I’d Like A Double Portion Of Grace, Please.

Psalm 121:1 has become one of favourite verses since I became a mum. Sometimes, the farthest I look up to is the ceiling fan as I wonder where my instantaneous, sanity saving, tongue-holding help is coming from. Then I remember from the Lord who made heaven and earth. And proceed to call on heaven, FAST.

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That’s the life of this mother. So many times my natural allocations of tolerance and grace run very low.

But God!

I’ve seen Him recharge and refresh me day after day. I’m not super woman, in fact sometimes all I am is super stretched. BUT, by His grace and power, I have supernatural strength and grace to face today.

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My prayer for today and all subsequent days, is that heaven would grant me a double portion of grace to keep me going.

The LORD bless you, and keep you. The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you.(Numbers 6:24-25 NKJV)

Have a grace filled day.

Bibi2be

Celebrating 200 Posts!!

I wrote my 200th post yesterday *happy dance*

I don’t think it hit me how big it was, but as I settled in to bed last night I realized it’s 200 POSTS!!!

LOOK AT GOD!!!

When I started Bibi2be, I didn’t have it all figured out but I knew I needed to start writing, so I did. It was my step of faith into the unknown, where feet may fail. Through the years, I have seen God carry me.

It’s not merely about the 200 posts but the revelation, inspiration, emotion and prayer that has gone into each and every one of them. The journey has not been easy, I have questioned God, wrestled Him even. Thrown in the towel a few times, then picked it up a couple of days later; thrown toddler like tantrums and learned to obey. I feel like I should say ‘learned to obey’ one more time just for emphasis.

I have grappled with sadness, depression and experienced such joy!! I have learned to love and be loved. What to hold on to and when to let go. I have grown in God and my love and desire for Him has increased.

My love for writing has come alive. I didn’t think I could write a book, but this process has shown me that I can write as many as the Lord leads me to write.

I’m still learning to live and be all that He created me to be.

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These 200 posts are my testimony that God is God alone. He is constant. He is faithful. He is God.

This blog has given me an audience beyond Kenya’s borders. I’m humbled. All this is for His glory.

The plans I may have had have wilted in light of God’s plan for Bibi2be. And it is okay.

I remain convinced that He is still coming for His bride. Oh that we may be found ready, with oil in our lamps.

I don’t know what the future holds and quite frankly I stopped worrying about it because each day has enough worries of it’s own. However, I am convinced that this is just the beginning.

This is to greater heights through and in Him. My desire is that it’ll be said of me , ‘God is the wind beneath her wings’.

I pray that as you continue to seek God you will find Him. May He give you a hunger for Him that cannot be sated by anything else. May His peace, His perfect peace, guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

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Take the leap. Heed the call. Walk upon those waters.

I’m off to celebrate the Lord’s goodness, grace and mercy over my life. This is one for the books.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

Motherhood Has Taught Me, Once Again, That God Answers Prayers

I’m so blown away by God’s goodness.

A few weeks ago, I was a very stressed and weary mama. Ksena wasn’t sleeping very well which meant I wasn’t sleeping very well either. I was also wondering how I would wean her off breastfeeding without the option of shipping her off to her grandmother’s house for two weeks.

A little background, she used to sleep beautifully until we hit a sleep regression in her first year then things went haywire. We tried all methods of sleep training but they weren’t quite successful due to other compounding factors beyond our control. So sleep was a real prayer request in our home.

I never had a problem with breastfeeding or milk supply but weaning was so stressful. I shudder when I think back. That she eats now and even asks for food by saying ” I’m hungry” or ”tummy is hungry” is a miracle in itself. I have cried tears because she wouldn’t eat, but God; He showed up and her appetite is a testimony of His Grace.

So back to the current situation, as we were away from home for several weeks, I knew things needed to change once we got back home; but God needed to come through I’m order for the changes to happen.

I needed to sleep train her and wean her off breastfeeding. The first day, I kept repeating God’s truth to her,  ”Ksena can do all things through Christ who strengthens her”. I told her that though self soothing was difficult she could do it because God was with her.  Every time she heard the verse, she calmed down. God’s word has power!!!

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In four days she was sleep trained and weaned off breast feeding completely. It’s been a while since I’ve slept so well. I can change the world. When she wants to sleep she walks up to me and says ”Mummy , I’m tired”.

A few days ago, I told Peter that many times we don’t live in abundance because we have forfeited our power in Christ. As I’ve been reading ‘The Power Of A Praying Parent’ by Stormie Omartian, I’ve realized that when I spend time in His presence, His power is released. I desire for this power to be released in every aspect of my life.

This week, I’m working on my master prayer list. Asking the Holy Spirit to write with me, that I may be intentional about praying for the big and small things that worry and wear down my heart.

If your heart is weary, I pray that you will find rest in Christ. Nothing is too difficult for Him, you can trust Him with all the desires of your heart. In Jesus name we pray and believe, Amen.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

I Found Peace

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I struggle to hear these words in the face of adversity. All I want to scream back is  ”it is NOT well right now”.

You can imagine how many ‘it is wells’ I heard after dad died. I knew one day it would be well, but right there and then, life was many things apart from well. I needed space to feel the emotions but constantly received the ‘Be strong for….’ advice. So here I was stuck in between it not being well and exuding strength I lacked.  Quite a difficult balance to strike.

It’s easy to get sucked up in being strong for others and forget that you need to feel the emotions and be once in a while. Just because you hide the emotions does not mean that they are not there. One day they will come closer to the surface and you will be forced to deal with them (or stuff them deeper and repeat the cycle).

I’d found a way to be strong, I would avoid all conversations that required being real. So I literally avoided Peter, I’d want to be in the same space with him but avoid him. It’s quite ridiculous looking back, but he persevered.  Thank you ❤

A few weeks after the burial, I got to do something for myself, I went on a short road trip to a near by lake. Lake Oloiden.

There I made peace with myself, God and my dad.

I forgave myself for the things I thought I could have done or said better. Such sweet release. I felt free.

I was able to forgive my dad for leaving the way he did. I wept tears of bitterness, hurt, disappointment.  Forgiveness was necessary for me to move forward. Peace engulfed my heart.

I asked God to embrace me and comfort me. I released my negative emotions regarding the whole situation, God not saving him as I thought He would. I asked for His forgiveness. Then I received peace. Not as the world gives. His peace, His divinely sweet peace.

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I asked the Lord to be my father. I had just lost my physical representation of a father and there was a huge gap in my heart, in my life. This begun a beautiful adventure in my walk with Him. One of total surrender. Oh how I wish I had known Him as my ultimate father in every sense of the word when dad was alive. God is my father.

Dad’s death shook me to the core. It made me question many things including my existence and identity. But God. God SPOKE to me and LOVED on me. I am whole, I am loved, I am His.

After finding peace, I knew this is right where I wanted to get married. The scenery and presence were exactly what I wanted surrounding us as we exchanged our vows. He was there.

What is causing your heart turmoil?  Get away, lay your emotions on the table, take them to the cross and make peace with yourself, God and other parties involved.  The bitterness and unforgiveness could be what is holding your from living your best life now.

Have a blessed week ahead,

Bibi2be

Nothing Takes God By Surprise

Hello 🙂

It’s so great to be back to writing after such a long time. I had really missed it.

Life had gotten intense and I needed to stop. There were attacks all around and my emotions and peace were all up in the air.

Even in the midst of back to back sickness, things falling through, unexpected miracles, disappointment and discouragement; I have learned to keep my eyes on He who is the author and perfecter of my faith.

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I must admit that I’ve not been a champ all through, no, at some point my attitude was stinking rotten. Then it hit me, (again) God doesn’t owe me anything. All that I have and all that I am is by His Grace. He is God in it all.

So here I am, comforted and encouraged by the fact that nothing takes Him by surprise.

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In the grande and mundane disappointments in life, I have learned that nothing takes Him by surprise and I am safe in His hands.

A recurrent prayer is that He will renew my mind that I may know His good, pleasing and perfect will. I refuse to move by my strength or wisdom. It is He who directs my steps.

I’d like to pray with you; if you have a specific request that you’d like me to trust God with you for, please send me an email via ess@bibi2be.com.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He cause His face to shine upon you and give you peace.

Blessings upon blessings,

Bibi2be