Ballerina

‘Our dreams are valid’ is what I think to myself everytime I see Miss K practicing her ballet that has been heavily influenced by a rodent, Angelina Ballerina.

“Mum look I am balancing” she squeals and then proceeds to twirl along. Ky joins her in a swirling motion, like ice cream being dispensed onto a cone, with a smile on her face and a dizzy spell in tow.

“Mum, I want you to teach me ballet!” Ksena told me, I almost spilled my tea, honored that she thinks that ballet is one of the things that I am good at and that I am a graceful ballerina.

I think that they’ve got a hang of balancing better than I have. Sometimes I feel flustered as I balance being a mum and writer (now published author), while incubating and working on other dreams. Though I am learning that some structure and accepting help goes a long way. And the grace and poise will come with the training and territory.

The story would not be complete without sacrifice and patience, the fine print that should be in font size 72 and caps because they are the core of the journey.

Sacrifice

I write when the household is asleep, most times yawning, not because the content is boring but my bed beckons and there is something about seeing people sleeping that makes me want to sleep too.

Patience

I think I kept failing this test. It feels like I have been going around the mountain for 40 years and growing weary. I had my own grand timelines for my book(s), but they did not work out. My prayers became microwave editions, with timelines on them. Frustration peaked when after ‘2 minutes’ the meal was not ready.

Bloom

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You know the joy that you feel when you cook up a storm and it looks good and tastes good? I have the same kinda joy in my heart. My first published book Bloom is FINALLY out. I wrote it one year ago and it has been such a journey, but it is out and I am a very different person and writer from the lady who wrote it.

When I got my final sample my girlies were so excited, Ky kept squealing, “Mama!” when she saw my picture, and she ran to show anyone who cared to see. Seeing my picture and name on a book is still growing on me, but my obedience coupled with God’s goodness, faithfulness, and counsel, that I could get used to seeing.

Here I am, a dancing ballerina with joy in my heart, looking forward to learning some more beautiful steps in the ballet class of life, and dancing to please my King.

If you would like to order Bloom, please send me an email via yellowendflower@gmail.com and I will let you know how to get it.

 

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From The Mouth of Babes, God Speaks!

As I write this, I am hiding from the girls. I love them to bits, but today I am taking a small break, to write and also miss THE hour. You know, the hour when they fight sleep and end up being a little feisty.

About two weeks ago, I had one of those days when I was weary. I had given all that I had and was ready for bed but the babies had extra energy. I whispered to heaven, “Lord, does heaven deliver chocolate cake and hugs?”. Then I heard nothing. I’m not too sure what I was expecting to hear though. Though a direct delivery would have been heavenly, see what I did there? 🙂

There was no time to sit and sulk. The evening routine had to be done. The girls don’t care about my internal atmosphere, they just want mummy, to read them their bible and pray with them before bed. Speaking of bible reading, Ksena’s current favorite story is Jesus on the cross. She asks for it each and every day.  Initially I struggled with how to answer all her questions. I was not exactly sure how to simplify death and resurrection or how much her two year old mind would understand. But, I decided to tell her the truth, biblical truth and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Mine is to sow seeds and pray that it lands on good soil, and the Lord, the gardener, will water the seeds and that they will grow. In this season, I have been increasingly grateful for the Holy Spirit. John 14 and 16 are dear to me.

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Look at me digress 🙂 That evening, after we’d read the story of Jesus on the cross, Ksena started singing. Mummy, “Hear Christ calling, ‘Come unto me, and I will give you rest.’ ” She sang it over and over again, and it got my attention. I heard loud and clear that the rest that my weary and somewhat empty soul needed was in God. I slept smiling that night. Exhausted but at peace.

I currently cannot get enough of this song. It is my prayer.

Acts 3 comes to mind and it reminds me that when the Spirit comes, you overflow. You cannot remain the same.

Eternity is but a heartbeat away ~ Cornelius Lindsey.

We were created to worship God. It won’t start when we die, it will be a continuation of what we have been doing here on earth. My prayer is that my life song, our life songs will be acceptable to Him.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

My Heart. And Sweet Potatoes

Hello! From the middle of a growth spurt. I’m that mama whose been breastfeeding all morning and counting down to nap time, that’s if the girls allow. They have this deal, where one takes a nap and the other keeps the sleepy-in-desperate-need-of-a nap- mama company. This seems like a legit plan to keep me from getting bored, after all, they are pretty good entertainers.

In the midst of it all, the conversations that I have with Miss K, are so precious. One of the things that I am really enjoying in this season is that she can communicate what’s on her heart and how she feels.

One evening as I burped Miss Ky seated on my bed. Miss K came to keep us company and begun to knock on the head board smiling. Below is the conversation that followed:

Me: “When Jesus knocks at the door of your heart, what do you say?”

Miss K: “Karibu!” (welcome)

Me: “What do you tell him?”

Miss K: “You can have my heart”

Me: “Yes *smiles* and your whole life”

Miss K: “Yes. And Ngwacii?” (and sweet potatoes?)

Me: Yes and Ngwacii.

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This verse came alive for me.

Miss K understands that Jesus wants her heart. Over and above that, she longs to cultivate a relationship with Him. She desires to share the normal things of her life with Him too. On this particular day, sweet potatoes happened to be what she wanted to share.

The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. My prayer is that I will create an environment where she can encounter the Lord. That I will continue to speak His truth to her, and let her pursue Jesus.

I’m challenged to take time out and have a meal as I pray and let God speak to me.

Would you share a meal with Him today? Take time out to hear Him speak.

Blessings,

Bibi2be