In the world today, very few people would choose to be alone. The pressure to get hitched bombards you from all corners, for some, it is strongest from within. Few people desire to be alone because they think that they will be lonely. Yet, it is very possible to be in a relationship, even married and feel lonely (that is a blog post for another day).
In the Garden of Eden as Adam named all the livestock, he found that there was no helper suitable for him.
Genesis 2:20-22 (NIV)
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
Once Eve was presented to Adam, he called her the bone from his bone, and flesh from his flesh! He declared that she will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man. This explains why a man will leave his mother and father and unite with his wife and become One. (verse 23-24)
In today’s culture as a bride-to-be on the journey to the aisle, you receive a lot of information from women from different walks of life. Some bridal showers have scarred single women for life and for the soon to be wives if they do not have a sieve they are likely to be very lost and misled in their first days or even years of marriage. In retrospect, I realize that there are a few ‘tales’ i’d heard and failed to sieve.
Below is an excerpt from one of the conversations that my husband and I had early on in our marriage:-
“The world through various avenues tells women what men want and women ‘blindly’ believe them and never ask the one man that they are married to what he really wants and how she can genuinely be a suitable helper for him.”
I realized that it was possible for me to apply ‘lessons’ learned from old wives tales, yet marriage is not about being a helper to men but a suitable helper to one man, the love of my life.
1 Timothy 4:7 (NIV)
Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.
Below is an example of how applying stereotypes in marriages looks from dealing with a house help I had recently.
One morning as I was giving her instructions on what and where to clean so that she could understand what I wanted done, she interrupted me to tell me that she will clean just how she cleans at a mutual friend’s house. I was a bit taken a back because she probably does a great job at the friend’s house but it was wrong for her to assume that the work in both homes was exactly the same. For her it was not about tailoring her household services to suit my homes’ needs but just to get the job done.
The same logic applies, get to know the husband of your youth and know what he desires so that you can be the most suitable helper for him. It is not about what makes men tick, but what makes your man tick, what makes him happy and helps him live in purpose.
May you be the most suitable helper for your spouse.