Super Woman

I met a very interesting group of ladies a few days ago. Most of them have been married for a couple of years(i.e 5 years to over 15 years). It was diversity at it’s best.

As we talked one of the ladies who has been married for more than 15 years said, the best advice that she can give to young ladies who are yet to be married or newly weds is:-

Start as you wish to continue.

She gave an example of a young lady who got married and decided that she would be the ‘best wife’ ever. She resolved that every morning she would wake up and prepare a big breakfast for her husband. She would warm her husbands water, take it to the shower and as he showers she would iron his clothes and lay them out on the bed in a way that they are very easy to wear.  As he dressed she would pack his snack and lunch. When her husband was all dressed and ready to go, he would go to the car and start hooting to let her know that she is making them late.

When this lady had a baby, she could not keep up with this routine. She was barely keeping up before, now, the lil’ one became the boss, her world literally revolved around him. He was her schedule. She tried to continue with her ‘perfect’ record but it was difficult to remain super woman.

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One day in frustration she called an older lady to tell her the woes. The older lady a mother of 5, picked up the phone and chuckled slightly. She could see herself in the younger lady, but she realized that one piece of advice or encouragement would set this young lady free.

Start as you wish to continue.

Many ladies get exasperated because they set very noble expectations of themselves, then share them with their spouses but are not able to deliver. When reality hits home that maybe they bit off a bit more than they can chew, they begin to start beating themselves up.

The rest of the ladies on the table had a few things to add:-

Delegate where you can. With a full time job it may be difficult to juggle everything. Discuss with your spouse what he would like you to do plus what you would like to do and then take it from there. It is easy to think that because you are not making a big feast for breakfast that you are not a good wife. However, at the end of the day, you need to decide what you are going to measure yourself by.

Marriage is an institution that differs with individuals. Spend time and get to know each other and take it from there.  Some things may work for your neighbor but they do not have to work for you, pick what is useful and customize the rest to best suit you and your spouse.

Enjoy marriage, it is a beautiful journey 🙂



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