I’m so fed up of being afraid!
I’m yet to see good fruit that fear has borne.
April 2011 is when I started listening to this song on repeat.
A few days after my dad passed away I was gripped by fear. I was afraid of the dark, because every time I lay my head down I saw his corpse. I was afraid of dreaming, because I didn’t know how my dreams would be without him. I was afraid of the grande and mundane. So when Kirk wrote this song, it was for people like me. Those who are prisoners, trapped and disabled by fear. Alive but afraid.
Fear has become a norm in society. Even the ‘safe’ cartoons have episodes where they teach children to be afraid. Last week, hubby had to put off the t.v because every episode was an ‘introduction to fear’ class. Fear has become normal, many social platforms that I read from have normalized fear, honestly, after reading some comments, it’s possible to question if you really want to walk into a certain season. For example childbirth and raising children: subconsciously I found I’m afraid of labour, delivery, colic, tantrums. The truth is I’m afraid even though I have not experienced these things; when the time comes for me to go through them, my experience will be void of the joy and wonder.
It’s good to be informed but not bombarded with fear.
We are a society devoid of truth. We’ve accepted the fear and lies as our truth. So we have many people walking bent in to two because they are carrying burdens and expectations that are:
a) not real
b) not theirs to carry
They are paralyzed by fear.
Fear and anxiety have been cruising through my heart for weeks, today, I woke up tired. It’s been coming for the last couple of days, but today! Nah, today was IT. So earlier this morning, I sat down and wrote a list of the things that make me anxious and afraid. And I prayed over the list. Asking God to show me His truth and give me His peace that it may guard my heart and mind in Him.
I want truth. Truth above all else! I want to experience His fullness and grace. I want to enjoy the rest in good pastures (Psalm 23) and enjoy the pleasant land and wonderful inheritance that He has given me (Psalm 16).
For today and the days to come, I refuse to be a slave anymore, to carry burdens that aren’t mine to carry. I choose freedom. I choose truth. Truth above all else.