Let’s Take The Tots To Jesus Part 2

I’m back with good news 🙂

Mid last year I posted about my struggle to find a place to fellowship with the girls. It got to place that I stopped struggling and decided to sit at home, also because I didn’t hear back from anyone in Mombasa.

Earlier this year, the desire to search again was reignited, so we started hunting again, but we didn’t quite find a fit for our ‘not yet three’ year old. When I was on the verge of giving up again, I prayed and told God that I would try once more and if it didn’t work out (read: I didn’t find a good fit), I was taking a(nother) long break. I wanted a sign that this was where we were supposed to be.

But God, answers prayers and He directs our paths ( if we let Him). When I went to this church, the person who greeted me said exactly what I had been asking the Lord. It later turned out that we were each other’s answer to prayer. I am in awe of the Lord we serve. I was reminded to remain obedient and allow the Lord to order my steps for the glory of His name. If we remain fluid, He will channel us where we need to go.
prov 21I don’t know how long we’ll be here and I’m okay with that. I’ve learned to live in the season and learn and grow where I am. Children’s Ministry here I come. Through this all I can see His hand, I know that through pregnancy and motherhood, God changed me. He gave me a heart for children. Who would’ve thought I’d be writing children’s books or even serving with Children.

 

Here’s to an unknown adventure with a known God.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be

 

 

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2016: Tried and Tested. Yet I Still Believe

The last couple of days have disoriented me. I’ve been too tired to cry. 2016 has been a roller coaster with really good days and some really sad, dark ones too. It’s had it’s share of trials and tests and I’ve had to keep reminding myself that this is not new.

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This December I read the Christmas story using the Advent reading plan; it was a beautiful time of reading. This verse really stood out for me.

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Some versions say, “He will be the source of our peace.” During the last couple of days, this verse has resonated with me. Life has made me feel anxious, antsy, angry, agitated. But I’ve been reminded to keep my focus on Jesus for He is the source of my peace.

A few days ago, as I put Kyria to bed, I heard the Holy Spirit ask me, ‘Do you believe?’. I said, “I believe, help my unbelief. The truth is even in the midst of the darkness, I still believe, though doubt sometimes floods my heart; I know in the depths of my heart that He is for me.

This song came to mind and it has been my declaration since.

I don’t need to see the bigger picture to believe what God says. By faith I can speak and see a thing.

I’m going into 2017 , not limited by what I’ve seen in 2016 but believing that His word is true, that there is so much that I can do. I’m believing that because He said it in His word, it settles it in the earth.

Through the trials and tests, I still believe that He is for me and I am safe in His arms. So I have chosen to give up my pride and turn away from arrogance. I’m not concerned with great matters or subjects too difficult for me. I have stilled and quieted myself in His embrace, just as a child; just as my sweet Ky is still in her mother’s arms.

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Here’s to 2017!

God  is on the throne my dear friends, here’s to many more adventures in Him and with Him.

Happy new year!!!

Thank you for journeying with the K’s and I ❤ I’m excited to see where the Lord orders our steps!!

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

Lord, Convict Our Hearts

I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage the last couple of days. Our anniversary is coming up and I have friends getting married in the next couple of days. I’ve been asking myself what my desire of God is this coming year regarding marriage.

As I prayed, I asked the Lord to convict my heart on a daily basis. To show me the things of darkness that have perched themselves in my heart, the thought patterns that do not conform to the patterns of His word, the unkind things I’ve said and done and then lead me in the war everlasting.

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Only He convicts and then leads in the way everlasting. His voice is not condemning but rather loving.

Marriage is about BEING ONE. In this day and age, being one has lost meaning. Many times it is ‘my way or the highway’ but you can’t have two people convinced they are right. There needs to be a compromise, a deal breaker. A heart softener who convicts and sets you on the right track.

The longer I’m married, I become increasingly aware that I will be answerable for my individual actions. If I don’t respond in love, that’s on me. I will stand and give an account for all my actions. By your grace Lord, may most of them adhere to your plan and loving grace over my life.

If you feel your marriage has plateaued or could be deeper and better, I encourage you to ask God to first convict you and lead you in the way everlasting. Then he can convict your spouse’s heart and lead him/her too.

Jesus is the glue that holds us together, Col 1:17. When we exclude and ignore Him we draw apart from each other.

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Marriage was designed by God. If you have questions and concerns about it run to Him, speak to Him and then listen.

It’s been a wonderful adventure the last couple of years. I want more of Jesus and more years of adventure with my  ❤

There is nothing too difficult for God. No situation too far gone for His redemption. Run to Him and allow Him to breathe life into that dry situation, according to His will.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

Unless You Go With Me, I Will Not Go

We’ve been in a different environment for the last couple of days. Miss K has been taking it very well. There are so many things to do and places to explore. It’s quite exciting for her.

As she has been curious to go to new places, she has made it clear that unless  one of her parents is taking her, she is not going. She usually comes to takes our hands to lead us in the direction, if we refuse to go, she changes her course.

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Just watching her the last couple of days has challenged me and my walk with God. It has made me ask myself how much I value the Lord’s companionship, leadership and grace.

Do I venture into an unknown territory alone, or do I wait for the One who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than I could ever think or imagine, to lead and guide me?

Does the Lord’s opinion matter to me? Does He have the final word?

I’m thinking deeply about these questions and asking the Lord to search every area of my life and show me if there is any that I have not completely surrendered to His leadership. That He may lead me in the way everlasting.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

 

 

When Life Happened

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“Why is it so cold?

Where is my baby?

Is she okay?

I’m freezing in here.”

September 30th 2014 at 5:15pm I woke up from what seemed like the longest nap asking these questions. So relieved to be alive; cognizant of the fact that not everyone makes it back to this side alive.

Overwhelmed by emotion, I lay there looking disheveled, as though life had happened. Hold up! Life had just happened. The resident of my womb had just been evicted and my body was shaken. It had been a lovely host environment for the last nine months.It adapted and stretched to accommodate the little one, and just like that she was out. I felt happy but oh so empty, my extra heartbeat was now living out of me; what a strange feeling that was.

I was still high on the anesthesia and exhausted from laboring for twelve hours only to be told ‘I am so sorry. You are still 6cms dilated. It is cervical dystocia’ . Honestly, I have never been so terrified in my whole life. I was all set for a normal delivery, I even had my sitz bath all set up in my bathroom before I left for the hospital. I was in too much pain, with the contractions back to back to try and understand what the doctor meant by ‘dystocia’.

I was all walked out. I mean I had bounced on the yoga ball for so long. I closed my eyes and I could still feel the buoyancy, reminded me of being in the deep sea; floating – no strength to swim or fight the waves. Tired of waiting for someone to rescue me. I was all cried out, beat, frail and so afraid.

When I saw my little girl, sheer unprecedented joy flooded my heart. I was a mother, me, yet I wasn’t so sure I had figured out this thing called adulthood. Now someone would look up to me and call me mummy? Where was my mummy? I needed MY mummy, and a little girl needed her mummy, she needed me.

My birth partner, who had arrived right before the ‘cervical dystocia’ announcement, did what I consider one of the best things ever; she brought the baby and taught me how to latch her to my breast. I really do thank God that we figured out how to do it on our first try. The sensation was weird to say the least. My breast was not used to being sucked like someone’s life depended on it. Yet, here we were, it needed to toughen up and adapt to the new role.

Here I am, ten months on. I am so grateful that life happened. It has not been in a walk in the park, we’ve had our fair share of challenges including postpartum depression but it has been the best adventure yet. My daughter turned my life upside down and inside out. She has made me question many things that I considered truth. I have had to re-evaluate my values and myself, figure out what I truly believe in, the legacy that I want to pass on to her.

I have probably never been so sleep deprived but neither has my heart been so full of love. She has taught me little life lessons. What do you know, ten months down the line and another baby doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Divine amnesia.

Beautiful, life changing, magical memories are made when life happens. Yes sometimes, life knocks the wind out our lungs, but we bounce back. Truly we are much stronger than we think. Life throws curve balls our way and we swing our bats like never before and make that home run.

My life changed when life happened. Boy, am I glad it did. Here is to more adventures, more laughs, more tears and more unprecedented joy.

Life happened. I survived. I continue to thrive.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Chasing Donkeys And Finding Annointing

Sometimes God asks us to do things that seem very boring, like finding donkeys. Some of which are not as cute as Donkey from Shrek, and, no, Eddie Murphy does not talk back to you when you meet them.

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Courtesy of en.wikipedia.org

Let me tell you a little donkey chasing story.

There was a rich and influential man called Kish the father of Saul. One day, he woke up and found his donkeys missing. He called his son Saul and asked him to take on of his servants and go look for his donkeys. After travelling through the country of Ephraim, the land of Shalishah, the Shaalim area and the entire land of Benjamin, they still couldn’t find the donkeys anywhere.

When they entered the land of Zuph, Saul told his servant that they should head back home, as his father would now start to worry about them more than the donkeys. His servant convinced him that they should go see the man of God so that he could point them in the right direction. Saul was a bit hesitant because they did not have anything left to take as a gift for the servant of God, but the servant had one silver coin that they could give him.

On their way they met some young women who pointed them in the right direction. As they walked in to the gates, God reminded Samuel of the message He had given him the previous day. He had said that “About this time tomorrow I will send you a man from the land of Benjamin. Anoint him to be the leader of my people, Israel. He will rescue them from the Philistines, for I have looked down on my people on mercy and have heard their cry.” When Samuel noticed Saul, the LORD said, “That’s the man I told you about! He will rule my people.”

When they reached the gateway they met Samuel and asked him if he could direct them to the seer. He told them that he was the man of God. He directed them to go up the hill ahead of him to the place of sacrifice and that they would eat together.The next morning,  he would tell them what they wanted to know and send them on their way. He asked them not to worry about the donkeys that were lost three days ago for they had been found.

Samuel explained to Saul that he and his family were the focus of Israel’s hopes. Samuel gave him the seat of honor and the finest cut of meat, both of which he’d set aside for him even before he invited the other guests. Saul spent the night at Samuel’s house and the next day, Samuel anointed him at the edge of the town.

You can read this story in detail in 1 Samuel 9.

As I read this story, God just reminded me how many times He asks us to go on seemingly boring journeys looking for ‘unimportant’ things. It is easy to refuse and not go, but if we don’t go we could miss out on our anointing.

While on the search, it can get discouraging. Instead of giving up and heading back home, we should press in and see what God is saying right and figure out what He has in store for us.

The 8:28 principle is the truth.

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Even as God sends you out on donkey chases, remember that He is working all things out for your good. He loves you.

So, get up and chase those donkeys, do not get discouraged, your anointing could be waiting for you.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be

Where Feet May Fail

At the beginning of the year, I was so clear about my mini ‘theme’ for the year. It was based on this song:-

I had such a conviction that God wanted to take me on an adventure, then I got comfortable. Or rather, absorbed in my own life – struggling to find the balance between all the roles that I play. I must say that these things were all noble but I began to live in active disobedience in the name of wanting to see the big-picture. Whatever that means really. Seeing as I wouldn’t be able to achieve the ‘big picture’ in a day. Desiring to see the big picture before I move revealed the real status of my heart. I had trust issues, serious ones at that.

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He has never failed me. I may have perceived circumstances in a negative manner while still in the process but at the end, God showed me His hand and heart in it all. Yes, there were trying times but he didn’t let me sink. Yes, I have ‘unanswered’ prayers that have sometimes made me wonder if He still cares even about the small big things in my life; the ones that seem small to the world but seem humongous to me. I know that He cares for me.

About my adventure, a few weeks ago I resolved to just do it. The truth is that there is only one God in this relationship, AND, if I can trust Him with some aspects of my life I should be able to trust Him with the whole of it, and follow His directives in every aspect.

This portion of scripture keeps me going.

Matthew 14:25-31 (NIV)

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said,“why did you doubt?”

My take outs are:-

1) The adventure is personal.

It’s not a group venture. If it was, the rest of the disciples would have been walking with Peter. It is Peter who desired to take the adventure to walk on water.

2) Obey Immediately

Peter responded to the invitation immediately. He could have said that He would try on their way back, but he heeded the call immediately.

3) Keep your eyes on Jesus

The wind will blow that’s for sure. The waves will rise but He is Lord over them all. Once you take your eyes of Him you begin to sink. Not because you couldn’t make it but because you doubted.

4) We live by Faith

We live by faith and not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

If we wait to see the bigger picture we will miss out on living the life that God has set aside for us.

Here I am with renewed resolve to walk upon the waters where feet may fail.

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Blessings,

Bibi2Be