Children: They Keep Me on My Toes And Remind Me To Remain On My Knees

Hello 🙂

I’ve been a little scarce on these streets. It’s Endometriosis Awareness Month, I’ve been writing more regularly on my other blog Yellow Endo Flower, sharing about living with Endometriosis in Kenya.

As I’ve written this month, I’ve been thankful. My little girls are a breath of fresh air, full of joy. They keep me on my toes, but also remind me to remain on my knees; to have a thankful heart and keep crying out to God, because there is nothing too difficult for Him. Oh there is nothing too difficult for the Lord.

Jer 32;27

I was sharing with hubby a few days ago about how I need to ask the Lord for forgiveness, because sometimes I know that He can do all things. But other times, I doubt Him. Yet He is God! Omniscient, Omnipresent and Omnipotent. He is God. Oh how I need to surrender, seek His will and trust His heart.

As Ksena and Kyria entertain me as I write, I am reminded that there is nothing too hard for the Lord. He is God. There is no situation too difficult for Him. These girls are my reminder that He is healer. Not even Endometriosis could stand in His way. There is no mountain too big for Him. So we put our trust in Him.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
    and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
    with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
    or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
    and they never stop producing fruit.

I say Praise be to the Lord. There is nothing too difficult for Him. Don’t give up on Him.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

 

Don’t Give Up! You Can Do It.

“I can’t do it!” she exclaimed in sheer frustration.

At that moment I run to the bathroom and found her sitting on her potty, upset, saying over and over, “I can’t do it.”

As I stood at the door, A myriad of emotions flooded my heart. I was sad that the negative self talk voice was at work. I mean she is only two, don’t little humans get a bit more time without having to fight the other voices? I was determined to let her know that indeed she can and she will.

I hugged her and reassured her that she can do it and she will do it. I reminded her a simple truth, that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her.

This happened at a time when I had been reading about Moses and I could really relate with him. The negative voice had told him that he was not skilled enough to speak to Pharaoh.

Exodus 4:10 New Living Translation (NLT)

But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”

God’s response showed Moses God’s power.

Exodus 4:11 New Living Translation (NLT)

11 Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord?

When I AM sends you, go, He is behind you and He knows it can be done.

Our memory verse for the season is:

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The good news is since that day, she has been able to use the potty and we have celebrated her effort. Potty training is a work in progress, like everything in life. Sometimes we get it right, other times we don’t, but all in all, we stay the course, and choose not to give up. We celebrate ourselves because we can, and we will.

What is it that you’ve been telling yourself that you can’t do? What have you been holding yourself back from doing? Today, I urge you to examine it according to the word of God and hear what He says. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Amani Ya Juu: Live, Love, Laugh

This morning, I am dancing to this song.

One of the things that I enjoy about being in Nairobi is that there are lots of places to go with young children, that you both enjoy. When I visited in 2016, a friend told me about a place that Ksena and I would enjoy, but we didn’t get a chance to visit it then.

A few weeks ago, we finally got a chance to go to to Amani Ya Juu. It was worth the wait. The serene atmosphere was exactly what our Monday needed. It has a nice playground for children under 10, a beautiful garden and a lovely gift shop. The gift shop is something to write home about. It has beautiful handmade goods with a card attached that includes the name of the person who made it and a bible verse.

“Amani ya Juu (Higher Peace) is a training project in sewing and marketing for African women who have been affected by wars and ethnic conflicts. The purpose of this project is twofold; one is to give African women an opportunity to improve their sewing and marketing skills to provide for the needs of their families and the other is to sow seeds of peace in the hearts of these women. Wonderful hand-made and hand dyed toys and home decorations, very African with a modern twist.” ~ Kenya Buzz

Above all, the peace of God, a higher peace is there. Amani ya juu! This is a place I would definitely go to read a lovely book, spend time with God and just be. And shop:).

These wall hangings from the gift shop are serving as a special reminder to live, love and laugh this year and for the years to come.

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Acts 17:28 New International Version (NIV)

28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

If I am not connected to God I will not live, move and be as He designed me. John 15:5“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” To live the life that God desires me to live, I must remain connected to Him.

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1 John 3:16 New International Version (NIV)

16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

Love is more than the warm fuzzy feelings. Love is laying down my life for others. I had an interesting conversation with a mum a few days ago, she said parenting is all about sacrifice and I responded that you are the sacrifice. A living sacrifice, whose mind is constantly being renewed by Christ.

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Psalm 126:2-3 New International Version (NIV)

Our mouths were filled with laughter,
    our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
    “The Lord has done great things for them.”
The Lord has done great things for us,
    and we are filled with joy.

God has done great things for me. When I take my eyes off Him I start to mumble and grumble, I lose the light in my eye and forget to laugh. Yet He has filled my mouth with laughter. Ksena has been reminding me to laugh from the bottom of my heart. This year, I will laugh.

I am really enjoying this ‘Sounds of Revival film’ by William McDowell.

http://www.williammcdowellmusic.com/watch-sounds-of-revival-film//

Blessings,

Bibi2be

The Crucible Project: Where Lives Were Changed

Something amazing happens when a man has an encounter with God.

About a week ago, I attended a very interesting graduation. There were no gowns, caps and tassels. But, there were certificates awarded to the men graduating and heartwarming, inspiring stories from the ladies in their lives.

Late last year, my husband was told about the Crucible Project. Being the curious wife I am, I quickly searched for more information on the website ( Thank God for the internet). The website described the program but didn’t really give details. And I wanted details. I wanted to know that on day one they will do a, b, c, d . You’d really think that I was the one attending this camp, but in my defense, we are one :).

I’ll have you know that even now, after Peter has attended it, I don’t know much more than the website tells you. And I am okay with that. Because what I do know, is that God was there, and I can see the change.

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The graduation was simple and amazing. It was really great to hear how different men had encountered God. Better still, how the women in their lives had seen the change. You cannot encounter God and remain the same. Something deep within changes, if you let it.

It is not about the mechanics of the camp, but about the encounter that they each had. The conditions at camp were standard but the men all left with something different. The common factor is that God had met them and that encounter had changed their lives forever.

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God longs to meet with us, love on us and change us. Sometimes we need to take time out from our busy schedules and spend uninterrupted time with him. This is exactly what the Crucible Project was for these men.

To the Crucible Project team, may the Lord bless you and keep you, may He cause His face to shine upon you and give you peace. May He satisfy you with Himself and grant you grace and strength to continue serving Him. Crossing oceans to come to Kenya was not in vain, lives have been changed, for the glory of the Lord’s name.

As I write this, Miss Ky are singing to this song on repeat. Death couldn’t hold him down. There is no situation too dead that the Lord cannot resurrect.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

5 Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

It’s amazing how much I’ve learned in my three years of being a mother. This journey that has stretched me, has also, blessed me. In the moments that I thought I would break I realized something new about myself, my God; a greater level of grace.

Life is a miracle

Conception, gestation and delivery are all a miracle, hands down, God’s hand can be seen through it all. Getting pregnant is not as easy as we sometimes think, carrying a pregnancy and giving birth through whichever method, are nothing short of a miracle. I constantly marvel at how great God is, to think that the sperm and egg fused, and he knit a being, with body parts, a soul, a mind, is truly mind blowing. Watching the girls grow has humbled me, made me see God as the creator. His handprint is all over our lives as a whole. Laminin continually blows me away. Indeed it is He who holds us together.

Good health should never be taken for granted

Being sick sucks. I’m currently recovering from a flu. It was bad. What’s worse though, is seeing my girls unwell. That is so difficult. I feel so helpless, I want to carry the sickness on their behalf, but more than anything, I want them to be well. Back to their good ol’ bubbly selves. Good health should never be taken for granted. Never, ever! Health is wealth.

Sleep, oh sweet sleep, is to be savored

When my bed time reaches, I bolt to bed. No one needs to tell me it’s time to sleep. Gone are the days of falling asleep watching a movie. Sleep is a priority. Sleep is a break. Sleep is a slice of heaven on earth. Perhaps the only thing I didn’t do enough of before I had tots, is sleep. I have no idea why I was waking up so early just before I delivered Ky; if only you could sleep in advance 🙂 Sleeping in feels like Christmas, y’know, it happens once a year.  Sleep when you can!

You give what you have

You can’t pour out of an empty cup. Motherhood is servant leadership. It’s sweet and dirty, because we all know that diaper won’t change itself; it’s hard work.  It’s stretching and rewarding. Being present, emotionally, physically and spiritually, can take a toll on you. I’ve learned and I continue to learn the importance of filling my cup, spending time with God and letting Him refresh me. When I am irritable, anxious and angry, I look within. The circumstances squeeze out what is within. Quiet time with God is not optional, it is crucial. His grace is sufficient for me. His mercies are new every morning, it’s up to me to let Him fill me up.

Be present now

‘They’ll be all grown up before you know it!’ Boy, is this phrase true. You don’t get these years back, so it’s best to enjoy the different seasons of life. Change is not always a bad thing. My girls are growing, aren’t we all. I keep reminding myself to enjoy these years, because I’ll never get them back. So we will draw together, play with rattles, sing and dance and have a great time.

We have to decide to live our best lives now. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. The biggest lie is that we have time, time to make up for the things we haven’t done; time to start living later. Today is a gift, let’s live it and be all that God created us to be.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Where The Skies Are Grey

Today is a good day.

The last couple have been hard; difficult; a blur. The post baby blues have felt closer to navy blue, scratch that black. Pitch black. A big black hole, that I just couldn’t get out of. I’m not new to these dark shades, but what they encompassed these last couple of days, I was not ready for. They have shown me just how dark, dark can be. I was breaking, drowning on dry land. In a sea of sadness and loneliness. The saddest part, is drowning when you so badly want to and need to stay afloat. Struggling not to cry, battling anger, watching your appetite and milk supply diminish. Physically fine but running on Empty.

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It’s hard not having a support system. God has blessed me with a great friend in my husband, he is a star! But there is only so much that He can do and be for me. I have grieved not having the support I would like, and then found comfort in the Lord. Because what else is there to do, but accept that this is a season, as you pray that it gets easier.

Psalm 119 has been such a comfort for me the last couple of days. And this song, is the anthem of my heart.

Out of the mist I have seen His hand.

Today is a better day. I’ve smiled from the depths of my heart, I have made it to the gym. I have done something for myself. I am writing; this is huge, I’ve struggled to write three lines in my journal, the dashboard of this blog has gathered some dust.

Miss Ky is 3 months, I’m all set to celebrate this far that the Lord has brought us. She is watching me write this, encouraging me with her smiles. I am grateful for the journey that is motherhood. Even on the days that I struggle, I know that these girls are blessings from above. They are not to blame for the complexities of my emotions. After all is said and done, It is well; and when it’s not, we hold on to the hope that it shall be.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Love and Hair Chronicles

Let’s talk about love.

Love is many things, but the one thing that has a special place in my heart is, love is acts of service.

When I was a little girl, I loathed my hair being done. This led to my hair being shaved a number of times, not in a nice faded hair cut kind of way. Nah! Nobody had time for professional cut. It was a quickly done hair cut with scissors amidst tears. Not the pretty kind. But hair grows. And for that, we thank God!

My mum’s friend used to come and do my hair, it was her love language to my mum and I, though I was too sensitive to see it as that. By sensitive, I mean my scalp was sensitive and I didn’t like my hair being done (read: disturbed). My scalp is still sensitive so I avoid having my hair done in salons. And so far, so good. There are about 5 people who I let touch my head. Though once in a while, I miss being pampered, until I remember how my hairdressers live 500 kilometers away.

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Miss K, has a beautiful mane; she was born with a full head of hair. Miss Ky on the other hand, was born with a hair cut 🙂 so I had to trim her hair a few weeks ago. One of the things I had not fully thought about was how I would do their hair as they grew. When Ksena was old enough to have hair done, I realized she hated her head being touched, and I totally understood the feeling because she probably got it from me. I learned to let the unsolicited advice fly over my head. Many people had a vision for her hair, and we were still on the afro tip.

afro

Late last year, she begun to show interest in hairstyles other than afro. At first I was confused because we had been #TeamSensitiveScalp for as long as I could remember, but I had to shelve my biases and let her have her hair done. Slowly we begun to tie it up and we liked the results. Then she begun to ask if we could have a lady do house calls for her hair to be done. At that moment, I looked at with the phrase, ‘Who are you??’ running through my mind. But again, my biases needed to take a back seat.

Early December she had her hair done and it looked nice. It was decided that we’d have it done for Christmas. The week leading up to Christmas, had me looking for the stylist. Long story short, on Christmas Eve, I realized she was over booked and wasn’t coming. Cue mini panic. Because doing hair was not my thing. But life has a way of showing us that we can be and do different things at different times.

I was a little bummed she wasn’t coming, but the hair had to get done before Miss Ky woke up. I said a prayer and asked God to help me. In moments like those it is only God who can help. Half an hour later, Ksena had a new hair do that we all liked.

This verse came alive for me.

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In retrospect, maybe it’s not so bad that she didn’t come. In the midst of the mini hair crisis, I saw a side of me that I didn’t quite think I had.

Here’s to doing more things that are out of our comfort zones and trusting God to give us the knowledge we need. I am trying new things on her hair, and I’m determined to get better at doing more versatile hairstyles. Indeed, there is always of a silver lining.

With God by your side, nothing is impossible.

Blessings,

Bibi2be