them daily.


God bless you even as you point your children back to Him. He is our source of hope, peace, love, and joy. Only He can satisfy them and only He will never fail them. You are guaranteed that they are in safe hands when in His arms.

Happy parenting :)



Lessons From My Daughter (Pt 6)

We are 10 months old. Where did time fly to?

It is such a blessing to be a mummy to this little girl. I am amazed at how far God has brought us. She has enriched our lives and warmed our hearts. She has left a mark on our hearts and in our sitting room as well. When you walk in the door, you can tell she is around. She runs a ‘toy distribution’ service and does a splendid job at it:) .

I have learned many lessons from this little star, you can check out my last lesson here. Recently, she has been teaching me about enjoying life everyday. Here is how:

1) Celebrate Yourself

Miss K claps for herself when she does something good :) it is really sweet. She celebrates her own little milestones several times a day . It has challenged me to celebrate myself when I make small steps towards my goal. Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader with pompoms et al. Who doesn’t like a little pat on the back and a small round of applause? It feels great to be acknowledged and celebrated.


2) Laugh at Yourself

If you wanna hear a genuine infectious laugh, you are welcome to visit us. Many are the days pretty lady and I end up laughing at her laughs. They are so innocent and heartfelt; they can go on and on and leave her breathless. When she spots herself on a reflective surface she smiles and laughs too. When she lands on her tushy after standing too long she bursts into laughter. I guess she has understood at a tender age that we all get tired, and there is nothing to be ashamed of.


3) Sing and Dance Along

We have a little artiste in our house. She is our entertainer who loves music and sings along to songs she likes. Miss K has a ‘that’s my jam’ face when a song she likes plays, and she dances along. She thinks my workout music is also dance-worthy. Her little karaoke sessions remind me that I don’t have to know the lyrics of the song to have a good time. I don’t have to know everything to enjoy life. Sometimes it is important to let loose, have a good time and let those endorphins do their work.


My prayer is that I will model to her the joy of the Lord in every situation. It is okay to be sad once in a while, but we must bounce back.




Staying afloat in the deep

I’m currently reading ‘The Confident Woman’ by Joyce Meyer. It is such a fantastic read, a life changing book. I know I’ll refer to it a couple of times in the next couple of days.


The myriad of emotions elicited upon the realization of God’s plans for my life can be paralyzing. Many are the times I have felt as though I am in WAY over my head.

In the midst of the panic and mixed emotions, I have realized, it is really foolish to panic as God leads me into the deep. Even in the shallow end, He was still the one anchoring me.


I am quickly learning that He is God of the whole pool; both the deep and shallow end. I wouldn’t be standing in the shallow end without Him. I am God sufficient.

”Ofcourse, life can sometimes make us feel like we’re in over our heads, but the reality is that, without God, we’re always in over our heads.

For example, a little three-year-old girl felt secure in her father’s arms as Dad stood in the middle of a swimming  pool. But Dad, for fun, began walking slowly toward the deep end, gently chanting, ‘Deeper and deeper and deeper’, as the water rose higher and higher on child. The girl’s face registered increasing degrees of panic, as she held all the more tights to her father, who of course, easily touched the bottom. Had the little girl been able to analyse her situation, she’d have realized there was no reason for her increasing fear. The water’s depth in ANY part of the pool was over her head. For her, safety anywhere.In that pool depended on her Dad.

At various points in our lives, all of us feel we’re getting ‘out of our depth’ or ‘in over our heads’. There are problems all around: a job is lost, someone dies, there is strife in the family, or a bad report comes from the doctor. When these things happen, out temptation is to panic, because we feel we’ve lost control. But think about it – just like the child in the pool, the truth is we’ve never been in control when it comes to life’s most crucial elements. We’ve always been held up by the Grace  of God, our Father, and that won’t change. God is never out of His depth, and therefore w as safe when we’re in life’s ‘deep end’ as we were in the paddling pool.” (Meyer,2007,12)

What are you panicking about? Where is God calling you deeper? Are you heeding the call or hiding?


He is God either way, all the way. May you be reminded of His omnipresence, unfailing love and never ending Grace as He leads you deeper and deeper.



Meyer, J (2007).The Confident Woman. London:Hodder & Stroughton


Home: Our Safe Space

I was away from home for a couple of weeks. It’s great to be back to our little haven. 70bf8f4215597ee953ba14b7d3875411

This saying is not always true though. For some, home is a place they dread to go to. Some people, come just in time for bed and leave before sunrise. While others, avoid home all together.

It is easy to shift the blame around for being unhappy and feeling unsafe at home when you are living with your family of origin. You can blame marital problems, abuse; the list is endless.

It is a different ball game all together once you get married.

Your marital home is your home away from home. A place where together with your spouse you get to set the rules and break them if you like. You take responsibility for your actions and decisions.

A safe space doesn’t just happen. It is more than the combination of colourful walls, tasteful furniture and beautiful China. It is a conscious decision made daily to make the home a safe place.


The world is brutal. Every warrior needs a place he can take off his armour, put down his sword and just be vulnerable. ( Please keep on the sword of the spirit though.)


After a couple of days of living with your spouse, you figure out what they like and don’t like. You know their soft spots and raw spots. This information is power, you are informed on how to irritate them on one hand and be a blessing on the other hand.

Leave judgment and comparison at the door. The world offers these in plenty. There is no need for an extra serving at home.


Put a guard over your mouth. The truth is that not everything you think must be said. Avoid the temptation to keep repeating yourself like a broken telephone. In the beginning it is reiteration, after a while it is nagging. In all things, speak life. There is power in the tongue. Don’t be a prophet of doom. Speak life.

Make your home inviting. Find something that makes your home homely for you. Make it a place that you look forward to going to.

”What is said at home stays at home.” Trust is an important aspect of a safe space. No one is perfect, and no one likes to have their faults announced to the public. Be a confidant.

Proverbs 14:1 (NIV)

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Pray. Invite the Lord’s presence and wisdom into your home. Read His word and let Him show you how to make your home safe. In Him we find safety.

Proverbs 24:3 (NIV)

By wisdom a house is built, through understanding it is established.

All in all, keep Jesus at the center. In Him we find all that we need. When in doubt ask the Spirit.


If your marriage is in a dry place, may the Lord refresh it. If your home is currently a hostile place, I pray that the Lord will minister to you, heal your heart and show you how to make it a safe space.



*all images are courtesy of pinterest*


The Big Q : Are You Available?

The past one week has been super intense for me. It’s been a life changing experiences. I remember waking up last Monday, confused; not sure how my day would go. I was tired of making plans that weren’t falling into place. Lord knows I hate feeling disappointed. As I lay in bed, I asked the Holy Spirit to go ahead of me and order my steps. Boy am I glad I did. God took over. I was simply in awe. He sent a friend to spend time with me, we sat for hours, when she left I was sure I had received a hug from above. I had so much peace.


The days that followed, I kept asking the Lord to order my steps and He has blown me away. I am privileged to have a friend in Him.


I have testimonies of the Lord’s faithfulness. Wow!!! It is an honour to have my steps directed by the living God.


As the days have gone by I have sensed Him asking me ”Are you available?” You see, the world is longing to see the sons and daughters of God revealed. The world is waiting to see God’s children respond obediently to His commands. He desires to know if we are available to serve Him.

This video really challenged me.


When we obey the Lord, people’s lives are changed. The lady at the end of the video had me in tears. I remembered the times that I have cried to the Lord and He has sent someone to be His hands and feet.

So here I am, humbled by His love. Responding to His call daily and saying, ‘YES, I am available!’ There is a fire within me that the Lord has placed, May it burn for His glory.


Are you available?

Will you partner with the Holy Spirit?





Comparison: The Key to Dissatisfaction

We live in a society that loves to compare. Something or someone is always the yardstick. The truth is that everyone has an opinion that they believe is the gospel truth regardless of whether or not it is based on the Gospel.

Social media has become a key part of people’s lives. Most people put their best foot forward and show the good part of their lives. They reserve the bad and ugly parts for the limited audience who have access to their personal lives. It is easy to draw a conclusion from what they choose to show you and let it influence your thought process.


Many times insecurity does not come about because we are not capable but because we choose to look at ourselves through a lens that does not fit.  The wrong lens gives a skewed perspective.


Comparison leads to dissatisfaction. It is indeed a disservice to yourself and the society. It reflects what you truly think about where God has placed you.

I absolutely love Psalm 16. It reminds me that where I am is not just a coincidence but a part of His grand plan.

verse 5-8 (NLT)

Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
    You guard all that is mine.
The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
    What a wonderful inheritance!

 I will bless the Lord who guides me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
    I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

It is folly for a triangle to feel inadequate because it does not look like a square. They were created to serve two different purposes.


If you feel as though you can’t help but compare yourself, take time out, avoid places and platforms that steal your joy. Focus on the ONE who gave you the gift of life, ask Him to show you why you were created and what you need to do on this earth. Once you have figured it out, get to work. Give it your best and let God show off through you. Remember, He is the REAL judge. His opinion is the one that really matters and should influence your actions and emotions.

 Galatians 6:4 (NLT)

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.

Focus on the purpose God has placed you on earth for and bloom away.





For The Weary Mum

f61807f83bde210da47fc4cac19558dfHappy New Week!

Tuesday is my new Monday. Well, at least since I had a baby. I feel like Monday is my Sabbath to recover from the Sabbath. I fully boot and begin my week on Tuesdays and this week is no different.

This post is dedicated to the weary mummy who also looks for some tranquility on Mondays. There is never a dull day in your life.

A few days ago I spent the midnight hour in the peads casualty. It was so sad to see other children sick. What caught my attention was the weary mums trying to be tough cookies for their babies even when they couldn’t do much to help them. Also, why do children get sick at night? The place was so packed.

In the midst of all the coughs and sneezes, children were telling their parent’s about their experiences with the doctor. One girl made our night. After telling us all how she is a big girl, out of the blue she shouted, ”Mum, me I love omena!” Bless that little girl’s soul. It was not what she said, but how she said it that had us in stitches. I love children’s honesty.

A couple of month’s ago, I felt as though I was in over my head. Sleep deprivation was getting to me. One evening I sat and cried out to God and asked Him to speak to me, to speak to my weary heart that didn’t want to give up but felt spent. This is what He said:-

Isaiah 40:25-31 NLT

25 “To whom will you compare me?
    Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One.

26 Look up into the heavens.
    Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
    calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
    not a single one is missing.
27 O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
    O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
28 Have you never heard?
    Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
    No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
29 He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
30 Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion.
31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint.

Now, read it like this:

Even young young mums will become weak and tired, and young women will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. (Emphasis mine)

It is okay to feel tired and weary. Yes, I know we may seem rather pink and weak in comparison to our mothers and women of old, however, the bible says that even you will get tired. Your feelings are valid. Don’t let anybody take you on a guilt trip about your limited strength.


It is easy to expect other people to fill the gap and encourage you while your in a valley however, you cannot put your trust in them. The truth is, your husband, friends and relatives will fail you because what you need is way above their dispensation grade.

Trusting in the Lord is what will help you find new strength. His strength will help you rise above the challenges and soar. You will run the evening marathon and morning rush hours and not grow weary. You will walk as you exercise patience and not faint.

Can I hear an Amen?

When it gets rough from time to time, I usually remind myself to do the following step by step.


Be encouraged my dear. Serve your family as though you are serving the Lord. Turn to Him and lean on Him. Embrace the season, heed the call and give it your all.


God has not forgotten you, even when it gets hard, He is right there with you.




Of Calloused Soles and Hearts

Happy new month (:

Every time I think about feet, King Julien comes to mind :)



I am a lot like King Julien, I do not like my feet being touched. ”That’s a little strange” I hear you say? Well, if anything, my favourite part of a pedicure is when my toe nails are being painted. I could go back week after week to have the color changed. Yes! we are all different :) What is relaxing for one may be irritating for another. Lord knows I endure the earlier parts of the pedicure. I wince and laugh (very awkwardly for that matter) when my feet are being scrubbed. However, as much as I dread these parts, I don’t quite like the idea of half pedicures. It’s all or nothing for me.

Feet are supposed to be soft and subtle, nails trimmed, especially if you plan on running them along your spouse or beddings.There is nothing cute about calloused feet. NOTHING! In fact, there is a problem when they feel like sand paper. Nobody wants sand paper in their beds, let’s leave that for the carpenters. When there are sound effects when you move your feet in bed there is a small problem. Your sheets may begin to protest, when you tear them. When your feet reach this level, they need help.

The good news is, if you are like me and dislike intense pedicures, there are ways to avoid calloused soles and feet:-

*Soak feet often to soften dead skin.

*Exfoliate the feet with a pumice stone weekly.

*Keep the feet moisturised, applying a moisturizing cream before bed can be very helpful.

*Wear thick socks when wearing shoes.

Tips courtesy of http://www.wikihow.com

I am currently enjoying the blue nail polish on my feet :) Golden Rose has done me well. The cold in the city is encouraging me to get a pedicure, there’s no room for rough edges when asking for heart.


That’s my nickname for a heart beauty treatment :)

The same way there is no room for sand paper like feet in marriage is the same way there is no room for a calloused heart.

Hearts are meant to be soft to be able to feel. However, when neglected they become hard and rough. Before you know it, they are no longer responsive to the little things anymore. Eventually, they start causing destruction.

When lyrics like “there’s an ice box where my heart used to be” describe you aptly, there is a problem.

Once you’ve become desensitized you slowly lose the ability to feel as you used to. What would previously raise red flags becomes the norm. It only gets darker, colder and lonelier from there.

Once or twice I have found myself in this difficult position, where my heart was as hard as a rock. The things that used to make it beat and skip with joy were such a bore. I was not able to be patient or to love coz I couldn’t give what I didn’t have. I was empty; hollow; depressed. As my heart grew hard and calloused, my light grew dim. The fear of the Lord became a thing of the past. I was numb to the things of God. I was out to prove a point, hearts and feelings were for losers. Also, who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

If you want to see someone waste away (lose purpose) extremely fast, attack their heart.


It is never just a callousness of heart, it is more than that, it becomes a way of life.

Calloused hearts are not bold and beautiful. Instead they are rough and they cause destruction.

I put together a small list of ways to prevent a calloused heart.

*Soak in the presence of the Lord

*Allow His word to scrape off what needs to go as it pierces through.bone and marrow and show you His truth

*Accept correction on the go. Don’t wait for the heart to become very callousd before reaching out for help.

*Know His word and His promises. Claim them daily.

*Listen to His spirit and obey it. Keep the teachable spirit alive.

I’ve taken many shortcuts before. The reason is foolish and simple, I wanted to enjoy the beauty without the ashes, the harvest without the planting.

The same way I can’t wish away calloused feet is the same way I can’t wish away a calloused heart. I need to report for my beauty treatment daily and let God have his way.

We live in a cold cold world, we need all the warmth and light we can get. Surrender to the King and let Him use your heart and life for His glory.

Time to get my feet and heart in check. #Team NoSandPaper.

I’ll leave you with one more picture of King Julien. Remember, at the end of the day you are responsible for the status of your sole and heart :).





Chasing Donkeys And Finding Annointing

Sometimes God asks us to do things that seem very boring, like finding donkeys. Some of which are not as cute as Donkey from Shrek, and, no, Eddie Murphy does not talk back to you when you meet them.


Courtesy of en.wikipedia.org

Let me tell you a little donkey chasing story.

There was a rich and influential man called Kish the father of Saul. One day, he woke up and found his donkeys missing. He called his son Saul and asked him to take on of his servants and go look for his donkeys. After travelling through the country of Ephraim, the land of Shalishah, the Shaalim area and the entire land of Benjamin, they still couldn’t find the donkeys anywhere.

When they entered the land of Zuph, Saul told his servant that they should head back home, as his father would now start to worry about them more than the donkeys. His servant convinced him that they should go see the man of God so that he could point them in the right direction. Saul was a bit hesitant because they did not have anything left to take as a gift for the servant of God, but the servant had one silver coin that they could give him.

On their way they met some young women who pointed them in the right direction. As they walked in to the gates, God reminded Samuel of the message He had given him the previous day. He had said that “About this time tomorrow I will send you a man from the land of Benjamin. Anoint him to be the leader of my people, Israel. He will rescue them from the Philistines, for I have looked down on my people on mercy and have heard their cry.” When Samuel noticed Saul, the LORD said, “That’s the man I told you about! He will rule my people.”

When they reached the gateway they met Samuel and asked him if he could direct them to the seer. He told them that he was the man of God. He directed them to go up the hill ahead of him to the place of sacrifice and that they would eat together.The next morning,  he would tell them what they wanted to know and send them on their way. He asked them not to worry about the donkeys that were lost three days ago for they had been found.

Samuel explained to Saul that he and his family were the focus of Israel’s hopes. Samuel gave him the seat of honor and the finest cut of meat, both of which he’d set aside for him even before he invited the other guests. Saul spent the night at Samuel’s house and the next day, Samuel anointed him at the edge of the town.

You can read this story in detail in 1 Samuel 9.

As I read this story, God just reminded me how many times He asks us to go on seemingly boring journeys looking for ‘unimportant’ things. It is easy to refuse and not go, but if we don’t go we could miss out on our anointing.

While on the search, it can get discouraging. Instead of giving up and heading back home, we should press in and see what God is saying right and figure out what He has in store for us.

The 8:28 principle is the truth.


Even as God sends you out on donkey chases, remember that He is working all things out for your good. He loves you.

So, get up and chase those donkeys, do not get discouraged, your anointing could be waiting for you.






Life is constantly changing. As days go by, not only do things change but people too.

Change can be unnerving, confusing and scary to say the least. Sometimes you are super prepared for it, other times, it comes and knocks you off your feet. Once in a while it can take your breath away. In some rare occasions, it can knock the wind out of you and leave you feeling hopeless.

One of the mistakes that I have made several times over the last couple of years is dwelling on the confusion after the change of season. There are times that I have wished that I could just linger on in the season that just ended because it had been uncomfortably comfortable. Yes, I was uncomfortable, I desired something new; I was also comfortable in the predictability of the season.

I have learned that it’s not bad to dream and yearn for what has passed temporarily, what is bad is, focusing all your energy thinking about where you could be. When the seasons of life change the calling does too. Sooner rather than later it is important to figure out what the calling for the new season is.

These are my guidelines for getting the best out of any season:

*Identify the Season

Mourn the one that has passed if need be. Embrace the one that you are in and set out to learn the lessons that it holds.

*Heed the Call

God speaks, if we are willing to listen, we will hear Him . His purpose for us as individuals is very specific. It is important to understand what He desires of us and then work from there.

The last couple of weeks, I have had a burden for stay-at-home mums, who wonder if they are doing enough. Here is a reminder that you are:-


Continue heeding the call that you received. Remember there is no better place you can be than right where God needs you to be. You may not receive a monetary reward, but allow yourself to see your worth as much more than money can buy. When the new season comes, give it your all, but don’t sit by the door anticipating the next season just yet. Enjoy the one you are in and let the Lord minister to you and renew your spirit.

Sometimes I dwell on the past and eagerly anticipate the future. However I am slowly learning that I should enjoy the boundary lines that God has place me in for a time such as this.






Above All Else!


It is important to know what your non-negotiables and negotiable terms are. Keeping your non-negotiables the main thing helps you protect yourself from disappointment and regret.

Over the last year, my non-negotiables have changed a lot. In fact I remember writing a list of the things I HAD to have before Miss K came, I got most of them before she landed and some I got as she has been with us. However, looking back I have realized that some of the things were not as necessary as I thought. It is easy to focus my energy on the negotiable terms and miss out on the real must-haves.

The same thing applies to my personal life, sometimes I invest so much of my energy and time on things that are neither here nor there. I am willing to sacrifice greatly for some seemingly important but rather useless things.

In fact, a couple of months ago I needed to take a social media break. It hit me that I was miraculously finding time for it (please note my sarcasm) yet the things that I was really passionate about were suffering. So I had to re-evaluate my non-negotiable and negotiable terms.

This is my non-negotiable term:-


Guarding my heart is not as easy as it may seem at face value. It is a deliberate decision everyday to let God renew my mind by focusing on Him and letting Him fill me. Sometimes, when I watch a sad series I end up feeling sad. So I have had to reevaluate what I fill my heart with.

This verse below, put everything into perspective for me.

1 John 5:21 (NLT Gift & Award Version)

Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.

Guarding my heart is about keeping Jesus on the throne of my heart. Keeping away from anything that could take His place. Whatever threatens His Lordship must go. I must serve the eviction notice daily and let God lead me. It is just not about giving Jesus the wheel, but giving Him the whole car and letting Him do with it as He pleases.

What are your non-negotiable and negotiable terms? What is your above all else?

May God remain the Lord of your heart this week, and, may He lead you in every thing that you do.




Taking Stock: No More Excuses

Whoa, where did the year fly to? July is almost here, that means Christmas is right around the corner.

Since we are practically halfway through 2015, it is time to take stock of the half that has been. See what has worked, review what hasn’t, celebrate the victories and learn from the mistakes.

I started taking stock yesterday and as I reflected, God led me to read these verses (emphasis on verse 30):

1 Corinthians 7: 29-30 (NLT-Gift &Award Edition)

Now let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short, so husbands should not let marriage be their major concern. Happiness or sadness or wealth should not keep anyone from doing God’s work.


I was just speechless.

Earlier in the year God asked me to do several things, some I begun but stopped midway, and blamed sleep regression, depression and whatever other ‘valid’ reason that presented itself at the time. I never quite got back to doing them.

God reminded me that when He asked me to do those things He was not ignorant of my emotions or circumstances. He asked knowing FULLY well what was going on within and around me.

I was so humbled. So here I am, thankful for second chances to be obedient. Thankful for the Holyspirit who speaks loudly even when I put Him on mute. I have written a list of the things that God asked me to do that I made excuses about, and I am going to get on with them.

1st Samuel 15:22 (NLT)

But Samuel replied,

“What is more pleasing to the Lord:
    your burnt offerings and sacrifices
    or your obedience to his voice?
Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice,
    and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.

Before I accuse God of not speaking in a current situation, let me respond to the instructions He spoke to me in a previous conversation. After all, what good is it to hear but not act?

The truth is we were created to worship Him. He desires our obedience rather than our sacrifices.


God bless you even as you take stock of the half that has been and allow Him to shed His light on your path.



Hello Sunshine :)

The sunrise was absolutely breathtaking this morning.

It’s light completely consumed the darkness. It reminded me of this verse:

Psalm 30:5b (NLT)

Weeping may last through the night,
    but joy comes with the morning.

In my last post, I mentioned the voices in my head. They have this tendency to minister to me at night and the thoughts consume me. The devil chooses the most quiet time to speak loudest.

A couple of months ago, my husband challenged me to pray that God will be the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. It just doesn’t happen, it is what God was telling Joshua in Joshua chapter 1.

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.


He needed Joshua to understand that whatever or whoever consumes you controls you. If I let the voices in my head be the only voices I listen to , before I know they will consume me and I will begin to be everything they say that I am. The opposite is also true.

laM 3


This verse gives me so much hope! His great love is the reason that I will not be consumed. He never gives up on me. His mercy never fails, they are new every morning, He is faithful even when my faith wavers. This song is my prayer each and every day, that God will consume me from the inside out.


It is a new day, a new week.

Here’s to sunshine!

Here’s to letting the Son shine in every dark and confusing situation. His light will change your perspective and warm your heart.

May you experience Him in a new way this week.




True Beauty

Mirror Mirror On The Wall


When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Does it change from time to time?

I’ve struggled with hormonal acne for a couple of years, I have tried different treatments that sometimes work and sometimes they just don’t (especially when you need them to the most). Looking back I can laugh at conversations that I have had with my husband. I remember once, during an acne flare, I made a negative comment about how I looked and he looked back at me genuinely concerned that my eyes were having technical difficulties because he could not see what I was talking about. And, no, love is not blind :).

The Voices In My Head


Honestly, sometimes I am sure that they need to be shot. They have a way of exaggerating, telling white lies and discouraging. If they are not discussing the acne, it’s the scars or the extra inch that needs to relocate from point A to point B. From time to time I have made the mistake of listening to them and internalizing what they say, let’s just say that those days I have not left the house.

Over the years, I have had to learn that beauty cannot be measured by the lack of little hills on my face. Of course, I do feel prettier without them, however, I have learned to rise above, and search for true beauty that is bigger and prettier than the beauty measured by acne. Beauty that is affirmed by someone other than the voices in my head. Lord knows I have heard and had enough of them.

True Beauty

A few days ago, I stumbled upon this quote that best summarizes my quest.


It was such a breath of fresh air.

The truth is:-

A mirror made by a man is not the best tool to measure our beauty. It will only see the clay on the outside and miss out on the treasure on the inside.

2 Corinthians 4:7 (NIV)

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

The treasure and beauty both come from God. Without Him you cannot find and fully exploit them.

The days I don’t feel pretty because of an acne flare; a misplaced inch or two; postpartum shedding or whatever else my eyes choose to dwell on, I remind myself that there is much more to beauty than meets the eye. Also, the voices in my head need to retire, forever.





Where Feet May Fail

At the beginning of the year, I was so clear about my mini ‘theme’ for the year. It was based on this song:-

I had such a conviction that God wanted to take me on an adventure, then I got comfortable. Or rather, absorbed in my own life – struggling to find the balance between all the roles that I play. I must say that these things were all noble but I began to live in active disobedience in the name of wanting to see the big-picture. Whatever that means really. Seeing as I wouldn’t be able to achieve the ‘big picture’ in a day. Desiring to see the big picture before I move revealed the real status of my heart. I had trust issues, serious ones at that.


He has never failed me. I may have perceived circumstances in a negative manner while still in the process but at the end, God showed me His hand and heart in it all. Yes, there were trying times but he didn’t let me sink. Yes, I have ‘unanswered’ prayers that have sometimes made me wonder if He still cares even about the small big things in my life; the ones that seem small to the world but seem humongous to me. I know that He cares for me.

About my adventure, a few weeks ago I resolved to just do it. The truth is that there is only one God in this relationship, AND, if I can trust Him with some aspects of my life I should be able to trust Him with the whole of it, and follow His directives in every aspect.

This portion of scripture keeps me going.

Matthew 14:25-31 (NIV)

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said,“why did you doubt?”

My take outs are:-

1) The adventure is personal.

It’s not a group venture. If it was, the rest of the disciples would have been walking with Peter. It is Peter who desired to take the adventure to walk on water.

2) Obey Immediately

Peter responded to the invitation immediately. He could have said that He would try on their way back, but he heeded the call immediately.

3) Keep your eyes on Jesus

The wind will blow that’s for sure. The waves will rise but He is Lord over them all. Once you take your eyes of Him you begin to sink. Not because you couldn’t make it but because you doubted.

4) We live by Faith

We live by faith and not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

If we wait to see the bigger picture we will miss out on living the life that God has set aside for us.

Here I am with renewed resolve to walk upon the waters where feet may fail.

images (1)




Lessons From My Daughter (Pt 5)

Babies! They come into this world, extremely dependent, and before you know it they are all grown up; little ‘independent’ people. The little girl we brought home from the hospital in September last year is growing. Soon she won’t want to be held as much. Sigh. Time flies. This is a reminder to cherish every season.

This season, she has taught me such valuable timely lessons that have challenged me to get out of my comfort zone and BE.

1) Set a Goal, then Go Get It


Miss K is now mobile! We now have to be more alert; she is no longer the baby that you leave at one place and expect to find there. Now, she is all over the place, rolling, crawling, moving on her stomach (breast stroke on dry land :) ). Her resolve amazes me, if she wants it she must go get it. It is a good and a bad thing; sometimes she wants things that she shouldn’t have and you have to explain to her why she can’t have it as you take it away. Baby proofing at this rate will be done as we lie on our bellies.

She has challenged me to set a goal and pursue it. Even when the odds seem like they are working against me I should take a step closer. When the energy to run is sapped, I should crawl, when I can’t crawl any more, I should roll. Whatever I do, I should never give up.

2) Stay Curious

There is never a dull day in Miss K’s life. She eats life with a big HUGE spoon.

She is constantly looking for something that can make her happy. A new thing equals a new opportunity for her. It may be something as mundane as tupperware but to her it’s the best new toy. Seemingly boring things to us are so exciting to her.

She has taught me to stay curious. There is an adventure waiting for me in my everyday life, if only I would change my perspective and look around.


3) Hold On to the One you trust

When Miss K feels scared she holds on to you tight, because she trusts you.

A couple of weeks ago I had a bout of anxiety coupled with fear out of the blue. I couldn’t sleep; it went on for three days and I was troubled. On the third day Miss K met someone new who wanted to carry her, she was scared and held on to her daddy tight.

It reminded me that when I am afraid I should hold on to the One I trust.


That evening, I prayed about the anxiety and asked for peace. God is so faithful, I’ve not had another bout of anxiety. His peace has been guarding my heart and mind since.

Philippians 4: 6-7 (NLT)

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

May you experience His peace that exceeds anything that you understand this week.

Two toothed smiles from the pretty lady.




Still The One <3

you are
We recently celebrated our third anniversary :). As we looked back we realized that so much has happened in three years; it’s a long-short time. We are definitely not the same as when we got married. Marriage has refined our edges. The things that used to make us edgy no longer do. It’s been a daily heart boot camp.

I am fond of love stories. Hearing how people met and courted makes me happy. What saddens me though, is that something happens a few years down the line. The love that had set their souls ablaze is just but a candle that lights on some days. When you ask what happened, they can’t quite put their finger on it. It’s been a slow fade over the days and months and they didn’t realize how much things were changing until they woke up one day and couldn’t recognize the person lying next to them. Yes, they knew their name but that was about it. They’d become too self absorbed to follow up on what the other liked, loved or even loathed. Basically, they were strangers living in the same house. Relying on the spark that was present when they got married (before life happened) to keep their hearts ablaze.

Love doesn’t just happen. It takes work and sacrifice. 


When you find the one that your heart loves,pursue them daily.

Love is a choice that you make daily.

Peter is Still The One. The face that I wake up to each morning, the One I choose to love each day

Last year I shared two precious lessons I had learnt over the two years. A few days leading up to the big day,  I begun to ask God what the lesson was this year ( I believe that the school of life has many lessons to teach). As I reminisced over the last couple of years I realized that seasons have changed but He has remained the same.

God revealed to me that HE IS STILL THE ONE!!




He is CONSTANT regardless of the good and bad times that life throws your way.

He is still the One at the throne

He is still the One who holds us together (Colossians 1:17)


Lamentations 5:19 (NLT)

But Lord, you remain the same forever!
    Your throne continues from generation to generation.

Some things never change; God remains the same.

This morning as I got Miss K ready, I started singing ‘Great is Thy Faithfulness’ and as she hummed along, I realized that it is He who has sustained us. He is still faithful, His mercies are new every morning.

May He be All that you need this week.




The S Word



The second S word in marriage, after S.E.X.

A couple of years ago, before I met the hubster, I used to hear this word and shudder. In my mind it was synonymous with ‘to be seen and not heard’. To operate like a submarine; chini ya maji. Looking back, the marriages around me as I grew up were not the perfect poster children for submission.

Submission remained such a grey area in my heart and mind regarding marriage. It was the main weakness in my SWOT analysis of marriage. It translated to weakness, period. Why would a perfectly capable woman go in and agree to be somebody’s ‘door mat’? My rationale was skewed; the root was a wounded heart. What I saw growing up had become my reality.

When I begun dating my husband, I asked the Lord to renew my mind and show me His truth regarding submission. If He created it to be beautiful then there ought to be something that I was missing. Little did I know ,not only did I need a renewal of mind, but a change of scenery as well. I had been staring at the wrong picture for far too long.

He begun to open my eyes to marriages around me that were doing it differently. I still found that within my circle, submission was subtly explained but not expounded on. So I went into marriage with a good understanding in theory of what was expected of me ,and a vague understanding of what it translated to in marriage; enough to let me know that I didn’t have to blend in with the furniture or wait to be addressed before I spoke. No submarine tactics :). Over the years, God has given me a better understanding of what submission is.

Our society has conditioned us to do things because something else has been done for us. ‘ Because he provides for the home, you should serve him when he enters the house.’ The cause and effect is all wrong. Life may throw a curve ball like sickness, and accident, loss of a job and he may not be able to provide, does that mean the submission would come to a stand still until he provides again?  We shouldn’t submit because of what our husbands do but because we know God.

It is so interesting that as Paul gave his instructions for conduct within the home he always started by instructing the women.

Instructions for Christian Households.

You wives must submit to your husbands, as is fitting got those who belong to the Lord. Colossians 3:18 (NLT)

It is sad when Christian Households borrow a leaf (or the whole tree) from Hollywood regarding how wives and husbands should relate. The bible is quite clear; it should be our yardstick. It may seem ‘boring’ because it is black and white and doesn’t advocate for coloring outside the box BUT it is all for our good. It saves us.


Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands

And further you will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:21-24 (NLT)

Submission is a result of what Christ did for us; it is our response to the cross in our homes. -Kui Kimemia

The title is Spirit Guided Relationships because it only works if you let the Holy Spirit lead you. At the end of the day, when Christ comes back for His church we will give an account of our lives as individuals, not as husband and wife. On that day, may we not need to play the blame game like Adam and Eve did in the garden.

td jakes

A man who is not in submission to God may lead you astray. Do not submit blindly; Christ must remain the center. Let His Spirit lead you so that the devil will not deceive you.

In conclusion,

Do not stifle the holy spirit. 1 Thessalonians 5:19 (NLT)

Amplify the volume on his receiver and let Him be the voice of reason in your home and life.

Submission is a beautiful thing when done the way that Christ intended it. It allows the wife to blossom in Christ.

For the husbands: remember to love your wives as Christ loved the church.




Love Conquers All

love conquers all great(3)

Happy new month.

May is my <3  month!

I started dating my husband in May, got engaged in May and married in May.

Last night I listened to a play list that we used to listen to when we had just started dating. Music is powerful. It took me down 5 years and left me in awe of God. I was so mushed by how far God has brought us, how much we have both grown as individuals.

One of the first times that we hang out as acquaintances was when he picked me up with a friend from my first Endo surgery. I was buzzed from the anesthesia, I talked a bit too much :) . I was super happy to make it out alive. Surgery has a ‘my life flashed before my eyes’ effect on me. I am usually scared when going under; I guess because I have no control over what happens when I am under. It’s not that I have much control about what happens to me when I am awake either, but it’s good to imagine that I do.

Last week, I asked my husband why he chose to pursue me yet He knew that it would not be easy seeing as we started off when I was a walking Endo-flare. I think that the vows in sickness and in health seem easier to say when both are healthy. But then again, this could be one of those things that varies with perspective. He said love conquers all. It was one of those answers that is so weighty and didn’t need to be expounded on. I was dumbfounded; left with a lot of food for thought.


I can attest to the fact that Love DOES conquer all. It conquers and endures every circumstance placed before it. Both the good and the bad. It may not be easy in the midst of it all, there may be some tears here and there but you come out stronger.

If you are going through a hard time, remember that love conquers all. If you feel like your love tank is low, spend time with God, the author of your love story. He is LOVE. Time with Him transforms you to be more like Him. May He infuse you with His love, that He may increase in you and you may decrease.

My song for the week:-

The same power that raised Jesus from the dead is able to resurrect any seemingly dead situation in your home and life. Don’t give up on His love, don’t lose the faith. If you let Him be the center, He will hold it together.

Have a blessed week.




endo warrior

This morning I was in tears. My friend turned sister was having a really rough Endo flare and being over 500 kilometers away didn’t make it any easier. I wanted to be there to rub her back and let her know that it would be okay. I know the crippling pain all to well, and, my heart breaks when I hear someone else is going through the same. For many years my hand bag was a mini pharmacy and I was a regular at the casualty of a local hospital.

Hospitals suck! They may seem interesting the first couple of visits but when you are a regular and the staff greet you by asking ” you are back again?” you realize that perhaps you need to reduce the frequency of your visits. The truth is, there is only so much pain relief you can get from over the counter drugs. Sometimes the pain is so bad that you need to spend a couple of hours in hospital getting stronger pain medication.

This morning as my friend lay in hospital, I lay in bed overwhelmed asking God so many questions. “How many more surgeries? How many more flare ups? When does it all end?” I prayed and told God the facts, the options that lay before our eyes and asked Him to show us His truth and His will.

Then He reminded me of this verse:-

the rock

He is Higher than her. He is higher than any disease that attempts to take over the body, He is higher than any scheme of the kingdom of darkness and in Him we find safety, restoration, strength and healing. He is our shelter in the midst of the Endo storm.

God is able to repay what Endometriosis has stolen from you, be it your joy, peace, opportunities, time, relationships, ability to have children etc. He is the God of restoration and children come from Him. As much as doctors talk about having a baby as if it were a magic portion that eradicates Endo, I know that it is only God who can heal Endo. Babies don’t fix things or people. If the Endo symptoms reduce after childbirth it is all by God’s grace and He deserves the glory.

I have seen and continue to see His healing power in my life. I am not where I used to be and I know that He is not done with me. He has won the victory and I know that His power cannot be measured by Endo in my life.

When you are overwhelmed by Endo, I pray that God will lead to Himself and show you His strength, healing power and faithfulness. You can rely on Him, He never changes.

To my sister and all other Endowarriors:- Receive big hugs and know that you are not alone. Even in the darkest hour His grace is sufficient. When you are weak He is strong. By His grace and for the glory of His name you will make it through.




Grief and Rest

Grief is strange. Sometimes you think that you have dealt with it and then it comes back and asks you ‘Who were you kidding?’. Then it feels as though you are back at scratch, hmm, maybe not, but it takes you way back; perhaps further than you would go voluntarily.

The best quote that I have read on grieving is:-


A couple of days ago we celebrated 4 years since my dad died. Leading up to the day I thought it would be just a quick ‘ ahh, wow, it’s been 4 years, already?? God is so faithful! ‘ as we share different memories et al and we would close the chapter till next year. Little did I know; on the actual day, my heart would be in turmoil.

Proverbs 14:10 (NLT)

Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.

Grief is one of those things that though you are walking together with someone they cannot fully identify with you. It’s personal, the ‘bitterness’ may vary from time to time and take longer than the ‘recommended’ healing time; so it may be hard for someone to keep up. It has various triggers, some are obvious and others not so obvious.

Thankfully, God is always up to speed, minute by minute, millisecond by millisecond. His love for you is not affected by the degree of the ‘bitterness’ in your heart.

depths f heart

If anything, He wants you to come when your heart is heavy. He desires to carry that burden instead and give you a light one.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

The greatest burdens are those that do not make it to the answer the question “How are you doing?”.

Yesterday, I carried Miss K as she was asleep and realized she feels so much lighter to carry when she is asleep. When she is awake, if she is not trying to eat my earrings or to pull my hair or top, she is reaching out for different things; the bottom line is when she is extra busy she is extra heavy.

That is the same way the heart is, when you are extra busy worrying about different things it is heavier. It is lightest when it is at rest.

May you heed the call for the mighty exchange to drop your heavy burden and pick His light one. May your heart find rest from the all battles that you fight within, and, may you find joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.




Super Mama


Motherhood is a calling. It is full time, all the time, all day, er’day. It never ends. Even when the little ones grow up and move out, they still remain your little ones in bigger bodies, ask your mama. My respect for my mummy has increased tremendously since I had a baby – she truly is super mama.

Sometimes being super mama, maintaining the life and work balance, can get overwhelming; especially when sleep deprivation is playing a role. We are currently in between a growth spurt and sleep regression. Exhausted does not begin to describe how I feel (teehee I thought today was Thursday). It’s been a long week.

Someone mentioned that the work really begins once you start weaning, but meal planning saves the day. A fews day ago, a friend asked me what time I have breakfast and I said about 10am. She asked if my mornings were ‘that busy’ and I chuckled to myself. They feel like rush hour in Nairobi minus the Kidero drums :) (which have now been removed) ; the things to do are lined up, bumper to bumper, as we race against time.

Miss K keeps me busy when she is awake, sometimes I can’t wait for her to sleep, then when she does I miss her; human beings are special :). I miss having unlimited alone time, though I have made peace within myself that it will never be the same. There will be portions of alone time but I will not be able to be a ‘free little bird’ ,though ,this doesn’t rule out spontaneity . I often wonder what I used to do before Miss K came.

One day as I was asking God who helps the helper (Super Mama), I was led to this scripture:-

Psalm 121 (NIV)

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

God helps the helper!

When I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself that it is HE who helps me; it is HE who gives me the strength and grace for today and tomorrow; it is HE who preserves me and renews me. It is HE who satisfies me with His unfailing love and watches over my coming and going.

If you are feeling a little overwhelmed, I pray that God will refresh you, give you energy that comes from above and satisfy you with His unfailing love.

Something that I am trying to incorporate to my daily schedule is, setting aside 30 minutes every day for myself and doing something that makes me happy. This will help me to slow down, recharge and be refreshed and rejuvenated. It may sound like a short time but it can do wonders. Some activities that I am considering are:- reading a book, knitting, crafting, baking, taking a walk, retail therapy, working out, home body scrubs, and mani-pedis. I will feedback on how that goes in a few days.

If you find yourself always serving others and barely getting time to take care of yourself, it is time to re-do your schedule and feature yourself on the priority list. Better still, if you are in Nairobi and you would like a one stop break:- adult conversation (Lord knows how precious this is), networking with mums (who won’t mind if you go on and on about your litu one), a massage, manicure and photo shoot, Kenyan Mums have got you covered.

mama's break


mother final

Do your best and leave the rest to God. Nothing is impossible for Him.




Lessons From My Daughter (Pt 4)

Happy new week :)

Miss K turned 6 months at the beginning of the month. It was an extra happy week in the K household. We had a little cake cutting session to celebrate God’s faithfulness and sustenance. Did I mention ebf? By God’s grace we exclusively breast fed. Prayers, liquids, dill seeds and rest worked wonders for my milk supply.

It is so amazing to see how babies grow. She rocked up into our lives just the other day, I still remember the day she was born quite vividly. She came as a little helpless (read: dependent) person and now she has developed her own personality and some independence, I mean she can even play by herself albeit briefly

We started weaning *happy dance* :) .So far so good. It has been quite the adventure with a food allergy et al, but we are taking it a day at a time and enjoying the different tastes and textures.

Weaning has been fun, it’s taught me a couple of lessons about spiritual diet and life.

1. There is a time for everything

Exclusive breast feeding was crucial for the first six months. I enjoyed it as I had a lot of milk and the preparation time was minimal. It helped her grow, hit her milestones and she was able to double her birth weight. In the same way, there is a time and season for spiritual milk.

1 Peter 2:2 (NIV)

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation,

2. Just because you want something, doesn’t mean you are ready for it

A few weeks before we weaned she would want to eat whatever she saw on our plates and drink what she saw us drinking. Truth be told, even if her saliva formed a puddle at my feet due to her eager salivary glands, the rest of her body was still not ready for solid food. Also there are guidelines for when a baby is ready to eat solid food. You can find them here.

1 Corinthians 3:2 (NIV)

I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready.

There are some foods that she is still not ready for but slowly and surely we will get there.

3. Don’ be selfish, Share the knowledge

Soon she will be eating solid foods very well. When the time comes, she will be able to model to her siblings how to eat ; as well as show them how to behave at the dinner table.

Hebrews 5:12 (NIV)

In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!

When you have learned something, find someone to teach.

Always have a teachable spirit. One that says:-

download (1)

“Once you stop learning, you start dying” – Albert Einstein

May you allow Jesus to teach you His truths and grow you at His pace. Do not measure yourself with the progress of others; let Him be your yardstick.

Christ is the living word (John 1:1). He is the bread of life, whoever goes to Him will not go hungry and if you believe in Him you will never thirst again. Only He can truly satisfy.

Song of the week:

Happy eating, drinking and learning.




Warm Fuzzies

A couple of days ago my heart was so heavy and I was struggling to get past the “why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?”. It’s as though a cloud of gloom was hanging over my head.

psalm 42-11As I sat and cried out to God, I picked up my bible and begun to read Luke 24; verse 13 to 34 particularly stood out.

On the day of the resurrection, two of Jesus followers were taking a walk to Emmaus. As they walked, Jesus joined them but they didn’t realize it was He who had joined them because God kept them from recognizing Him. They were really sad and deep in discussion, Jesus interjected and asked what they were so concerned about. Cleopas explained that He seemed to be the only one who hadn’t heard about all the things that had happened the last couple of days. Jesus asked him what exactly had happened.

“The things that happened to Jesus, the man from Nazareth,” they said. “He was a prophet who did powerful miracles, and he was a mighty teacher in the eyes of God and all the people. 20 But our leading priests and other religious leaders handed him over to be condemned to death, and they crucified him. 21 We had hoped he was the Messiah who had come to rescue Israel. This all happened three days ago.

22 “Then some women from our group of his followers were at his tomb early this morning, and they came back with an amazing report. 23 They said his body was missing, and they had seen angels who told them Jesus is alive! 24 Some of our men ran out to see, and sure enough, his body was gone, just as the women had said.” 

I was encouraged that when God asks us to bear our hearts and tell Him what is discouraging us, He doesn’t do so because He doesn’t already know. It is possible to feel like He is the only ONE out of the loop yet He is supposed to be on top of things. However, He wants to hear us out.  He desires for us to know that we have been heard. The reality is that there is nothing new that we are usually telling Him but He wants us to know that He is able to empathize with our weakness.

Hebrews 4:15 NIV

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin. (Many versions use the word sympathize in the place of empathize.)

His heart goes out to us. He doesn’t just ask. He asks because He cares and He too has been there.

When we speak, He responds

25 Then Jesus said to them, “You foolish people! You find it so hard to believe all that the prophets wrote in the Scriptures. 26 Wasn’t it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory?” 27 Then Jesus took them through the writings of Moses and all the prophets, explaining from all the Scriptures the things concerning himself. 


He tells the truth as it is. He will not sugar coat things to make us ‘happy’ (temporarily) but He speaks the truth that our minds may be transformed. His truth sets us FREE from every thought pattern that takes us captive.

When you encounter Him you don’t get sated. You desire more of Him, you want the conversation to go on for much longer.

28 By this time they were nearing Emmaus and the end of their journey. Jesus acted as if he were going on, 29 but they begged him, “Stay the night with us, since it is getting late.” So he went home with them. 30   As they sat down to eat, he took the bread and blessed it. Then he broke it and gave it to them. 31 Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And at that moment he disappeared! 

In His time, He will reveal Himself to us.

32 They said to each other, “Didn’t our hearts feels strangely warm as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?”

I paused. Indeed I too had felt a ‘strange warmth’ in my heart. The warm fuzzies. He had fanned the flame within and the result was such warmth. I have put my hope in Him and I will continue to praise him.


May your heart feel the warm fuzzies as His Spirit teaches you and explains to you His word. May His fire burn within your heart. Be careful though, that the depth of your relationship with Him is not restricted to a measure on a fuzzy scale. There is much more to your relationship with Him than your emotions can contain or even measure. May He minister to you and let you know that He is right there next to you; He has always been, even when He did not let you see Him. His word remains true, He will never leave you nor forsake you.




Stay and Wait

It was a rather somber weekend. On one hand, we celebrated the death and resurrection of Christ because the veil was torn and we have permanent direct access to God. On the other hand, we mourned and continue to mourn the lives of those who were killed in the Garissa University College attack. It was bitter sweet to say the least and it left me with a myriad of questions.

One evening as I thought and prayed, this verse stood out for me.

Psalm 94:1 (NLT)

O Lord, the God of vengeance,
    O God of vengeance, let your glorious justice shine forth!

It reminded me of the widow in Luke 18.

One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. “There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’”

Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?” (Luke 18:1-8 NLT)

God’s NOT DEAD!! If we cry out to Him day and night He will grant us justice quickly (HE said so in His word).

Visiting the ocean usually puts everything into perspective. It helps me get out of my bubble and let God give me a glimpse of the bigger picture; I’m blown away each and every time. Yesterday was no different. My myriad of questions were answered in a sitting. Some answers don’t make ‘sense’ as I would like them to, but this is where I draw the line and say that He is GOD and I am a mere human being. My mind CANNOT fully comprehend HIM and HIS ways. I simply do not have the capacity to fully understand Him, and it is okay.

kilifi bay

Since morning, I’ve had ‘Stay and Wait’ by Hillsong UNITED on repeat.

To summarize my weekend of questions and answers, highs and lows; this is my declaration:-

I will stay should the world by me fold
Lift up your name as the darkness falls
I will wait and hold fast to your word
Heart on Your heart and my eyes on You.

God of wonder and God of grace
Let my soul stand always to praise You
Fix my eyes on Your perfect way
And I’ll never look back

May it be yours too.

May you stay even when it is hard and hurts,

as you wait on the One who you can trust with your heart.

May His grace carry you and may you fix your eyes on Him,

He has the answers for the questions that you ask within.




Love is…

Nobody likes to be sick.

The most challenging part about living with Endo is that it is a pain on the inside. It doesn’t really have an outward manifestation so you cant say ‘look I broke my hand’. This makes it hard for people to understand how one can be in pain yet look okay. Over the years I have heard all sorts of things regarding Endometriosis. In fact one of them that still gets to me to date is ‘all women have painful periods so you should take some painkillers and get over it’. Yes, Eve ate the apple et al BUT that does not mean periods are supposed to be painful.

Moms, if your not so little girl says her periods really hurt listen to her and believe her. Then find a way to ease the pain and find the root cause. Don’t wait to be prompted by a complication. Yes, there are normal period pains. Endometriosis is not normal period cramps; if it were many women would not rush to the emergency room in pain. Take time to understand Endometriosis and share the information, you could help another woman.

Hug an Endowarrior. Let her know that she is not alone. Take her out for a smoothie (knowing what I know now, the coffee should be taken in moderation.) If you can go for her doctor’s appointments with her, please do. Lord knows waiting rooms are not filled with hope and joy but the opposite. (Also, don’t volunteer to take her when you are in a hurry, let’s just say, doctors rarely keep time or are called into emergencies when you are the next one in line).

Today I want to celebrate my special friend who doubles up as my hubster :). He has sat with me in hospitals for too many hours to count – man, in another life I would probably be a doctor smiling all the way to the bank. He has prayed with and for me, wiped my tears; loved me through it all even when it got ugly and I felt ugly. Hormones! never underestimate the power of these little things. They can take you down a very dark path. He has shown me that the vows ‘in sickness and in health’ can be a reality. You can choose to love in hard circumstances.

love is

You came into my life at the right time. Truly, two are better than one; when one is weak, the other can be strong. When I am weak, you are strong. I love you!

Thank you for not leaving my side.

Maybe one of these days I’ll ask him to write about Endo from his point of view :).





Lessons From My Daughter (Pt 3)

Hello :)

It is so amazing how a little person can have such a big impact on a person. A year ago, I was trying to deal with the lethargy that came with the first trimester of pregnancy. I knew that my life would change once the little one landed into my arms; I just didn’t know how much.

Being a mummy has challenged me to be better, more so, to grow deeper; to live life actively and not passively.

* Keep Trying

Don’t give up just because you failed the first time. Keep trying, one day you may just surprise yourself and hit that milestone.

Miss K has been trying to figure out how to sit by herself for a couple of weeks, because sitting supported is too boring for her ;) . Initially, she would just bob around trying to find her balance. As the days have gone by she has been gotten better at it and she is enjoying hitting the milestone.

*Bad seasons don’t last forever

My little girl is a ball of sunshine. Always laughing and smiling, she rarely cries. It was not always the case, gas and colic had given us a run for our sanity, literally . People would tell me that it would end, but I used to think to myself ‘if it will not end today or tomorrow I do not want to hear about it’. Thank God that rough season came to an end.

My takeout was that, regardless of the storm, the sun WILL shine (very brightly for that matter). It gets better, after a while. Be encouraged.

* Live. Love. Laugh

Pretty lady does not know about ‘tomorrow’ so she doesn’t procrastinate her joy, She lives each day to the full and brings 100% each day.

For a long time, I used to peg my joy on certain things happening or not happening. Now I have just purposed to enjoy each and every day. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. If it has enough worries of its own, it is also safe to say that it has enough joys of its own, so there is no need to carry forward today’s joy.

Let the ones around know that you love them. Don’t just say it but let it be your reality. From sloppy kisses to heartwarming smiles and hugs, I know that this little girl loves me.

Laughter is medicine for the soul. Through seeing K laugh I have realized that God does have a sense of humor. I mean, who teaches little babies how to laugh? We are made in His image, so that means He has a funny side. I look for the humor in everyday life, most times I join miss K in laughing, her laughter is contagious. There is already enough to frown about, so let’s find more to laugh about.

My biggest challenges come from my little person.

Here’s to trying again each and every day, not giving up, believing, living, loving and laughing.

ess smile

God bless you,



Sunshine after the rain #EndoNoMore

Happy New Month :)

March is HERE. Woop Woop.

It is a month that is very close to my heart. It is the Endometriosis Awareness Month. I was diagnosed with Endo 8 years ago and it turned my world upside down. The pain was unbearable; the emergency room was like my second home. I’ll be sharing my experience in detail in the days to come.

A couple of days ago, I had the opportunity to share my Endo story with some women and I realized that there are so many women suffering in silence. Endo is a physically painful illness but the emotional pain is what makes it even harder to deal with. This month I’d like to break the silence and stop the shame. Sometimes the shame is perceived  but most of the times it is as real and evident as a zit on your face. It may seem small to others, but when you stand in front of the mirror it seems like a little mountain is renting space on your face.

The theme colour for the month is Yellow :) Endo makes life quite gloomy BUT there is a light at the end of the tunnel. One day the Sun will shine.

My yellow accessory for today is my little ones shoes.


They are my reminder that God heals Endo!! I feel like I should say that again, a little louder this time, GOD HEALS ENDO! There are rays of sunshine after the storm. Many are the days that I cried and lamented but there is nothing too difficult for God.

In Luke chapter 1, Angel Gabriel visited Elizabeth (a barren woman) and told her that she would have a child. When she was in her sixth month of pregnancy, Angel Gabriel visited her relative Mary to give her good news as well.

Luke 1:35-37 9 (NLT)

35 The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. 36 What’s more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she has conceived a son and is now in her sixth month. 37 For the word of God will never fail.”( Some manuscripts say: For nothing is impossible with God)

Angel Gabriel told Mary that God would do something out of the ordinary for her. It would have been hard for her to believe that she would be a mother and a virgin at the same time. It does sound like something out of this world, but God displayed His power to her in Elizabeth’s life by making her barren womb conceive so that she would see that nothing is impossible for God.

To those in the thick of the Endo storm, you are not forgotten. May I be your Elizabeth, may you see through me that He is able to heal. Thought= there is no known scientific cure for Endo, our Creator is able to heal Endo and more.

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her! (Luke 1:45 NIV)

The sun shines after the rain. You will smile again and laugh from the bottom of your heart.

This month, encourage someone who is struggling with an aspect of Endo, be it the pain, miscarriages or infertility, let them know that our God is able.

Hugs and blessings,



In the spirit of love.


Such a lovely read :)

Originally posted on Lagot p'Odwong:

Until a few days ago, I was oblivious of a Ugandan guy called Richard Wagaba. However, he has got me and plenty more Ugandan girls smiling(in a good way!) Why? Because he wrote an incredibly moving tribute to the woman that holds his heart, the love of his life that we’ve all read and been enamored with.  I know I’m one of the mushiest, pillow-hearted people in the world and probably that’s why this struck a chord with me but it must be something worthwhile if my girlfriends think it’s amazing too.(Thank God for girlfriends. They showed me this article. :-) We like warm, heartfelt stories that make us laugh, cry and believe in humanity and love all at the same time)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Richard Wagaba’s book aptly titled “How to love a woman’s feet.” Prepare to get your heartstrings violently tagged at. <3

View original 34 more words


The Quest For Contentment

Happy New Month :)

What do you define contentment as?

As individuals we all have a different definition of contentment. For a long time, I used to think that I would be content when a certain thing happened. After it happened I would have a greater goal to accomplish. In my folly, I even thought that achieving contentment was a good yardstick to use to measure God’s love for me. I said in my folly :) . Yet I knew and I still know that the statement of His love for me was displayed at Calvary long before I was born. It’s rather sad how my desires made that fact seem a little hazy.

One day as I was going on and on about what would make me really content, my husband turned to me and told me that ‘I need to learn to be content in every circumstance. If I let my contentment be defined by events or achievements the source of my contentment will keep changing.’


That really left me with a lot of food for thought. I realized I didn’t know how to be content regardless of my circumstances and I had to ask God to teach me what contentment is all about because I was clearly chasing after shifting shadows.

The Secret of Contentment

Psalm 26:3 (NIV)

for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.

There is a safety in knowing that God’s love NEVER FAIL and NEVER GIVES UP ON YOU.

The secret to contentment is living in reliance on His faithfulness.

Otherwise, contentment will always morph into something else having a boyfriend/girlfriend; eventually getting married; getting a car; then getting a bigger car; owning a home and land; buying designer clothes, shoes, perfumes; having a child; and having grandchildren.

At one point you think you are satisfied but after a couple of days, you realize that you desire more.

The truth is that ONLY God can satisfy us.

Psalm 90:14 (NIV)

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be  glad all our days.

Material possessions bring LIMITED joy. The things may luster for a couple of days, weeks, months and even years then a new craving strikes.

His unfailing love brings lasting satisfaction.

Being content does not translate to getting comfortable and becoming lazy. You still work hard and achieve your goals. Being content means that circumstances do not define your happiness.  It means that you are confident in God’s unfailing love regardless of how things are panning out. It may be easier said than done, but it is such a liberating way to live. Ask Paul.

Philippians 4:11b – 13 (NIV)

for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Paul really understood contentment. His searched for it and found it. Even as life threw several curve balls is way he still remained content.

originalIf our contentment is defined by our circumstances then life will seem like a very difficult obstacle course.

Happiness comes from contentment; contentment comes from knowing God and trusting His unfailing love.

May we walk in contentment.




The Marriage Challenge

I remember planning my wedding like it was yesterday. I used to sit and dream about what I wanted on the day. Choosing the color scheme was my favorite part; because I couldn’t decide on two or three so I chose all six of them :).

Wedding planning reveals to you just how precise you can be. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder traits may rear their heads. Even those who never cared much about certain things may find themselves being quite passionate about the small details.

Then comes the wedding day, after all the planning, not much is within your control. You can’t be saying your vows and making sure the food is ready at the same time, well unless you are a super hero of sorts. On the day, you have to let go and let God (well, and the people running the show behind the scenes).

At the end of the day, you can evaluate the event, but even if the caterer failed on his part there is not much you can do. Yes, you can complain, demand for a refund and flood social media platforms with your experience, but at the end of the day if the food sucked, it sucked.

Fast forward to marriage, days turn into weeks, weeks into months and months into years. The best part is that marriage is a journey. Calculate how much time you spent planning for the wedding: reading marriage blogs, visiting wedding vendors, committee meetings, site visits etc. It amounts to quite a bit, unless of course you rocked up at the AG’s and had a short and simple ceremony.

Now think about how much time you spend setting goals for your marriage and planning action points?

A couple of days ago, my hubby and I started taking about where we want to see our marriage at the end of 2015. The conversation ended in us coming up with a small challenge that we shared with some of our married friends to do and their feedback was very good.


Discuss and write down two aspects of your marriage that you would like to see grow in 2015. Break them down in to quarterly action points.

Examples of aspects are: communication, financial health, fitness and health, friendship, time management, giving, travelling, learning new skills.

An example is:-

Goal:- To be a fit and healthy couple; to lose/gain x Kgs by the end of the year.

1st Quarter

Go for a full body checkup; exercise together three times a week; eliminate sugar/white carbs from diet

2nd Quarter

Eat out less often; try out new healthy recipes at home

3rd Quarter

Climb Ngong hills; climb Mount Longonot; climb Mount Kenya

4th Quarter

Run 10kms weekly ; run a marathon together.

Growth is intentional. The end result may seem impossible in January but the little baby steps will help you achieve it.

Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

I can do all things through him who gives me strength.

With God all things are possible. Take it a day at a time and review the action points every quarter.

Enjoy your marriage;  may 2015 not just be like any other year, may it be bigger and better. May December find you and yours at a better place by His grace.





Lessons From My Daughter (Pt 2)

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one is too young or old to teach and/or learn. Learning is more than what is taught in the classroom, it is a culmination of little lessons packed in real life experiences. As long as you are willing to learn, you will pick valuable lessons from the strangest of places.

Motherhood is my ‘strange place’ and my lil girl keeps teaching me timely refreshing lessons. It is a humbling experience to learn from one who doesn’t quite meet the age requirement of a teacher in a school setting.

1. Laugh Heartily

Lil Miss K laughs like a little grown up- you know a proper ‘ha ha ha’ laugh. It often catches us unaware but has us laughing as well. Sometimes I am slightly concerned that she thinks we have funny faces ;) or she keeps remembering a private joke about us and bursts out into laughter. All in all, I wouldn’t trade the hearty laughs for anything. They are heartwarming.

In an age where you can see something funny and respond ‘lol’ with a straight face, I am reminded to actually laugh out loud. The most important lesson is to laugh at myself. Sometimes I take life and myself a tad bit too seriously. Most of the things that I frown about are really never that serious in light of the bigger picture.

I’ve purposed to laugh everyday this year and spread the good cheer. There are so many things to be sad about but if we all shared with someone one thing to laugh about, the world would truly be a jollier place.

2. Necessity Is The Mother Of Invention

When her soother kept falling out of her mouth while she was asleep, she would feel for it and if she found it she would put it back in her mouth. Sometimes the angle was wrong but she eventually figured it out. If she wasn’t able to find it she would cry to let us know she wanted it back in her mouth as soon as possible. About a month ago,  we realized she no longer cried for help. If she couldn’t find it, she would just suck her fingers instead. Voila,  just like that she became more independent, with or without the soother the dreams would continue.

I was challenged by this little girl to INNOVATE. It is okay to sit, well…lie and cry but after a while I should try and work around the situation. I never know, I may just surprise myself and find a solution.

3. Silence Does Not Mean Neglect

Every evening there is a rush hour in the K household; it usually ends up in a relaxing bath for lil missy. Sometimes she gets a bit cranky by the time I start preparing her bath stuff, so she may want some extra TLC.

Three weeks ago as I prepared her stuff she started getting edgy and I could hear her letting me know exactly that in baby language (the tone said it all). I entered the bathroom to get something and for a minute I was silent. She got so cross and started to cry. I came out, picked her up, held her and begun to explain to her that just because there was silence for a minute did not mean that I had neglected her. I was actually putting things together for her bath. Once she was in her tub, she was as happy as a lark; she loves the water. All her worries were washed away and she understood (or so I hope) that I had not forgotten her.

When God is silent, it does not mean that He has forgotten me or neglected me. He is usually working in the background for my good. Though I don’t hear Him I can still trust that He has my best interests at heart. This is such a simple and humbling truth. I can trust His plan.

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Hearty laughs and toothless smiles from the pretty lady :)





Worrier Versus Warrior

Happy New Year! By His grace we have seen a new year.

In 2014 I was a certified worrier. I worried about many things, big and small. Being a first time mom did not make things any easier. Before the baby I was worried about the pregnancy going awry, after the baby I was worried about everything (I am not exaggerating). Constantly on my mind were questions about whether I was doing things. I wondered why babies don’t come with a manual; it really would make things a lot easier. But we’ve got to thank God for the Holy Spirit and maternal instinct.

I walked with a cloud of impending doom hanging over my head. The irony of it all was that I was too worried to pray. I guess praying about it admitted I was actually worrying and I didn’t want to be a worrier.  I lived in denial.


Worry and anxiety walk hand in hand. It doesn’t edify neither does it change the situation at hand. If anything, it focuses so much on the negative and blinds one from seeing the positive at hand or in the horizon. Worrying is exhausting. No one ever finished worrying and said ‘Well, that was refreshing!’ (Hmm that should be on an aunty acid post :-).)

Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV)

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

In 2015 and beyond, I have resolved that if I have time to worry, I have time to pray. Every time I find myself spiraling down the road of worry, I pray. It is still taking some getting used to, but praying is indeed much more refreshing. As a result the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Worry is toiling vain,
Prayer is the only thing that can move mountains.
Worry only drains,
Prayer refreshes and sustains.

By His grace, I’m no longer a worrier. I’m now a prayer warrior. Prayer changes things.

Have a worry-free and prayer filled 2015.





Lessons from My Daughter (Pt 1)

They say that when a baby is born, a mother is born too. Being a first time mom can feel very close to groping the dark. It demands that the theory you think you know is put into practice. It is a stretching process.

Almost 3 months ago, my world changed, to say the very least. A precious little one was placed in my arms and the journey begun. As a mom, I was humbled by the opportunity to teach a human being what she needs to know about the world. Little did I know she would teach me a couple of lessons too.

1. The Power Of A Smile

After several days of sleep deprivation, it is VERY easy to feel as though you are losing your mind; UNTIL she flashes the toothless smile. It is a reminder that this is ALL worth it and that it will get better.

Colic episodes are hellish, but the smile after the pain lets me know that we are in this together.

I am reminded that I should enjoy the present season and smile more. I shouldn’t let the bad episodes of life rob me of my joy or make me forget how to smile. Plus, I never know, it may just cheer somebody else up.

one smile

2. Opportunities Lie In Plain Sight

‘Curious!’ That is the best word to describe her at this stage. She constantly wants to investigate her surroundings. If it can be grabbed, she grabs it and if it can be tasted, before you know it, her tongue will be on it.

If I pay close attention to my surroundings I will identify opportunities that I can take advantage of. Lil missy is quite a pro. She is NOT about passive living; she wants to figure out what everything does, and where she fits in the bigger picture.

No more passive living. It’s time to keep my eyes peeled and seize the opportunities that present themselves.


3. Practice Makes Perfect

We are at the stage where we are developing motor skills. It is so interesting to watch her want to practice every time she gets a chance.

What are the skills I would like to build? How serious am I about practicing a little every day?

Speaking of skills, I recently picked up my crochet (partly thanks to Kenya Power and their inefficiency). I didn’t know what I wanted to do with it, but I just started crocheting, more like refreshing my memory on how to do it, because it’s been 13 years since I last crocheted.

I ended up making a head band for the litu star, no pattern. It just came to me.


I’m excited to see what else I can do if I put my mind to it. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)

Motherhood! I’ve got a long way to go. I’m glad that each passing day leaves me a little wiser than I was before. I’m looking forward to many more years of teaching and being taught precious life lessons.

Merry Christmas :) May the birth of Christ be very real to you. He is the reason for the season.




9 versus 1

I was so challenged the other day.

I read the story about the 10 lepers who met Jesus and asked Him to heal them. He directed them to go and show themselves to the priest. On their way they realized that they had been healed.

One would expect that they would go back and say a heartfelt thank you. Well, out of the ten only one ex leper came back praising God in a loud voice.

Luke 17:15-19 (NIV)

15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

After I read this story I realized that sometimes I am like the 9 lepers. I ask, receive but fail to give thanks.

I should give thanks for both the big things and the ‘little’ things.

It has been so hot in the Coast the last couple of weeks, each time I go to the mall I pray that God will give me a good parking spot that is not too far from the door and in the shade. God is so gracious, He answers my prayers, regardless of how ridiculous they seem. Initially I used to be like ‘Yay! a parking spot’. A few days later, I was convicted that it was NOT a right to get the nice spot but He reserved the spot for me. From that day, I usually say a thank you prayer every time I park.

This December, I am shifting the focus. Lord knows, I have done a lot of asking this year. Some prayers were answered in a ‘favorable’ manner, some are still in the pending folder but all in all, it’s about time that I focused my energy on thanksgiving. I have a lot to be thankful for.

My motto for the month:-

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Oh that it may be my lifestyle.

I will start by thanking God for you who has taken time to stop by and read this blog. I pray that He will continue to refresh you.



While I was away, I got a new title; mommy <3. Hence the long break. It’s been quite an adventure – mommy tales on another day :) . I am giving thanks for the toothless smiles, little hugs, baby conversations, kisses, and the blessing and precious soul that this little girl is.

It’s great to be back! Thank you Jesus for your sustenance.





Sisters By Heart

Growing up, out of my friends, I was the minority that did not have a sister. I have a brother :) He is really cool, but him being a boy meant that we couldn’t play with dolls together, have slumber parties or share hand me downs :). Instead we would graze our legs playing outside. Certain TV shows made having a sister look a bit dreamy. Though there could be another side to this ‘sister sister’ story that I do not know about.

God is gracious! Though I didn’t have any biological sisters, He gave me friends who became family. I met my first friend and sister in nursery and we are still such great friends and sisters to date. I appreciate you ma:).

courtesy of violetdaisies.blogspot.com

courtesy of violetdaisies.blogspot.com

As I was reading my bible this past week, this portion of scripture came alive for me.

Matthew 12:46-50 (NIV)

46 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”

48 He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

What an encouragement, we do not need to be relatives to be family :)

This family is not limited by nationality, tribe, and family planning constraints.

This week I choose to celebrate and appreciate the women that God has placed around me, who have  been my sisters. I really doubt that even if I had biological sisters they would be this many. Mommy would have probably had only two max, but God, He had another plan. A great plan. As a result, it has not been lonely, looking back objectively, I have not felt like I am really missing out. He has placed amazing women from all walks of life to be my sisters. I am truly grateful for my sisters by heart.

courtesy of thewallworks.com

courtesy of thewallworks.com

A special mention to my sister through marriage :) You are a gem!

This week, celebrate a sister. Let her know that she is loved and that the impact she’s had in your life has left a mark. Remind her that she is indeed precious to you.




The Peculiar Yes

An employee of a Beach front hotel was asked how often he goes to the beach to just stand in awe of God’s creation. He said that in the first couple of months of working by the ocean he would, but now, he even wonders why people travel from far and wide to see a large mass of water.

Living in Mombasa does not necessarily mean that I go to the ocean every weekend, in fact, going to the beach is like a well-planned excursion :). However it still has the great ‘awe’ effect. It is simply breathtaking; there is something about hearing the rushing waters that makes everything in me stand in awe of God.

For a couple of weeks, I felt the urge to go to the beach but I kept overlooking it. As the days went by I sensed such an urgency to go and just sit and talk to God. When I finally went, I found a nice quiet spot, settled down and started to journal and pray. One of my prayers was that random individuals would not come and talk to me, well other than the guy hawking eggs and the one selling shells it was perhaps one of the most peaceful visits I have had at the beach. Beach boys were nowhere to be seen – that is a miracle in itself. No one even directed me to their makeshift changing room :). Talk about a one in a million, well maybe one in TEN experiences…but still you get how rare it is.

As I poured out my heart to God and stared at the waves, the tears started to flow. Those were precious liquid prayers, I’m glad that they were being collected in bottles and recorded in scrolls (Psalm 56:8) . Each heart knows its own sorrow and sometimes in the busyness of life it is easy to miss out on time to just be with God and not need to do. As I was singing a song that was encouraging me to be still and know that HE is GOD, a man clad in beach shorts  walked up to me and said ‘Hi, read Isaiah 65:24’. He repeated it twice. At first I was like (in my head of course) ‘Furreal? What is it that you want? Imagine now is really NOT a good time.’ Well that was until I actually heard what he was saying and said ‘okay’. Once I agreed he continued with his walk.

As he walked away, I opened my bible and looked for the verse. When I read it, it was exactly what I needed to hear. It was such an encouragement, such a hug from above. Now the tears were flowing faster; sadness and gladness fused together. By the time I composed myself and finished my praise song to Jesus, the gentleman was long gone. I could see him in the horizon and there was no way I could run after him to say thank you.

The gentleman did not need to stop and talk to me, better still share that verse but He did. It was probably a very peculiar mission that God had sent Him on. It’s not like he left his house or hotel in the morning expecting to share the verse with a stranger (hmm, but I never know), but at the time that he was needed to be obedient, he was.

courtesy of findthepieces.com

courtesy of findthepieces.com

Sometimes, God asks us to do things that seem peculiar. Some of them are not very ‘honorable’ or part of our ‘nature’.

Saying Yes to the peculiar request, has the power to speak into a situation and change a destiny.

You may not see it, but sometimes your role is just to say ‘YES’ and be obedient and then let Him work out the details. It is a bold step of faith that in God’s time yields results.

To the gentleman on the beach, you may never read this, but thank you. You were God’s hands and feet. May He who sent you bless you and increase you.






A day late, 8:28

Have you ever felt as though God ‘missed’ the bus? or as though the bus had serious technical difficulties and as a result  He was too late to save the situation? If only He had come a few minutes, hours, days and months earlier, He would have saved the day; but the situation that was dire  two days (weeks, months, years) ago, is now on the verge of rotting.

Mary and Martha knew this feeling all too well. They had sent word out to Jesus that their brother, the one He loved was critically ill. They expected that Jesus would be there PRONTO, I mean, He was more than their teacher, He was their friend. They expected Him to be there in their hour of need. However, that was not the case. Jesus took days to come and by the time He was getting there, Lazarus was already dead, what Jesus referred to as falling asleep lol. So much for healing the sick, He had missed the healing window and now it was a completely different story.

Martha was not afraid to express her disappointment.

“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:21)

She did not let that fact deter her from believing the truth

“But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” (John 11:22)

Jesus went on to raise Lazarus from the dead. You can catch the full story in John 11.


Yesterday, was August 28th, 8/28. A date of such significance, I will explain why in a bit. I really wanted to blog about it, but I was not able to, the day got super busy. When I was speaking to God about it in the evening, He explained to me that though it was a day late, it was still ‘8:28′.

I have a dear friend who introduced me to’ 8:28′  a few years ago. For her, it’s more than a concept, it is a way of life. It is the truth about her life; her perspective of life and faith changed once she started believing wholeheartedly in the 8:28 principle. If you’ve spent a few hours with her then you will definitely leave thinking about ‘8:28’ :) .

Romans 8:28 NIV

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Basically ‘8:28’ means that because we truly and wholeheartedly love God and believe that He has called us according to His purpose we know that  He will work our EVERY single thing/circumstance for our good. Easier said than done, aye? Even in the situations that  He is a day late or altogether doesn’t seem to show up, He is still working it all out for our good.

Unless I acknowledge that God sees the bigger picture without the blind spots, I wont be able to trust His plans for me. I know this all too well. 2014 has been my year of learning the ‘8:28’ principle, internalizing it and now living by it. I have cried and found rest in His arms and His plans. This does not mean there are no curve balls along the way or turbulence in this ride, it just means that I trust His heart and His plans for me.

The curve balls are sort of like Joseph in the prison, and the shepherd in the book ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coehlo as he works in the crystal shop. These events did not seem like they were ideally part of the bigger picture, but God turned them around for their good.

So the date August 28th is a reminder of the reality of the ‘8:28’ principle. Even though the post is a day late, ‘8:28’ still remains.




Daddy’s Little Girl

Little girls long to have a special relationship with their dads. Every girl longs to be affirmed, delighted in and loved on. She longs to be told that she is beautiful and worth being pursued (when the times comes). Being a dad is not a small thing, it is a destiny shaping job; one that may not get the applause that it deserves but one that the world cannot do too well without.


dads little girl

That’s the way I look at my relationship with God. Viewing God as my Father in Heaven has really transformed my relationship with Him. I think it’s gotten a lot easier to relate with him as a father since my dad passed away. I totally trust Him. My rationale used to be that if I could ask my dad for things and not walk in doubt that he would provide, then, why should I doubt God.

Matthew 7:11 (NIV)

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

As a result it is easier for me to trust God. I don’t always make long prayers, in fact most of my prayers would not qualify as ‘prayers’ to those who have a prescribed way of praying as they are too short or perhaps, too simple. I usually just speak to God, of course with the reverence that He deserves. Once I pray I simply trust that He is able to do it.

I walk in trust. I trust the ONE I know. He has been faithful. I know that He will always come through, He will always answer my prayer. It may not always be a ‘YES’, but His grace is sufficient for me to deal with the ‘No’ and ‘Wait’. Sometimes I kick and scream and throw a mini tantrum BUT in the end, I come around because I know that regardless of how hard the circumstances seem He is turning them around for me. I trust His love for me and His will for my life.

Having to rely on the heavenly Father to ‘fill’ the shoes of your earthly father and surpass that role (seeing as He is the ultimate Father) can be hard sometimes especially when you have a clear expectation of how an earthly father is supposed to love on you. This expectation however, may be a little warped. I’ve learned that though sometimes He may not physically hug me, He sticks closer than a brother or father, he wipes my tears and he cheers me on.

I’ve been able to see God’s display of love for me all around me. Sometimes He uses people, who are His hands and feet on earth, other times He just displays His love personally. For example, a beautiful sunset on my home, or the ocean as I watch the waves crash at my feet.  He gets me! He may not be a person(human being) that I see physically, but I feel His love physically and emotionally. My relationship with Him refreshes me, I can never leave his presence the same way that I came in.

The little children grasp something that is easy to lose on the way. As grown ups it is easy to get jaded by life and unmet expectations but He desires for us to long for him like little children, to be genuinely happy to hear from Him, learn from Him and spend time with him.

It’s interesting that little children don’t mind being thrown up in the air, once they know you, they don’t have trust issues. You try asking the same children as grown ups to do the trust fall at team building challenges, then, you will see what fear looks like. Its the same thing with God, as kids we are more ‘gullible and trusting’ but once we receive a few Nos and Waits along the way, trusting God becomes a task.

For those who are unable to look at God as an inviting Heavenly Father for one reason or another, may it be a bad relationship with your dad, the loss of your your dad, or being jaded by life; I pray that you will let yourself be vulnerable with the One who is able to heal and to restore. May your new chapter with the heavenly Father bring you peace and joy.

You are never too old to be DADDY’S’ LITTLE GIRL OR SON.

For the dads, may you encourage your lil’ ones to have a relationship with their Heavenly Father, He is the only one who can truly satisfy their need for fatherly love.

I will always be


courtesy of cafepress.com

He delights in me, and, I in Him




Not Exempt

There are many times we hear stories of people in different situations that should lead us to the express lane on our knees but because we are not directly affected we just reflect later about how sad and hard their circumstances are. Case in point, what is happening in our counties, countries, and continents.

If a part of the body of Christ suffers the whole body suffers, well, at least that’s how it ought to be. I was watching the news two weeks ago, and it was the first weekend in a long time that there would not be a church service in Nineveh on a Sunday. It was sad that the place of worship that generations had called their sanctuary would cease to be a place of refuge and comfort just like that.

When I hear stories like that it’s easy for me to be like, ‘Wah, that’s so sad.’ and leave it at that, but my heart should be moved by the news. If Christians there are being persecuted then the whole body suffers. I am not exempt of persecution. I do not know where the Lord will place me in the years to come, so while my salvation in Kenya seems very secure, I don’t know what tomorrow holds.

In some situations closer to home one action may have a big impact but since it involves going out of our comfort zones we make excuses using the status quo as the basis .

That was the same thing that happened when Mordecai told Esther about the predicament of the Jews. Her response was that  it was common knowledge that unless the King invited you to his presence you could not approach him. This was a valid response but the magnitude of the matter had not yet hit home.

Esther 4:12-13 (NIV)

When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai,  he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape.”

Mordecai had to break it down to her, that her position did not mean exemption. Also, her royal position meant that she could influence the salvation of the Jews.

Esther 4:14 (NIV)

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

Our positions do not make us exempt or guarantee us safety. May our hearts be moved by the things that move the Father’s heart and may we act in accordance to His will.




Baby Making Blues

I had a conversation with a friend a few days ago about procreation and she said that she doesn’t want to have children. It was interesting because, she had reasons and even asked me why I want to have lil ones. Over the last couple of years, I have met a couple of people who do not want to have children and those who desire to have children but are having difficulty conceiving.

At some weddings, there is usually an aunt or uncle on standby to encourage the couple to have children. Soon after the wedding, the theme of all questions that you are asked is ‘when are the babies coming?’. You meet a random person on the street and the first question they ask is, ‘did the firstborn come?’ or ‘so have you named your parents yet?’ or ‘when is my son/daughter getting a playmate?’ The strangest one is when a woman (most times elderly) starts pointing at her stomach while smiling at you and you have to figure out that her question has nothing to do with hunger but everything to do with the assumption that the weight you have added is because you are pregnant. Sadly this gesture is followed by  a ‘congratulations’. o_O whatever happened to just restricting small talk to the weather, better still, to greetings.

After a few years pass, the questions intensify. People keep asking when the little ones are coming and after a while you are not so sure if ‘soon’ is an appropriate answer. Yes, sperm meets with the egg and they fuse to form an embryo, but sometimes it is not that simple. For one reason or another, they fail to fuse let alone meet.

I first heard about Endometriosis six months before I was diagnosed from a lady who was having difficulty conceiving. After numerous hospital visits, the doctor told her that the cause of the infertility was Endometriosis. It was a condition she had never heard about but one that she needed to quickly acquaint herself with.

She had gotten married into a culture that placed a lot of value on having your own children. The fact that she could not conceive had brought so much friction into her home with talks of her husband finding a second wife becoming  more frequent. It is not that her in-laws did not love her, it is just that they would have loved grandchildren more. The sex advice increased by the day, as her mother in law, a traditional woman and mother of 5, thought that the infertility had something do with technique (or lack thereof).

courtesy of trustinggodthroughinfertility.blogspot.com

courtesy of trustinggodthroughinfertility.blogspot.com

The journey of infertility is a painful one that has more downs than ups. It takes a lot to smile and to trust and hope even when everything seems bleak.  If this is your story, I pray that the Lord may encourage you and strengthen you. May He draw you close to Himself and wipe your tears. May He answer your questions, give you the desires of your heart according to His will, give you peace and love on you. In Jesus name I pray and believe, Amen.

If you know someone who is struggling to conceive, whisper a prayer for them and love on them in the way that you know how. Call them, send them flowers, give them a hug…just let them know that they are not alone.




Honeymoon Lifestyle

courtesy of balajitourtravel.com

courtesy of balajitourtravel.com

The first year of marriage is sometimes the hardest. When you get home from the honeymoon reality hits home and the first couple of months can seem like quite the opposite of bliss.

My friend Mrs O, figured out how to make honeymoon a lifestyle rather than a stage in marriage.

We met on Facebook. Yes, social media can be useful. I knew him, but he didn’t know me. Childhood insomnia for him I guess ;) . But that didn’t stop us from talking. He was miles away, so Facebook and phone calls worked for us. Then he decided to return home (Kenya) and I was ecstatic but  I didn’t want to give away my excitement too easy. We hadn’t started dating yet but we liked each other. A few movie and coffee dates later, and he asked me out.

A year later, he asked me to marry him. And seven months later, we were married. Many thought we were moving too fast, but we were each other’s answered prayer. However, it didn’t start out smooth. Many people say the first months are honeymoon months. For us, it was more of petty fights and arguing. Thing is, we weren’t used to living together. So the small things irked each one of us. He would piss me off. I would piss him off. But we eventually learned to appreciate each other’s differences. We were not the same. Our differences are what made us love each other. And once we realized that, it’s been honeymoon ever since :)

One thing that has kept us in love…is God. We pray together. But we also spend time with God on our own. Once you develop a personal relationship with God, you’ll know how to relate to your spouse. He teaches you how to love, how to care for your spouse and how to give without expecting to receive equal measure. Basically, a marriage founded on God and His principles, succeeds. Even after being blessed with a child, we still work towards our relationship.

Marriage is how you make it be. Tailor it to your needs. Just like a fingerprint, every marriage is unique.

Mrs. O :)

All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.- Raymond Hull 

Adjusting to living with someone else can be difficult and finding joy in the new living arrangement  may seem close to impossible. It may take some time to get used to, but it gets better and the honeymoon can become a lifestyle.




Endo What?

I was happy go lucky girl, well, that was until I started my menses. It was one of those bitter-sweet moments; YAY to the fact that I was not a girl but somewhat a woman but NAY for the pain. Adolescence is a rather strange phase, when you start your period, you are now a ‘woman’ but not yet an adult. If I had known that the monthly visitors would come with that much pain, I’d probably have petitioned the heavens for more time of freedom. I guess early blooming had its cons.

I remember when I’d go the school nurse to get painkillers she would draw for me the female reproductive system and begin to explain how the cramps come about. In retrospect, I think a motion image would probably have worked better than her using her hands for emphasis. Her explanation was so predictable, hmm, maybe it was because I paid her a visit several times, every month. The long story was her attempt to somehow convince me that the pain was normal, so I should (wo)man up and stop being so whiny.

courtesy of medicalterms.info

courtesy of medicalterms.info

It really made me wonder if the painful menses were preparation for the curse from the Garden of Eden, painful labor.

Since I didn’t have nausea during my menses I was made to believe that the pain was normal, in fact I was having it ‘easy’. It was just good ol’ PMS . Some women seemed to have it easier than others. However, the PMS theory begun to falter and could not explain why after a couple of years, the pain became even more unbearable. It would literally disrupt my schedule.  For instance, one day I would be walking and I couldn’t walk anymore because there was a sharp pain in my abdomen at a different time during my cycle. After months of visiting the E.R, specialists and even having a surgery that was quite useless and misguided (story for another day), I found a doctor who finally made the diagnosis.

The diagnosis was Endometriosis.

“Endo what?” you may ask…Endometriosis (en-doh-mee-tree-OH-suhs)

Well in layman’s terms, it is a condition caused by the lining of the uterus known as the Endometrium growing outside the uterus and on other organs and structures in the body.

Endometriosis is most commonly found in the:-

  • Ovaries
  • Fallopian Tubes
  • Outer surfaces of the uterus
  • Tissues that hold the uterus in place
  • Lining of the Pelvic cavity
  • Vagina
  • Cervix
  • Vulva
  • Bowel
  • Bladder Rectum

The main symptom of Endometriosis is very painful menses. These can be confused as just regular PMS, however if the pain persists, it is a good idea to seek medical advice.

Other symptoms include:-

  • Chronic pain in the lower back and pelvis
  • Pain during or after sex
  • Intestinal pain
  • Painful bowel movements or painful urination during menstrual periods
  • Spotting or bleeding between menstrual periods
  • Infertility or not being able to get pregnant
  • Fatigue
  • Diarrhea, constipation, bloating, or nausea, especially during menstrual periods

Some times there is more to painful menses than the PMS theory. If you know anyone who suffers from period pain and any of the above symptoms, please encourage them to visit a gynecologist for a check up. There could be more to it than meets the eye.



**Endometriosis information courtesy of http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/endometriosis.cfm#a**

I Can Transform Ya

“Living together is an art. It’s a patient art, it’s a beautiful art, it’s fascinating.” – Pope Francis

I love that quote.

Living together is a beautiful experience, sometimes it is easy while other times it is hard; adjusting to the changes can be a little difficult.  Being confined in the walls of your home tends to magnify the little problems and it can make the ant hills look like huge mountains with volcanoes waiting to erupt. No one is perfect and it is possible to think that you can change certain aspects of your spouse and even attempt to do it. However, this venture is usually followed by utter disappointment.

There are wives enter marriage with the notion that they have a special super power that they can engage to change what they dislike about their husbands. See the woman in the picture below :) . Some opt to fight their spouses and repeat what they dislike over and over again hoping that the nagging will cause lasting change. Many times, this just makes the home a ‘battlefield’. The ammunition is the hurtful words exchanged.

courtesy of christianpost.com

courtesy of christianpost.com

I have learned to conserve my energy and fight my battles where it matters. Fighting my spouse adds very little value, so I get on my knees and pray. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like I am doing much to help the situation at hand  but the reality is that some things are actually beyond my control. Even if i tried to change the situation, I would not be able to make a difference. So I leave the issue at the feet of the One who can do exceedingly abundantly above all I could ever think, ask or imagine. The One who sees more than meets the eye; the One who can change the hearts of men and women; the One who can truly intervene and restore what has been lost.

courtesy of zazzle.com

courtesy of zazzle.com

I’ve seen the Lord transform my home through prayer. Many times, He changes my heart and I begin to realize my heart was actually the problem and not my husband.

Don’t give up on God, cause He wont give up on you. He’s Able.


After all is said and done, it turns out that there actually is a special power. Prayer is the special super power :) It yields results. They may not be the ones that you were hoping for, but they leave you in a better place than you were before.

The most amazing thing about prayer is that you don’t have to be emotionally connected to an issue to pray about it. If you’d like me to whisper a prayer on your behalf regarding family, marriage …etc feel free to drop me a line on bibi2bee@gmail.com and I will trust God with you. He’s able.




The Good Wife

The first thing that comes to mind when I think about the good wife is Alicia Florrick. Thanks CBS :) . The title of this series was so intriguing only to realize the story line was a little different.

When you are getting married there are so many voices telling you how to be a good wife.

courtesy of s288.photobucket.com

courtesy of s288.photobucket.com

What I have learned in the few years that I’ve been married is that ‘good’  is relative. To one man, a good wife wakes up, fetches water, warms his water and takes it to the bathroom. as he showers she irons his clothes and as he dresses, she makes his breakfast. For another man, his wife wakes up at 5:30 am to cook his lunch because he doesn’t eat food cooked by anyone else and he doesn’t eat food that has been in the fridge. For another man, a good wife brings in half the income to the table and they go dutch with the bills. The list is endless.

A few weeks ago I told my my husband, that my confidence does not lie in the fact that I married a ‘good man’. He is a sweetheart who treats me really well :) . The truth is how ‘good’ a person is or isn’t will not keep them on track. Good is just so relative. It is not resolve, it is not incentive to run when the adulteress comes with her smooth words (Proverbs 7). It is just there. Instead, my peace comes from the fact  that I married a man who follows God and seeks Him and His ways. I see the power of the cross in his life. He is accountable to God before He is accountable to me.

The same applies for me, I have stopped being fixated on the ‘good wife’ label because sometimes she gets overwhelmed by life wakes up on the wrong side of the bed (sometimes even under it) and becomes a quarrelsome wife. Y’know what Proverbs says about her, aye? She is likened to constant dripping on a rainy day; a nuisance. I want to be a woman after Christ’s own heart first and a wife second. I’m accountable to God first before my husband. The fear of God is what will keep me on track ; the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

My love for Him makes ALL the difference in my love for him.

I thank God for the beautiful journey that marriage is :).