Children: They Keep Me on My Toes And Remind Me To Remain On My Knees

Hello 🙂

I’ve been a little scarce on these streets. It’s Endometriosis Awareness Month, I’ve been writing more regularly on my other blog Yellow Endo Flower, sharing about living with Endometriosis in Kenya.

As I’ve written this month, I’ve been thankful. My little girls are a breath of fresh air, full of joy. They keep me on my toes, but also remind me to remain on my knees; to have a thankful heart and keep crying out to God, because there is nothing too difficult for Him. Oh there is nothing too difficult for the Lord.

Jer 32;27

I was sharing with hubby a few days ago about how I need to ask the Lord for forgiveness, because sometimes I know that He can do all things. But other times, I doubt Him. Yet He is God! Omniscient, Omnipresent and Omnipotent. He is God. Oh how I need to surrender, seek His will and trust His heart.

As Ksena and Kyria entertain me as I write, I am reminded that there is nothing too hard for the Lord. He is God. There is no situation too difficult for Him. These girls are my reminder that He is healer. Not even Endometriosis could stand in His way. There is no mountain too big for Him. So we put our trust in Him.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
    and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
    with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
    or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
    and they never stop producing fruit.

I say Praise be to the Lord. There is nothing too difficult for Him. Don’t give up on Him.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

 

5 Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

It’s amazing how much I’ve learned in my three years of being a mother. This journey that has stretched me, has also, blessed me. In the moments that I thought I would break I realized something new about myself, my God; a greater level of grace.

Life is a miracle

Conception, gestation and delivery are all a miracle, hands down, God’s hand can be seen through it all. Getting pregnant is not as easy as we sometimes think, carrying a pregnancy and giving birth through whichever method, are nothing short of a miracle. I constantly marvel at how great God is, to think that the sperm and egg fused, and he knit a being, with body parts, a soul, a mind, is truly mind blowing. Watching the girls grow has humbled me, made me see God as the creator. His handprint is all over our lives as a whole. Laminin continually blows me away. Indeed it is He who holds us together.

Good health should never be taken for granted

Being sick sucks. I’m currently recovering from a flu. It was bad. What’s worse though, is seeing my girls unwell. That is so difficult. I feel so helpless, I want to carry the sickness on their behalf, but more than anything, I want them to be well. Back to their good ol’ bubbly selves. Good health should never be taken for granted. Never, ever! Health is wealth.

Sleep, oh sweet sleep, is to be savored

When my bed time reaches, I bolt to bed. No one needs to tell me it’s time to sleep. Gone are the days of falling asleep watching a movie. Sleep is a priority. Sleep is a break. Sleep is a slice of heaven on earth. Perhaps the only thing I didn’t do enough of before I had tots, is sleep. I have no idea why I was waking up so early just before I delivered Ky; if only you could sleep in advance 🙂 Sleeping in feels like Christmas, y’know, it happens once a year.  Sleep when you can!

You give what you have

You can’t pour out of an empty cup. Motherhood is servant leadership. It’s sweet and dirty, because we all know that diaper won’t change itself; it’s hard work.  It’s stretching and rewarding. Being present, emotionally, physically and spiritually, can take a toll on you. I’ve learned and I continue to learn the importance of filling my cup, spending time with God and letting Him refresh me. When I am irritable, anxious and angry, I look within. The circumstances squeeze out what is within. Quiet time with God is not optional, it is crucial. His grace is sufficient for me. His mercies are new every morning, it’s up to me to let Him fill me up.

Be present now

‘They’ll be all grown up before you know it!’ Boy, is this phrase true. You don’t get these years back, so it’s best to enjoy the different seasons of life. Change is not always a bad thing. My girls are growing, aren’t we all. I keep reminding myself to enjoy these years, because I’ll never get them back. So we will draw together, play with rattles, sing and dance and have a great time.

We have to decide to live our best lives now. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. The biggest lie is that we have time, time to make up for the things we haven’t done; time to start living later. Today is a gift, let’s live it and be all that God created us to be.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

2016: Tried and Tested. Yet I Still Believe

The last couple of days have disoriented me. I’ve been too tired to cry. 2016 has been a roller coaster with really good days and some really sad, dark ones too. It’s had it’s share of trials and tests and I’ve had to keep reminding myself that this is not new.

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This December I read the Christmas story using the Advent reading plan; it was a beautiful time of reading. This verse really stood out for me.

peace

Some versions say, “He will be the source of our peace.” During the last couple of days, this verse has resonated with me. Life has made me feel anxious, antsy, angry, agitated. But I’ve been reminded to keep my focus on Jesus for He is the source of my peace.

A few days ago, as I put Kyria to bed, I heard the Holy Spirit ask me, ‘Do you believe?’. I said, “I believe, help my unbelief. The truth is even in the midst of the darkness, I still believe, though doubt sometimes floods my heart; I know in the depths of my heart that He is for me.

This song came to mind and it has been my declaration since.

I don’t need to see the bigger picture to believe what God says. By faith I can speak and see a thing.

I’m going into 2017 , not limited by what I’ve seen in 2016 but believing that His word is true, that there is so much that I can do. I’m believing that because He said it in His word, it settles it in the earth.

Through the trials and tests, I still believe that He is for me and I am safe in His arms. So I have chosen to give up my pride and turn away from arrogance. I’m not concerned with great matters or subjects too difficult for me. I have stilled and quieted myself in His embrace, just as a child; just as my sweet Ky is still in her mother’s arms.

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Here’s to 2017!

God  is on the throne my dear friends, here’s to many more adventures in Him and with Him.

Happy new year!!!

Thank you for journeying with the K’s and I ❤ I’m excited to see where the Lord orders our steps!!

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

Sisterhood From A Two Year Old’s Perspective

When I was growing up, I always wanted a sister. I had our lives all planned out. How we’d have little tea parties, raid each others wardrobes, enjoy some hand-me-downs and crack the boy code together.

Well, truth be told, things didn’t turn out as I expected. When mama came from the hospital, she had a bouncing little boy ( I wonder why newborns are referred to as bouncing anyway, seeing as they lay pretty still). Back to my story, a precious little boy made his debut into our home. I was sad that I had officially been dethroned as the only child ( they didn’t prepare me enough). I now had to share everything including my parents attention. But I survived; though I still longed, ever so deeply for a sister.

I must say though, God did give me sisters from other mothers. Along the way, seasons have changed and time and distance have had their way. But, there is a bond I’ve made with a few, that has stood the test of time, proximity and shifting seasons.

Watching Ksena and Kyria together has struck chords in my heart. I’m learning so many lessons about sisterhood. The simple truths.

This is what sisterhood is according to a two year old:

Sisterhood is checking up on each other

Every morning, when Ksena wakes up, she comes into my room and says “Good morning mama, where is my sister? How was her night?”

During the day, she constantly asks, “Mum, what is Kyria/sister doing? How is she feeling?”

Sisterhood is protecting each other

When someone that Ksena doesn’t know picks up her sister, she stops what she is doing and asks us ( her parents) what is happening, to know if her sister is safe. She always points out little things that she thinks will hurt Kyria.

Sisterhood is helping each other

This morning, Ky refluxed as she was on her bouncy chair. Immediately Ksena said, “Mama, Kyria spat up. Let me help wipe her.” Then she took a muslin cloth and wiped the spit up. And Ky gave her a big toothless smile.

Sisterhood is standing in the gap

When Kyria starts crying, Ksena is the first person to jump off her seat and attend to her. If she sees I’m taking too long, she comes and says, “Mum! Kyria needs your help. Mum, come help Kyria!”

Sisterhood is loving each other

“Oh Kyria, you are my sister. You are my friend. I love you. Mama, I love Kyria very much.”  These words leave Ksena’s mouth daily. She tells her she loves her and showers her with kisses, hugs and prezzies that she’s made.

Sisterhood is enjoying each other’s company

Ksena likes to be in the same space with Kyria. She is constantly asking to lie next to her or seat next to her or carry her. The look on Ky’s face when Ksena is around is heart warming. She follows her around with her eyes and is all smiles.

Sisterhood is teaching each other

Ksena is currently teaching Kyria to make music (read: sing, dance and play an instrument). She shows her how to do it then asks her to have a turn. Ky smiles in return and bounces to the music in her chair.

Sisterhood is sharing

Haha this is a tricky one. It means sharing parents and toys. Some days there is good sharing of toys. All in all, it’s a work in progress.

Sisterhood is holding each others hands

Ksena likes to hold Kyria’s hands. I constantly discourage this, because Kyria eats her hands. So it’s a song, “Ksena, please don’t touch Kyria’s hands!” then she responds, “but I love her!! Mama, I love my sister very much!” Kyria also reaches out to touch Ksena. Indeed, sisterhood is holding each others’ hands.

Watching this relationship blossom is an answer to prayer and a subtle #sisterhoodgoal.

I’ve been longing to have a milkshake and adult conversation with a sister, but as I wait for that day, I’m going to enjoy watching these girls love on each other.

This weekend, reach out to your sister, let her know you love her. If you can, hang out with her, listen to her and BE with her. If your relationship with her is in a hard place, pray about it, then pick up the phone and extend an olive branch.

Here’s to sisterhood; a relationship made in heaven.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Please Don’t Touch My Neck

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Every evening after 5:30pm, Miss K asks where her daddy is. Then informs us that he is coming home. She still can’t read a clock, but her body knows it’s evening. Miss Ky on the other hand, knows when it’s time to shower. 6pm is the time. If you delay it by ten minutes, she starts crying; then she starts wailing. And then you deeply regret delaying her shower time.

She loves the water. I can’t wait to start baby swimming with her in a few weeks. She kicks and smiles in the water. It’s such a delight to watch. All is well until you try to clean her neck. She’s figured out how to tuck her chin into her chest and keep her neck out of bounds. But her neck needs to be cleaned. After hosting a  mixture of sweat, spit up and peeling skin, it must see some water and soap. A wet wipe cannot work. She must shower.

Yesterday, as I washed her neck, my spirit was prompted to ask which areas of  my life I refuse the Lord to cleanse, yet they need to be cleaned. It’s easy to judge Ky, but I am like her. For one reason or another, I resist the Lord’s efforts to clean. I too have a smelly, sticky ‘neck’. One that cannot benefit from spraying some perfume.

I’m convicted to allow the Lord to cleanse me that I may be clean. It may feel awkward or inconvenient, but the cleansing is necessary. I pray that every time I clean her neck, I will remember to let the Lord cleanse my neck.

What is your neck? Which part of your life do you resist Him from touching? Would you let the Lord cleanse it today and everyday? 

Blessings,

Bibi2be

My Heart. And Sweet Potatoes

Hello! From the middle of a growth spurt. I’m that mama whose been breastfeeding all morning and counting down to nap time, that’s if the girls allow. They have this deal, where one takes a nap and the other keeps the sleepy-in-desperate-need-of-a nap- mama company. This seems like a legit plan to keep me from getting bored, after all, they are pretty good entertainers.

In the midst of it all, the conversations that I have with Miss K, are so precious. One of the things that I am really enjoying in this season is that she can communicate what’s on her heart and how she feels.

One evening as I burped Miss Ky seated on my bed. Miss K came to keep us company and begun to knock on the head board smiling. Below is the conversation that followed:

Me: “When Jesus knocks at the door of your heart, what do you say?”

Miss K: “Karibu!” (welcome)

Me: “What do you tell him?”

Miss K: “You can have my heart”

Me: “Yes *smiles* and your whole life”

Miss K: “Yes. And Ngwacii?” (and sweet potatoes?)

Me: Yes and Ngwacii.

matthew-19-14

This verse came alive for me.

Miss K understands that Jesus wants her heart. Over and above that, she longs to cultivate a relationship with Him. She desires to share the normal things of her life with Him too. On this particular day, sweet potatoes happened to be what she wanted to share.

The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. My prayer is that I will create an environment where she can encounter the Lord. That I will continue to speak His truth to her, and let her pursue Jesus.

I’m challenged to take time out and have a meal as I pray and let God speak to me.

Would you share a meal with Him today? Take time out to hear Him speak.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Echoes, Colors and Freedom

It’s quite fascinating to watch toddlers grow. Their curiosity and eagerness to learn is beautiful to watch. They question and seek to understand the grande and mundane. Everything is fascinating, the grandeur of an old tree and the way crabs walk in the sand. I am enjoying this stage of questions, because it also forces me to think about why I believe what I believe about certain things. As I teach and answer, I try not to pass on any biases I may have picked up along the way, as they are not the truth.

curiosity

Miss K’s fascination for the last couple of months has been echoes. She can now recognize acoustics, and every time we enter a room or stairwell that reflects sound, she shouts “ECHO!” and waits to hear “echo echo echo” fade in the background. It’s a cheap thrill, the look of glee tells you that happiness is an inside job.

I’ve had a series of difficult days of the past couple of weeks, where I’ve felt like I was drowning or in an empty room. In the height of those days, I’d find her shouting ‘ECHO!’ in my bathroom and wonder why? Why echoes make her so happy. The truth is that echoes didn’t fascinate me as much as they do Ksena until the day I had a little revelation.

In audio signal processing and acoustics, echo is a reflection of sound that arrives at the listener with a delay after the direct sound. The delay is proportional to the distance of the reflecting surface from the source and the listener. Typical examples are the echo produced by the bottom of a well, by a building, or by the walls of an enclosed room and an empty room. A true echo is a single reflection of the sound source. This is the definition from  Wikipedia.

The distance to the source matters. Even in the dark and empty spaces, it is important for God to remain my source. It’s crucial that I remain close to Him, so that His word and truth may echo in my heart and mind.

From that day, I begun to pray that as I draw close to God, His truth and love will echo in every empty place I find myself in. That it will bounce off every wall of my being.

I have seen God bring color into the room, He has brought color into my life, wiped away the dullness and darkness. As His truth has reflected off surfaces, it has made a home in my heart. This song has blessed me in this season.

If you are in a dark space or you feel like you are drowning in a well, I pray that the Lord’s truth and promises will echo endlessly until your heart, mind and your whole being believes Him. I pray that God will walk into the room and bring new color into your life and wipe away the dullness.

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May His truth set you free. Free to rise up above everything that has held you down and free to be all that He created you to be.

Blessings,

Bibi2be