Bubbles In Her Belly

She swayed her legs like a little girl whose joy bubbled from her belly, though she was well over Fifty, the little girl in her was present. As she lay on her belly, she was lifted, her being leaped with joy. Her hair up in a bun, as her pen stroked the pages beneath her nose. She started slow as she looked around but once she got into it, she didn’t look up until she was done. The words came flowing, like water gushing through previously dry pipes. In that moment, the world stood still, she had found quietness in the midst of the activity around her, a moment of silence; she was on a date with herself, sorting through her thoughts,  finding clarity.

I smiled as I looked at the lady, her peace was palpable. The busyness of her surroundings did not affect her, she was constant even as the weather shifted. She was. The winds blew but she lay still.

Her image has replayed in my mind over the last couple of days, I’ve had a series of what feels like 26 hour days, where it is only by the grace of God that I’ve been able to balance all of the roles I play. As I’ve been immersed in my surroundings, answering to the ‘Mummy’ and ‘Mama’ calls from the girls, I have craved silence. A time to be still, to hear beyond the noise and then move and be present in the movement.

I went for a reading workshop a few days ago and one of the activities that the teachers do with the children is teach them how to be active listeners. They blindfold them and ask them to listen for a minute and say the sounds that they’ve heard. I tried it, and I loved the result. Sitting there and listening showed me that there are things I don’t hear when I am fixated on one thing and running from one thing to the other. In the silence, you celebrate diversity, you identify sounds that you’d not have picked up.

Yesterday I read a devotional online that highlighted Psalm 46:10,

He says,

“Be still, and know that I am God;

    I will be exalted among the nations,

    I will be exalted in the earth.”

Stillness precedes knowledge.

This hit home for me, it’s difficult to know God as you run around like a headless chicken. When you still yourself, you hear things beyond your environment, then peace and joy can bubble to the surface from the depths of your belly.

The Valkyries by Paulo Coelho has been such a heartwarming read in this season, as I search for stillness and practice the art of listening first before I run. It makes a great difference when you listen before you act.

Here’s to finding quiet, pursuing stillness in the midst of the chaos.

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Rushing Wind

After an hour of chaos – screams, squeals, and cries- silence fills the air. It almost feels foreign, sometimes I count down to bed time, and then when they are both in bed, I miss them. I know, I too shock myself. My feet lead me to their room to watch over them and pray for them, there is something so therapeutic about watching sleeping babies lay.

When I held Ky in my arms, my being slowed down and enjoyed the rhythm of her chest heaving and I started singing a song out of the blue.

 

Like a rushing wind
Jesus breathe within
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

Like a mighty storm
Stir within my soul
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

(Hillsong -I Surrender)

Since we got back home a few weeks ago, the girls love to slow down where we are and fall asleep, there in the stillness, they find peace and are able to enter rest. A few days ago I realized that proximity brings safety. The verse, “Draw near to me and I will draw near to you.” made a lot of sense.

As we draw closer to the Lord, we feed off His peace, His tempo becomes our tempo and His Spirit edifies our Spirits. Our hearts and beings can only truly find rest in Him.

Sometimes I don’t have the right words to say, but I know that all that He requires of me is to just come.

Peace is Our Default Setting.

A  friend of mine recently reminded me a life changing truth that made me re-evaluate how I start my day.

To me the beginning of the day determines the rest of the day. So I have rules: I never wake up in any anxiety, of absolutely anything: Money, no money, clean or dirty, done or not done. Nothing can raise my blood pressure of anxiety level in the morning. It took me years to get to this point, I had to get sick to get it. If there is anything that raises your heartbeat, remove it, try, make an attempt, make an effort, eventually, you will get there

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once you reach it you will breath deeper, your cortisol level will balance out, you will loose weight, your blood pressure will level out, you will be able to look at things from the distance, you will be able to see more, you will be able to enjoy your life and you will become better person over all. There is always tomorrow to clean the dishes, and if there is not, then not a big deal when you leave them dirty, but if the tomorrow is not there to make up for lost time with you or your loved once, the loss is greater.

As I read this, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that chaos is not my default setting, peace is. I need to learn how to value it above all else. There are things that increase anxiety in my life, and in turn disrupt my peace. But I need to realize that peace is valuable, peace is Jesus’ gift to me. It is my little piece of heaven on earth.

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Worry and anxiety do not produce good fruit. Peace is crucial for my overall well-being. How I  start my day has an impact on the rest of the day.

I have decided to take some time every morning and be still, not think about anything that causes me to worry, remind myself what peace feels like. And strive to maintain that state of being. In this moment, I remind myself and every situation that disrupts my peace by causing me to worry, that He is God.

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This means that, there is nothing too difficult for Him. He knit me in my mother’s womb, He knows all about me and loves me the same.

I refuse to let external forces disrupt my peace. Sometimes I fail at this, but I have a new found resolve to let the peace of God reign in my heart and mind. So, every time that I feel anxious I will remind myself that God longs for me to experience His peace that surpasses all understanding instead.

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What is it that causes you to feel out of balance?

Do you value peace over chaos?

This is my prayer for you:

May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you his grace and peace. 2 Corinthians 1:2

Blessings,

Bibi2be

P.S I f you would like me to stand with you in prayer, send me an email via ess@bibi2be.com