*crawls back from the hiatus*
I hope you’ve all been well. That was a much needed break, it’s great to be back.
I recently celebrated my second year anniversary 🙂 It was such an amazing day just looking back on how far God has brought us. I’m amazed at how my joy and love have increased during the two years. I remember my glee during the wedding day but it hardly compares to my current joy.
A friend recently told me that when many women hear the word marriage they internalize wedding. So they plan for the big day and then wake up a few weeks after the wedding wondering who signed them up for their current reality because it was not spelled out in the ‘fine print’ of the marriage certificate.
Marriage is a beautiful journey, like anything else it takes work. It is rather interesting how people are willing to sacrifice and invest time and money in to their businesses but expect their marriages to blossom yet they put in the bare minimum. Hmm, I wonder how the same business would look if the bare minimum was put in. Marriage takes work, yes, some effort has to be put in.
I’ve been able to sum up the last two years in to 2 pearls of wisdom, both of them revolving around LOVE. These are lessons that I intend to carry with me.
1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul.
God must remain God in your life!
Married or single, His position is not up for grabs.
A man or woman cannot and should not take the place of God. In fact the notion that marriage fixes people is just skewed, that is Jesus’ job. Instead of looking to your spouse to be your everything look to the third strand that holds together your three strand cord.
The truth is your spouse cannot fully satisfy you. He or she is limited and just a human being, so it would be unfair to expect that from them.
Thankfully, if you let HIM be the center of your marriage, He leads you in the way of His perfect love.
As a woman, it is so easy to want to look to a man to be your all, to fulfill a desire much bigger than him. The truth is “Imperfection can never ‘fix’ imperfection to produce perfection.”
It would be so sad if I looked to my spouse or marriage to define me and tell me how much i’m worth or who I truly am. The Potter knows the pot’s true worth, unless you as the ‘pot’ look to the ‘Potter’ to tell you who you are, you may believe all sorts of wild allegations and become many things to many people.
Marriage is like a mirror, it reflects the true contents of your heart. If anything, once you are confronted by the truth it should lead you back to God because He is the only one that can transform your heart and lead you in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)
2. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Now read: Love your Spouse as you love yourself.
(This assumes that the you have first loved God with all you are, let Him tell you who you are and received His love for you.)
Luke 7:47 (NIV)“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
Marriage is a ministry that can leave you feeling very dry if you do not drink deeply from the source. If you have little to give you may end up feeling overwhelmed and stretched. It is difficult to give what you have not already received.
A wise friend of mine once said:
“There is no room for selfishness in marriage.”
I’ve pondered on this statement for several days, just thinking about how it actually looks in MY marriage. Marriage is about doing to my spouse what I would like him to do to me, it has nothing to do what I think he does and doesn’t deserve. It is about finding a way to love him (read: be patient with him, kind to him, not envious of him….ref: 1 Cor 13:4-8) as I would like to be loved. If I seek to love him this way and he does the same for me, there is no need for either of us to be selfish. This takes a daily resolve to make a conscious decision to love like Jesus does. At the end of the day, the fact remains: WE ARE ONE ; the more the reason to love him as I love myself.
Marriage is a humbling and rewarding experience.
With God, marriage works. I look forward to many more years of learning to love as Jesus does and being the best helper for my spouse.