Children: They Keep Me on My Toes And Remind Me To Remain On My Knees

Hello 🙂

I’ve been a little scarce on these streets. It’s Endometriosis Awareness Month, I’ve been writing more regularly on my other blog Yellow Endo Flower, sharing about living with Endometriosis in Kenya.

As I’ve written this month, I’ve been thankful. My little girls are a breath of fresh air, full of joy. They keep me on my toes, but also remind me to remain on my knees; to have a thankful heart and keep crying out to God, because there is nothing too difficult for Him. Oh there is nothing too difficult for the Lord.

Jer 32;27

I was sharing with hubby a few days ago about how I need to ask the Lord for forgiveness, because sometimes I know that He can do all things. But other times, I doubt Him. Yet He is God! Omniscient, Omnipresent and Omnipotent. He is God. Oh how I need to surrender, seek His will and trust His heart.

As Ksena and Kyria entertain me as I write, I am reminded that there is nothing too hard for the Lord. He is God. There is no situation too difficult for Him. These girls are my reminder that He is healer. Not even Endometriosis could stand in His way. There is no mountain too big for Him. So we put our trust in Him.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
    and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
    with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
    or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
    and they never stop producing fruit.

I say Praise be to the Lord. There is nothing too difficult for Him. Don’t give up on Him.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

 

Broken Telephone: Shattered Screens and Realized Dreams

Tuesday 27th September 2016

The following events take place between 3:26am and 6:26am

3:26am

I wake up to check the monitor and realize that I need to adjust something in Miss K’s room. As I get up, I notice that my phone is low on charge, and decide to charge it on the other side of the room. As I bend and look for the cable, the phone falls, lands on the floor screen first and the screen shatters.

I say to myself, “What a start to a day!” Wait? Does 3:27am even count as a start to my day? It’s more like an intermission. I was planning on running back to bed and sleeping. I start to wonder if I really needed to charge my phone at that time. Thoughts of regret course through my mind. I’ve been here before, not so long ago actually. It was such a long process to get a new screen the last time, due to unavailability of screens in Mombasa. In Nairobi, it was only one guy who had it. I found him after weeks of searching. Sigh.

3:40am

I have thought about it long enough and the conclusion is the same; what’s done is done. So I pick up my bible and prayer books and head to the sitting room. After all, hubby usually says that if you wake up at 3am, it’s time to pray.

3:45am

It is such an inconvenient time for my phone to break. Yes, I’m still on this vibe, now I’ve just decided to tell God how disappointed I am. But there is only so much crying over spilt milk one can do, so I let that be and start to read God’s word. I start with 2nd Thessalonians and finish with 1st Thessalonians. In the process, my heart is left encouraged. Nowhere does it mention broken screens 🙂 but I know that there is more to life than the comfort of intact screens.

4:30am

I might as well write now that I am fully awake. I have been meaning to put together a work book that will help me teach Ksena shapes, letters, numbers, sizes, and God’s truth as we craft and sing. So I start writing, rather, I start drawing and it begins to flow.

By now, I am no longer sleepy. Though I know this sleep will catch up with me later in the day. At least I will have something to show for it.

I pour myself a cup of tea and continue writing. The satisfaction and joy builds in my heart with every sip I take and every letter I type.

6:00am

The book is almost done and I realize WOW!!! I love to teach this little girl and I would love to teach other children God’s truth. My desire to have a bible study here in Mombasa has not quite taken off, but this book can help other mums teach their children and have fun while at it.

6:10am

I should try get an hour of sleep, but first, I decide to write this blog post to be published later.

My heart is full. This workbook is one of my writing and teaching dreams on paper. It will help me to be intentional about teaching Ksena. Also, I love the fact that it integrates God’s truth with the basic things of life. It’s simple and fun. It’s intentional. This book has four lessons, you can spread each lesson over a week, so it should last you a month. Book 2 is already running through my mind.

I want to upload it on this blog so that people can download it. I am not quite sure how to do that just yet, but I am sure I will find a way. If you’d like to help out in this little project, please send me an email via ess@bibi2be.com .

If you would like to receive this book via email when I’m done with it this week, please send me an email via ess@bibi2be.com and I will send you a copy.

Would I have woken up to write without my screen breaking? Let’s just say that sometimes God gets our attention loud and clear. I’ve been playing broken telephone for a long time, regarding this and other projects. Looks like this time the phone actually broke.

Here’s to keeping screens intact longer, heeding the Lord’s call and executing the dream.

6:26am

I finally sprint to bed for that extra hour of sleep. A bitter sweet start to the day, but I’m definitely dwelling on the sweet part.

Have a blessed day,

Bibi2be

 

Elephant <3

I opened my hand bag the other day and smiled. I found one of Ksena’s stuffed animals, Elephant.

Elephant is one of the latest entrants into her collection. This one has a special place in my heart. A few days ago, as she sat in her car seat, she had a really sweet conversation with him.

“Elephant, come! Let’s pray. Close your eyes, and put your hands together.”

Then they begun to say the Lord’s prayer

“Our Father who art in heaven….”

After that, she prayed for the imaginary food that they would eat.

“Thank you Jesus, for the food…”

I looked at her through the rear view mirror and smiled.

My heart swelled with joy. It affirmed that she is learning more about God every day . Also, I was blown away by her desire to teach the stuffed animal what she knows about Jesus. Oh how I pray that this desire will continue for many years to come, that she will share the gospel with many, first in her sphere of influence and then with those beyond.

This reminded me of the great commission:great-commission

Do you know someone who could use a prayer? If you are in the same town, stop by and stand with them in prayer.

Do you know someone who needs to hear the gospel? Meet them and tell them about Jesus.

As I type this, Ksena is pushing Elephant around on her tricycle.

Have a blessed weekend.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Another Chance To Get It Right

I didn’t know the power of coffee until I became a mother of an energetic toddler. The term ‘morning person’ was redefined; I always imagined that I was a morning person, but my energy levels paled in comparison to Ksena’s. She wakes up ready to take on the world. Her booting phase takes all of ten minutes max and then the stories begin. Some days she would wake up as the sun peeked out of the clouds and I was still asleep in my head. My train of thought was not yet up and running.

courtesy of commons.wikemedia.org

courtesy of commons.wikemedia.org

Coffee became my crutch. Only after I could see the bottom of my cup of coffee, could I fully function. Coffee helped me truly wake up and be normal; it kicked miss cranky pants out. Anytime before coffee o’clock I was somewhat sleep walking as I tried to keep up with conversation and hurriedly make breakfast. It got to a place that I had to stop drinking the coffee, well, I realized that it wasn’t really helping my estrogen levels and also I had an unhealthy relationship with it.

So I stopped drinking coffee. The first couple of days were a blur. I’d properly wake up four hours into the day, and my energy levels were suffering. I had to find a substitute. I started having Apple Cider Vinegar in water in the morning which really helped with my energy levels, but before that, I started praying and asking God to help me. To carry me and strengthen me.

I won’t lie, sometimes I still crave a cup of coffee but I have learned that it cannot be my lifeline or shortcut. Only Jesus can energize me and give me mental clarity that lasts the whole day.

So I say, in the morning when I rise, give me Jesus and all day too.

give me Jesus

Some nights I go to bed, beating myself up, because sheer exhaustion is not the best lens to examine yourself by. A few days ago, as I reflected on the day that was, I realized I hadn’t gotten a chance to do everything that I would have liked, to give as many cuddles as I’d have liked [also, because cuddling an extremely active toddler can be a wee bit difficult ] and it made me sad. I have an idea of what being a ‘perfect mum’ looks like but there are so many days that I fall short.

As I settled into bed, this quote caught my eye:

‘Being a perfect parent doesn’t matter. Being a praying parent does.’ Stormie Omartian

Sometimes I am so stuck on perfection that I forget to pray more. Yet prayer is what matters.

This morning, I am thankful for another chance to get it right. A chance to love God above all else, love my family, live in purpose and pray more.

Have a wonderful day.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

The Needless Pain We Bear

I woke up with a headache this morning, the kind that left me grumpy so early in the day. Not my ideal way to start my day. I was longing for night time before the clock had struck 8am.

As I begun to think. I realized that something was bothering me. I slept thinking about it last night and didn’t take it to God in prayer. Thinking about it and dwelling on how to find a solution had not borne any fruit other than a headache and frumpy mood. I decided to pray and and take it all to God, stressing and analyzing the situation was not working. As I prayed the headache begun to lift. I realized that rather than it being sickness, it was a physical manifestation of a burden that I was carrying.

Oh what needless pain I was bearing. The heaviness of my heart was affecting my body and causing me pain. I was not at peace.

proverbs 17;22

The lyrics of ‘ What a friend we have in Jesus’ played so clearly in my head:

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

The state of my heart can affect the state of my body in terms of my health. Guarding my heart from burdens it doesn’t need to carry, is an important part of guarding my health and acting in my best interest. There are so many times that I have wanted to treat the symptoms rather than the real cause of the pain. Because, sometimes it seems easier to swallow a pill than have an honest talk deep within and take the matter to God. Many times I don’t want to slow down and reflect on what is really happening. What I don’t realize is that by moving quickly in avoidance I am actually slowing myself down in the long run. The irony.

matthew-11

Have you been experiencing pain that you can’t quite explain? Does the burden in your heart make the whole of your body hurt? Does your heart weigh a tonne? Are you harboring feelings of anger and bitterness ?

Run to God, tell Him what it is you are going through and leave the matter in His able hands. Walk in His peace as you trust in Him. He is for you. Find rest in Him.

God bless you.

Happy new month (: and have a lovely weekend!

Bibi2be

 

 

Lord, I Am Coming!!

I’m quite good at multitasking, but I have to do things immediately.~ Heidi Klum

I’ve realized that if I don’t do things immediately, I tend to forget and remember way after. It becomes history.

Yesterday as I read my bible, this verse really struck me.

 

come

First off, it is so precious that the Lord desires for me to go and talk with Him. Secondly, sometimes, when my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” I don’t quite get there. The reasons vary time to time. But the point is, I say “I am coming”, get side-tracked by life and miss out on a life changing encounter doing the mundane things. There is a place for playing my role, but there needs to be a space that I commune with the Lord especially when He calls.

encounter

In the evening, during my devotion time with Ksena, we read about the story of God calling Samuel. In fact, when she chose this story I smiled to myself, knowing that God was trying to tell me something.

There are several times that God has called me in my sleep but I’ve continued to sleep. My response should be like that of Samuel.

1 Samuel Chapter 3

10 And the Lord came and called as before, “Samuel! Samuel!”

And Samuel replied, “Speak, your servant is listening.”

When the Lord calls me, I have resolved within myself to respond, “Lord, I am coming” and actually get there. Yesterday, I actually got there, and I’m glad. There is nothing like the presence of the Lord. When we seek His face, He is there in that place.

Has the Lord been calling you? Are you still on your way? Rush to Him today and hear what He has to say. It’s guaranteed, you will not leave His presence the same.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Hey Mama! You Are Doing A Great Job!!

Happy new week 🙂

Time and time again, I have moments of doubt and exasperation. Motherhood is extremely rewarding but can also be draining and confusing for just a moment. This moment, however, sometimes feels like a lifetime, until you smile again.

e490978ac0ccb78fd153ff798c3ac57e

As I had lunch with a group of friends last week, a friend of mine said to me, ”You are a great mum, Ess!” My soul almost leaped across the table and hugged her. Instead, I told her that God had sent her to tell me that.

A few hours before this conversation, I was in tears of frustration and exasperation. Wondering if I was doing an okay job. As I cried, I cried to the Lord and asked Him to strengthen me.

This verse has been  a constant in my life since I became a mommy.

images (10)

From that statement, I was encouraged. Reassured that the exhaustion and rough patch would come to pass. Even as I walked in the dark, I was still walking.

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For the mama who is exhausted beyond words, sleep deprived, drained from the hospital visits, wondering if she is making a difference in her babies’ lives, take heart!! You are doing a good job. You are a great mama. Your reward is in heaven. Your source of strength is in heaven. Trade your sorrows for His joy, trade your heavy burden for His that is light, trade your yoke for His that is easy.

Allow God to fill you with Himself.

Have a lovely week. May the joy of the Lord be your strength.

Blessings,

Bibi2be