The Bubbles Of Life

“MAMA, blow bubbles”

“Pleeaassseee”

I hear these two sentences in that order, every other day. Ksena loves bubbles. And playing. And bubbles. Blowing them, bursting them, seeing them.

ddd5395b0a1a3b416afdfd470d938686

She spots opportunities all around her to have fun. The most mundane thing can be a toy. Discovery through play is her forte. She knows how to live in the moment. 

She remembers things she did and saw over 5 months ago. If it made her happy, she will tell you about it for days on end. It is so precious how she remembers the little details that are often forgotten.

The other day, I realized that she doesn’t repeat things that made her sad. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t get sad or hurt. Once the grievance is sorted out, it is forgotten. At a tender age she has understood forgive and forget. Love keeps no record of wrongs.

love keeps no record of wrongs

I was so challenged. Questions flew through my mind: do I forgive easily? Do I forgive but hold a grudge? Do I carry a record of wrongs in my heart? Do these things stop me from enjoying the bubbles of life?

I know that she is still young, but the joy in her heart is breathtaking. I can only pray that she will always choose to travel light; that she will forgive easily, keep no record of wrongs and enjoy the simple pleasures in life; bubbles.

Oh my heart, I pray that you will learn from this little one.  Forgive easily, keep no record of wrongs, and enjoy the bubbles of life.

Does your mind re-play happy memories? Are the situations where you’ve been wronged on loop in your mind? Do you struggle to enjoy the bubbles in life?

f16016badf7253af4a20dec829ddb1f1

Oh I pray that you too will experience the freedom that comes from traveling light and enjoying the bubbles of life.

Have a blessed week.

Bibi2be

Advertisements

I Found Peace

images (16)

I struggle to hear these words in the face of adversity. All I want to scream back is  ”it is NOT well right now”.

You can imagine how many ‘it is wells’ I heard after dad died. I knew one day it would be well, but right there and then, life was many things apart from well. I needed space to feel the emotions but constantly received the ‘Be strong for….’ advice. So here I was stuck in between it not being well and exuding strength I lacked.  Quite a difficult balance to strike.

It’s easy to get sucked up in being strong for others and forget that you need to feel the emotions and be once in a while. Just because you hide the emotions does not mean that they are not there. One day they will come closer to the surface and you will be forced to deal with them (or stuff them deeper and repeat the cycle).

I’d found a way to be strong, I would avoid all conversations that required being real. So I literally avoided Peter, I’d want to be in the same space with him but avoid him. It’s quite ridiculous looking back, but he persevered.  Thank you ❤

A few weeks after the burial, I got to do something for myself, I went on a short road trip to a near by lake. Lake Oloiden.

There I made peace with myself, God and my dad.

I forgave myself for the things I thought I could have done or said better. Such sweet release. I felt free.

I was able to forgive my dad for leaving the way he did. I wept tears of bitterness, hurt, disappointment.  Forgiveness was necessary for me to move forward. Peace engulfed my heart.

I asked God to embrace me and comfort me. I released my negative emotions regarding the whole situation, God not saving him as I thought He would. I asked for His forgiveness. Then I received peace. Not as the world gives. His peace, His divinely sweet peace.

76b86e1a1aff99776d8ac69e120423e2.jpg

I asked the Lord to be my father. I had just lost my physical representation of a father and there was a huge gap in my heart, in my life. This begun a beautiful adventure in my walk with Him. One of total surrender. Oh how I wish I had known Him as my ultimate father in every sense of the word when dad was alive. God is my father.

Dad’s death shook me to the core. It made me question many things including my existence and identity. But God. God SPOKE to me and LOVED on me. I am whole, I am loved, I am His.

After finding peace, I knew this is right where I wanted to get married. The scenery and presence were exactly what I wanted surrounding us as we exchanged our vows. He was there.

What is causing your heart turmoil?  Get away, lay your emotions on the table, take them to the cross and make peace with yourself, God and other parties involved.  The bitterness and unforgiveness could be what is holding your from living your best life now.

Have a blessed week ahead,

Bibi2be