Grief is strange. Sometimes you think that you have dealt with it and then it comes back and asks you ‘Who were you kidding?’. Then it feels as though you are back at scratch, hmm, maybe not, but it takes you way back; perhaps further than you would go voluntarily.
The best quote that I have read on grieving is:-
A couple of days ago we celebrated 4 years since my dad died. Leading up to the day I thought it would be just a quick ‘ ahh, wow, it’s been 4 years, already?? God is so faithful! ‘ as we share different memories et al and we would close the chapter till next year. Little did I know; on the actual day, my heart would be in turmoil.
Proverbs 14:10 (NLT)
Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.
Grief is one of those things that though you are walking together with someone they cannot fully identify with you. It’s personal, the ‘bitterness’ may vary from time to time and take longer than the ‘recommended’ healing time; so it may be hard for someone to keep up. It has various triggers, some are obvious and others not so obvious.
Thankfully, God is always up to speed, minute by minute, millisecond by millisecond. His love for you is not affected by the degree of the ‘bitterness’ in your heart.
If anything, He wants you to come when your heart is heavy. He desires to carry that burden instead and give you a light one.
Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
The greatest burdens are those that do not make it to the answer the question “How are you doing?”.
Yesterday, I carried Miss K as she was asleep and realized she feels so much lighter to carry when she is asleep. When she is awake, if she is not trying to eat my earrings or to pull my hair or top, she is reaching out for different things; the bottom line is when she is extra busy she is extra heavy.
That is the same way the heart is, when you are extra busy worrying about different things it is heavier. It is lightest when it is at rest.
May you heed the call for the mighty exchange to drop your heavy burden and pick His light one. May your heart find rest from the all battles that you fight within, and, may you find joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.