I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and chuckle. It’s evident how much I’ve changed the last two years, physically I look more or less the same. Emotionally and mentally, I am a different person. How calm I am is a testimony if God’s grace. I see the difference between Ess as a first time mum and Ess as a second time mum.
As my mama puts it, experience is the best teacher. My experience of being a mum has come with perspective. And perspective makes all the difference. It informs my decision on how to spend my energy, which moments to savor and what to be anxious about (read: commit to the Lord in prayer as I await His peace).
I know how fast the days pass by. I know that one day I will sleep, one day baby will sleep through the night. Do I hear a hallelujah? You my dear friends may need to remind me this a few months from now. This too shall come to pass.
Speaking of hallelujah, my household has this song on repeat. It calms Miss K and Miss Ky down. Hallelujah!
Perspective has helped me be more present in the now. I’ve made a deliberate decision to enjoy the season.
When I had Miss K I started ‘Lessons from my daughter’ . It looks like it’s time to add ‘s’ to daughter, because Miss Ky is making her debut today.
When she was born, she was a trusting little human being. You could hold her with one hand and she wouldn’t know the difference. About a week ago, it all changed. All of a sudden, she was aware of the fact that she was being put down and to top it up, she was weary of being put down. Rather the process. She was grasping for something to hold.
It is important to note that the hands holding her hadn’t changed. The surface she was being placed on remained constant, but she’d changed. She was more aware, and the ‘hold on for dear life’ reflex was activated.
This lesson floored me. God used Ky to show me that fear comes from within. When I feel afraid and weary of being put down, and the times I even feel let down; I need to remember that His hand has not changed. His love and plans for me remain constant.
His hand, love and heart never change. I am still safe in His hands. He knit me in my mamas womb. He has been upholding me for much longer than I can remember. He can be trusted. He is faithful.
Are you feeling afraid? Weary of being placed down or let down? Remember that God remains the same. His hand and His heart are still for you. He loves you with an everlasting love.
Isaiah 41:10 has a new meaning for me. I was upheld and He still upholds me.