Hello Fear! Goodbye Fear!!

I’m so fed up of being afraid!

I’m yet to see good fruit that fear has borne.

April 2011 is when I started listening to this song on repeat.

A few days after my dad passed away I was gripped by fear. I was afraid of the dark, because every time I lay my head down I saw his corpse. I was afraid of dreaming, because I didn’t know how my dreams would be without him. I was afraid of the grande and mundane. So when Kirk wrote this song, it was for people like me. Those who are prisoners, trapped and disabled by fear. Alive but afraid.

Fear has become a norm in society. Even the ‘safe’ cartoons have episodes where they teach children to be afraid. Last week, hubby had to put off the t.v because every episode was an ‘introduction to fear’ class. Fear has become normal, many social platforms that I read from have normalized fear, honestly, after reading some comments, it’s possible to question if you really want to walk into a certain season. For example childbirth and raising children: subconsciously I found I’m afraid of labour, delivery, colic, tantrums. The truth is I’m afraid even though I have not experienced these things; when the time comes for me to go through them, my experience will be void of the joy and wonder.

It’s good to be informed but not bombarded with fear.

We are a society devoid of truth. We’ve accepted the fear and lies as our truth. So we have many people walking bent in to two because they are carrying burdens and expectations that are:

a) not real

b) not theirs to carry

They are paralyzed by fear.

Fear and anxiety have been cruising through my heart for weeks, today, I woke up tired. It’s been coming for the last couple of days, but today! Nah, today was IT. So earlier this morning, I sat down and wrote a list of the things that make me anxious and afraid. And I prayed over the list. Asking God to show me His truth and give me His peace that it may guard my heart and mind in Him.

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I want truth. Truth above all else! I want to experience His fullness and grace. I want to enjoy the rest in good pastures (Psalm 23) and enjoy the pleasant land and wonderful inheritance that He has given me (Psalm 16).

For today and the days to come, I refuse to be a slave anymore, to carry burdens that aren’t mine to carry. I choose freedom. I choose truth. Truth above all else.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Get Up And Soar

‘Excuses are lies wrapped up in reasons’- Howard Wright

This definition of excuses hit close to home. I had not thought of excuses as lies; I used to make them and hide behind them. At some point my excuses had become so convincing, they even resembled truth. I had internalized them and become them.

My most recent excuse revolved around the fact that I didn’t feel like the conditions around me were ‘condusive’ for my leap of faith, read: ‘comfortable enough’, to do what God had asked me to do. The truth is, Jesus didn’t promise ‘perfect and comfortable’ conditions to live out His purpose. In fact, John 16:33 says that we will face many trials and sorrows:

TRIALS AND PEACE

It doesn’t say might or could have trials and sorrows, but will have many trials and sorrows. What He does promise though, is His peace. His peace that surpasses all understanding. His peace that is perfect.

Isaiah 26:3 New Living Translation (NLT)

You will keep in perfect peace
    all who trust in you,
    all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

He doesn’t promise perfect external conditions, but He promises perfect internal conditions, if we trust in Him and keep our thoughts fixed on Him.

I have made a resolve within myself to get up and soar. To let God mount me on wings like eagles. To do that which He created me to do by His grace, for His glory. For so long, I have wearied myself with excuses, but I will run to Him to refresh me.

Isaiah 40:31 New Living Translation (NLT)

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint.

There is a popular saying used to motivate people to get out of their comfort zones. Do it afraid. I like this one by Joyce Meyer:

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It’s okay to start without all the answers; as you get up, hold on to these promises

1 John 4:4 New Living Translation (NLT)

But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.

2 Timothy 1:7 New Living Translation (NLT)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

What if you lived out your purpose fully?

What if you were all you were created to be?

What is standing in your way?

Get up and soar, beloved. You were created for greatness; greater heights. Soar!!!

Have a blessed week,

Bibi2be

It No Longer Holds Power Over Me

‘It no longer holds power over me!!’

I have longed to say these words out loud and actually mean them from bottom of my heart for such a long time.

Five years ago, I was crippled by fear and the voices in my head paralyzed me. As the days have gone by, I have realized that what I perceived as my reality was a very skewed version of the truth.

The Perfect Light

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I was watching Pingu with Ksena two night ago, it’s a favorite in our household. It has many life lessons.

In this episode, Pingu and his sibling were scared of a shadow. What it looked like and what it was in real life were world’s apart. However, the fear, anxiety and confusion were very real and tangible. They were terrified, they couldn’t sleep, their peace was gone.

When insufficient light hits an object it skews how it appears in real life.

When God’s perfect light fails to hit a life experience it skews how it appears. As I have processed death, depression, suicide and grief on inadequate light for years, I have picked up baggage that was never mine to deal with. I have been paralyzed by fear and crippled by shame and guilt. Feeling like I was responsible for his decision, yet I wasn’t. I have literally fed myself self defeating lies that have robbed me of the experience of fullness of life. For too long, the story of depression and suicide held power over me. But, as I begun to ask God to show me His truth, reveal His version, I have found freedom. Freedom to be all that God created me to be. Freedom to love and laugh, freedom to dream and forgive myself. Freedom to speak up and encourage others who have been crippled and paralyzed by fear.

I have found my feet again. I can confidently say that IT NO LONGER HOLDS POWER OVER ME. Hallelujah !!!! 🙂

My prayer is that you will see everything that has terrified you in the dark in the perfect light of Christ. That the things that have held you captive for weeks, will be revealed to you from God’s perspective of truth. That you may experience freedom and life in abundance. In Jesus name we pray and believe, Amen.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Staying afloat in the deep

I’m currently reading ‘The Confident Woman’ by Joyce Meyer. It is such a fantastic read, a life changing book. I know I’ll refer to it a couple of times in the next couple of days.

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The myriad of emotions elicited upon the realization of God’s plans for my life can be paralyzing. Many are the times I have felt as though I am in WAY over my head.

In the midst of the panic and mixed emotions, I have realized, it is really foolish to panic as God leads me into the deep. Even in the shallow end, He was still the one anchoring me.

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I am quickly learning that He is God of the whole pool; both the deep and shallow end. I wouldn’t be standing in the shallow end without Him. I am God sufficient.

”Ofcourse, life can sometimes make us feel like we’re in over our heads, but the reality is that, without God, we’re always in over our heads.

For example, a little three-year-old girl felt secure in her father’s arms as Dad stood in the middle of a swimming  pool. But Dad, for fun, began walking slowly toward the deep end, gently chanting, ‘Deeper and deeper and deeper’, as the water rose higher and higher on child. The girl’s face registered increasing degrees of panic, as she held all the more tights to her father, who of course, easily touched the bottom. Had the little girl been able to analyse her situation, she’d have realized there was no reason for her increasing fear. The water’s depth in ANY part of the pool was over her head. For her, safety anywhere.In that pool depended on her Dad.

At various points in our lives, all of us feel we’re getting ‘out of our depth’ or ‘in over our heads’. There are problems all around: a job is lost, someone dies, there is strife in the family, or a bad report comes from the doctor. When these things happen, out temptation is to panic, because we feel we’ve lost control. But think about it – just like the child in the pool, the truth is we’ve never been in control when it comes to life’s most crucial elements. We’ve always been held up by the Grace  of God, our Father, and that won’t change. God is never out of His depth, and therefore w as safe when we’re in life’s ‘deep end’ as we were in the paddling pool.” (Meyer,2007,12)

What are you panicking about? Where is God calling you deeper? Are you heeding the call or hiding?

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He is God either way, all the way. May you be reminded of His omnipresence, unfailing love and never ending Grace as He leads you deeper and deeper.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Meyer, J (2007).The Confident Woman. London:Hodder & Stroughton