This saying is not always true though. For some, home is a place they dread to go to. Some people, come just in time for bed and leave before sunrise. While others, avoid home all together.
It is easy to shift the blame around for being unhappy and feeling unsafe at home when you are living with your family of origin. You can blame marital problems, abuse; the list is endless.
It is a different ball game all together once you get married.
Your marital home is your home away from home. A place where together with your spouse you get to set the rules and break them if you like. You take responsibility for your actions and decisions.
A safe space doesn’t just happen. It is more than the combination of colourful walls, tasteful furniture and beautiful China. It is a conscious decision made daily to make the home a safe place.
The world is brutal. Every warrior needs a place he can take off his armour, put down his sword and just be vulnerable. ( Please keep on the sword of the spirit though.)
After a couple of days of living with your spouse, you figure out what they like and don’t like. You know their soft spots and raw spots. This information is power, you are informed on how to irritate them on one hand and be a blessing on the other hand.
Leave judgment and comparison at the door. The world offers these in plenty. There is no need for an extra serving at home.
Put a guard over your mouth. The truth is that not everything you think must be said. Avoid the temptation to keep repeating yourself like a broken telephone. In the beginning it is reiteration, after a while it is nagging. In all things, speak life. There is power in the tongue. Don’t be a prophet of doom. Speak life.
Make your home inviting. Find something that makes your home homely for you. Make it a place that you look forward to going to.
”What is said at home stays at home.” Trust is an important aspect of a safe space. No one is perfect, and no one likes to have their faults announced to the public. Be a confidant.
Proverbs 14:1 (NIV)
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
Pray. Invite the Lord’s presence and wisdom into your home. Read His word and let Him show you how to make your home safe. In Him we find safety.
Proverbs 24:3 (NIV)
By wisdom a house is built, through understanding it is established.
All in all, keep Jesus at the center. In Him we find all that we need. When in doubt ask the Spirit.
If your marriage is in a dry place, may the Lord refresh it. If your home is currently a hostile place, I pray that the Lord will minister to you, heal your heart and show you how to make it a safe space.
*all images are courtesy of pinterest*