The Needless Pain We Bear

I woke up with a headache this morning, the kind that left me grumpy so early in the day. Not my ideal way to start my day. I was longing for night time before the clock had struck 8am.

As I begun to think. I realized that something was bothering me. I slept thinking about it last night and didn’t take it to God in prayer. Thinking about it and dwelling on how to find a solution had not borne any fruit other than a headache and frumpy mood. I decided to pray and and take it all to God, stressing and analyzing the situation was not working. As I prayed the headache begun to lift. I realized that rather than it being sickness, it was a physical manifestation of a burden that I was carrying.

Oh what needless pain I was bearing. The heaviness of my heart was affecting my body and causing me pain. I was not at peace.

proverbs 17;22

The lyrics of ‘ What a friend we have in Jesus’ played so clearly in my head:

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

The state of my heart can affect the state of my body in terms of my health. Guarding my heart from burdens it doesn’t need to carry, is an important part of guarding my health and acting in my best interest. There are so many times that I have wanted to treat the symptoms rather than the real cause of the pain. Because, sometimes it seems easier to swallow a pill than have an honest talk deep within and take the matter to God. Many times I don’t want to slow down and reflect on what is really happening. What I don’t realize is that by moving quickly in avoidance I am actually slowing myself down in the long run. The irony.

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Have you been experiencing pain that you can’t quite explain? Does the burden in your heart make the whole of your body hurt? Does your heart weigh a tonne? Are you harboring feelings of anger and bitterness ?

Run to God, tell Him what it is you are going through and leave the matter in His able hands. Walk in His peace as you trust in Him. He is for you. Find rest in Him.

God bless you.

Happy new month (: and have a lovely weekend!

Bibi2be

 

 

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I Will Run To You Even When It Hurts

I read a really interesting book this weekend that really encouraged me.

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I highly recommend it for all parents, it’s a nice, easy read filled with pearls of wisdom. There is a lot that parents and children can learn from each other. The beauty of life is that we don’t stop learning. This realization is what birthed the Lessons From My Daughter posts.

A few days ago, I had to discipline Ksena. As she cried because she’d been disciplined she still wanted me to comfort her and give her warm cuddles. She was sad but the discipline didn’t make her doubt my intentions or love for her. She knew that my love for her was constant and that the issue of indiscipline was just a hurdle in our journey.

This got me thinking about my relationship with God. What is my attitude towards Him after He has disciplined me? Do I run away in a huff and a puff grumbling about how unfair He is or do I run to Him and let Him comfort me?

I’d love to say that I always run to Him but there are many times that I have run away and sulked. I have even made up bizarre stories about the inadequacy of His love for me. Only to realize that He disciplines me because He loves me; and, the discipline is for my good.

Proverbs 3:11-12 New Living Translation (NLT)

11 My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline,
    and don’t be upset when he corrects you.
12 For the Lord corrects those he loves,
    just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

I continuously realize why God needs us to have childlike faith, to take Him at His word. His love for us is constant. He sees the bigger picture and we can, and should, trust Him.

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Today I have resolved to run to Him at all times because I can trust Him and His heart for me. He loves me and IS for me.

Do you trust His heart when the discipline hurts? Will you run to Him in the midst of it all?

Have a blessed week.

Bibi2be

Love That Heals The Pain Within

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We are living in a time where the world is deficient of hope. Every where you turn, all you see and hear are sad stories. There are seldom any good stories. The ones that are there, seem like a drop in the ocean. In the recent past, several people have told me that they get depressed from watching the news. It may seem like a small thing that they shouldn’t take too personally, but, the news is subconsciously replayed in their minds hours and days after the bulletin.

Though we don’t see it, people are crying and dying on the inside. While physical pain has been considered the main cause of death, cases of emotional pain induced deaths are on the rise.
proverbs 18%2214

A crushed spirit is difficult to bear.

Depression and suicide are things that I don’t like to write about very often, mainly because, they are very close to home. As I have processed them over the last couple of years, I have realized that what people need is love and hope. Yes, counseling, medication and conversations are important but they are not enough. A personal experience of love is necessary.

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16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. [Ephesians 3:16-19]

I wrote this poem, after many years of not writing, to try and paint a picture of emotional pain. The pain that eats people alive from within.

There’s a pain,
That echoes in the chambers of my heart.
There’s a pain,
That nobody else seems to understand.
There’s a pain,
That makes me long to be free;
There’s a pain,
That holds me back from living out my destiny.

There’s a pain,
That has whispered many lies that have become my truth.
There’s a pain,
That leaves me with only despair and depression to choose.
There’s a pain,
That robs me of my desire to live.
There’s a pain,
That drives me out options and I’ve just got to leave.

There’s a pain,
That engulfs me though I don’t show it.
There’s a pain,
That has shown me just how good I am at masking.
There’s a pain,
That churns within my soul.
There’s a pain,
That won’t give at all.

There’s a pain,
That I can’t just snap out of;
There’s a pain,
That’s not like a bad mood that I can get rid off.
There’s a pain,
That is real.
There’s a pain,
That I long to heal.

There’s a pain,
That hurts too much.
There’s a pain,
That won’t let me speak, so I remain hush.

Where’s this pain?
It is everywhere!
It starts in the heart,
Then it latches on every part that can hurt.

Do not be fooled any longer by the smile,
My heart and being are filled with so much bile.
For a very long while, I have tried to be strong,
But now I need to end it all, though I know it is wrong.

Every time you think of me, cherish our memories;
Please accept my a million ‘ I’m  Sorrys ‘.
There’s a pain,
I have tried to stay strong and hopeful, but in vain.

©2015
In memory of those who I’ve loved and have conceded defeat to this pain. Indeed,
There’s a pain,
That often fails to meet the eye.

For those who are dealing with this pain, my earnest prayer is that the Lord will send His comforting angels to minister to you. That you will know that you are not alone or too far gone. That the Holy Spirit will speak truth into every situation and crevice of your heart. And that this truth will dispel all the lies that you have believed. I pray that God will infuse you with hope, peace, joy and inner strength. May you personally experience the might and vastness of God’s unfailing love. In Jesus name we pray and believe, Amen.

For those who have loved and lost, I pray that the God of all comfort will love on you. May you experience His peace and grace. May He strengthen you and help you to face tomorrow without your loved one. May He steady your feet and be your ever present help in times of need. In Jesus name we pray and believe, Amen.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

P.S as always, if you would like me to stand with you in prayer, send me an email via ess@bibi2be.com

Pain Precedes Joy : Day 30

And just like that, a month has gone by. I have managed to blog everyday for one month. Some days have been more difficult than others, I have cried tears but I have overcome.

labour

It reminds me a lot of this day one year ago. I was overdue and so ready for my baby to vacate my body. It was time. Baby and I were both cognizant of this fact. My blood pressure was escalating as the hours went by and she had already pooped in the womb. After a failed induction and membrane rupture, I was six centimeters dilated for seven excruciating hours. Labour pains were progressing but my cervix had reached its end; Cervical Dsytocia. I was discouraged and scared. It was supposed to be simpler, straightforward.

I ended up in the theatre. When the baby was placed in my arms, it didn’t matter, what method God had used to bring her out. She was worth every ounce of pain I felt. God’s timing was perfect. She was my perfect gift from the Most High.

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It is the same way with life. God places a good and perfect gift within you but it seems to linger on longer than you expected. It is possible for your attitude towards the gift, the giver and yourself to jeopardize how you finish. Don’t let fear make you want to keep it in longer than your ‘womb’ should host it. His grace is sufficient for the season to come. He will help and strengthen you. His power will be made perfect in your weakness.

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Whatever the Lord has placed within you will come to pass. Though your estimated due date has passed, the end is close.  The season of labour may seem like it is not yielding anything, but God will come to your rescue and He will help you to deliver your ‘baby’. Your joy is coming. Hang in there. It will be worth all the pain and sleepless nights. Surrender it all to Him and trust that He will carry you through and strengthen you.

Prayer of the day:

Dear God,

I thank you for this day and for the gift that you have placed within me. I feel as though the pain has tarried for too long and I am getting weary. Father by your power, please encourage and strengthen me. Help me to keep my eyes on you and may your plan, that is good, prevail. Prepare and equip for this next season that you may be seen in and through me.

You know the desires and anxieties of my heart, I ask Oh Lord, that while on others thou art calling, do not pass me by.

In Jesus name I pray and believe,

Amen

The song of the day:

Thank you for taking this journey with me. I’m humbled that the Lord chose to use me for the glory of His name.

God bless and keep you,

Bibi2be

P.S I would love to hear your testimonies of what God has done in and for you this month. Please send me an email on ess@bibi2be.com

Dare To Look Past the Pain : Day 22

Miss K has been teething for the last couple of days. We thought it was just one tooth coming out, it turns out they were three. Yes three, all at once. You can imagine the discomfort. Teething pains are quite something. One night she woke up 5 times. I was even confused. The following morning, one broke through.

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As I reflected on the troubled nights, God revealed to me that it is important to look past the pain. Sometimes I focus so much on the pain and get lost in bemoaning. However, something good will come out of the pain. Sometimes, the pain is necessary for the blessing to break through.

Today, I am encouraged, that the season of discomfort will soon come to an end. It will bear fruit and God is able to use the pain to do exceedingly abundantly much more than I could ever think, ask or imagine.

What teething pains are you experiencing?

What is causing your faith to falter?

Be encouraged dear friend, be encouraged.

reveal

The prayer of the day:

Dear God,

I thank you for seasons of pain. Though they threaten to break me, You cultivate perseverance in me. I am learning that the pain has a purpose. There are times when I want to give up, but please strengthen me and encourage me. May I live to see the revelation of the pain. May lives be changed because of this pain.

In Jesus name I pray and believe,

Amen

The song of the day:

Blessings,

Bibi2be

P.S if you would like me to stand with you in prayer, send me an email on ess@bibi2be.com

God Understands You : Day 15

There are times that I have felt as though I am not fully understood by others. Though they may sympathize, they do not come from a place of experience. Their desire to encourage me may be noble, but they are limited. As a result, I measure what I say according to what I feel they can understand.

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This has been a lovely reminder, God understands me, not in the cliche sense of the word and world, but He really does. He has felt what I feel and His comfort comes from a place of much more than empathy, it comes from experience. Even though sometimes He seems far away, He is as close they get. He sees what I struggle to articulate. I don’t have to put up face with Him, He longs to see my heart and heal it.

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What have you been feeling like the world cannot understand?

What is the unspoken cry of your heart?

Try Jesus. Receive His mercy and find His grace. Allow Him to love on you.

Dear God,

I am so humbled that you love me like You do. Thank you for sending Your Son to come to die for my sins. What a privilege it is to know that He feels my pain, that He actually knows and understands my myriad of emotions.

Jesus please forgive me for the times that I have ignored You and rejected Your offer for help. Yet You know what I need, You are what I need. Your love and comfort are exactly what I need.

Help me to run to you, in your arms I am safe. I desire to confide in You and let You in to the deepest part of my heart where the pain and raw emotions reside.

Be exalted in my life. My soul longs for you.

In Jesus name I pray and believe,

Amen

The song of the day:

Jesus desires to comfort you. His mercy and grace await thee. Run into His arms and let Him embrace you and soothe you with His loving words.

Blessings,

BIBI2BE

P.S if you would like me to stand with you in prayer, send me an email on ess@bibi2be@gmail.com

Pain Must Be Felt: Day 10

I am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God.  ~ Elizabeth Elliot

I really admire Elizabeth Elliot’s walk with God. Her life is testimony of what God can do through pain, if you let Him. She lost not one but two husbands; she ministered to the people who killed her first husband. You can read more about her here.

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We took Miss K to the docs yesterday, she knew where we were so she was uneasy. As she gets older she is able to predict events. When she was given the jab, she wailed, till tears came out. She has two types of cries, one for attention, which is more of noise, the other one with tears when she has actually been hurt. Yesterday, she was hurt, both physically and emotionally. She gave us a look of ‘how could you?’ and her arm was a little sore. The reality is that, as much as she could have perceived our actions to be bad, the pain was necessary for her. It may seem like we didn’t protect her from pain then, but she had to feel the pain to protect her from pain later.

Hubby took her out to the balcony and comforted her as she cried. There was no ‘get over it now’ sort of speech, not at all. He just soothed her and let her go through the motions. Eventually she calmed down and kept quiet and begun waving bye at cars driving into the horizon. Such a sweetheart, this little one.

pain

Pain must be felt.

In our own lives, we must give ourselves room to feel the pain, because it hurts. We can choose to overlook it, but that will not take away it’s power. Also, when people are in pain, or have gone through trauma, they need time to feel. Sit in their pain, evaluate it, acknowledge that it happened; feel it. Unlike other things, there is no timeline for dealing with pain. So don’t rush anyone. As long as they are dealing and haven’t given up, they will be just fine, with God’s help. He is close to the brokenhearted. They are safe in His arms. You are safe in His arms.

Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

How have you been hurt recently?

Have you allowed yourself to go through the motions of the pain?

Feeling pain is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. We live and we learn.

No one is immune. It’s a part of life. Some things hurt more than others, by God’s grace we bounce back.

hope

Do you know someone who is heart broken? going through the motions of pain?

How can you comfort them patiently?

Pray for them. Be there for them.

The prayer of the day:

Dear Lord,

Your children’s hearts are breaking. The worries of life and unfortunate events have brought unimaginable pain their way. I pray Lord that you will be very close to them. That you will comfort the grieving family, comfort those who have been abused, comfort those who feel disappointed by your timing, comfort those who have been rejected, comfort those who have lost children, comfort those who have lost their jobs and comfort those who need your comfort.

May you be so close to the them, that above the pain, and in the midst of the pain they will hear you speak your loving words and truth to their hearts. They need you Papa, we need you; I need you. Please wipe the tears that flow down my face when I go through painful seasons, comfort my heart and show me how to forgive.

In Jesus name I pray and believe,

Amen

The song of the day:

Blessings,

Bibi2Be

P.S If you would like me to stand with you in prayer, feel free to send me an email on ess@bibi2be.com