5 Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

It’s amazing how much I’ve learned in my three years of being a mother. This journey that has stretched me, has also, blessed me. In the moments that I thought I would break I realized something new about myself, my God; a greater level of grace.

Life is a miracle

Conception, gestation and delivery are all a miracle, hands down, God’s hand can be seen through it all. Getting pregnant is not as easy as we sometimes think, carrying a pregnancy and giving birth through whichever method, are nothing short of a miracle. I constantly marvel at how great God is, to think that the sperm and egg fused, and he knit a being, with body parts, a soul, a mind, is truly mind blowing. Watching the girls grow has humbled me, made me see God as the creator. His handprint is all over our lives as a whole. Laminin continually blows me away. Indeed it is He who holds us together.

Good health should never be taken for granted

Being sick sucks. I’m currently recovering from a flu. It was bad. What’s worse though, is seeing my girls unwell. That is so difficult. I feel so helpless, I want to carry the sickness on their behalf, but more than anything, I want them to be well. Back to their good ol’ bubbly selves. Good health should never be taken for granted. Never, ever! Health is wealth.

Sleep, oh sweet sleep, is to be savored

When my bed time reaches, I bolt to bed. No one needs to tell me it’s time to sleep. Gone are the days of falling asleep watching a movie. Sleep is a priority. Sleep is a break. Sleep is a slice of heaven on earth. Perhaps the only thing I didn’t do enough of before I had tots, is sleep. I have no idea why I was waking up so early just before I delivered Ky; if only you could sleep in advance 🙂 Sleeping in feels like Christmas, y’know, it happens once a year.  Sleep when you can!

You give what you have

You can’t pour out of an empty cup. Motherhood is servant leadership. It’s sweet and dirty, because we all know that diaper won’t change itself; it’s hard work.  It’s stretching and rewarding. Being present, emotionally, physically and spiritually, can take a toll on you. I’ve learned and I continue to learn the importance of filling my cup, spending time with God and letting Him refresh me. When I am irritable, anxious and angry, I look within. The circumstances squeeze out what is within. Quiet time with God is not optional, it is crucial. His grace is sufficient for me. His mercies are new every morning, it’s up to me to let Him fill me up.

Be present now

‘They’ll be all grown up before you know it!’ Boy, is this phrase true. You don’t get these years back, so it’s best to enjoy the different seasons of life. Change is not always a bad thing. My girls are growing, aren’t we all. I keep reminding myself to enjoy these years, because I’ll never get them back. So we will draw together, play with rattles, sing and dance and have a great time.

We have to decide to live our best lives now. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. The biggest lie is that we have time, time to make up for the things we haven’t done; time to start living later. Today is a gift, let’s live it and be all that God created us to be.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

I Will Love, Dearly, Deeply and Deliberately <3

The two lines made my heart skip a beat.

image-3

courtesy of peonies and picnics

Joy and awe flooded my heart.

But doubt was not very far behind.

Two sets of hands of feet were joining our family. Two sets of dreams and destiny. We were going to be parents of two little humans.

I didn’t feel ready, better still qualified. The truth is that sometimes I doubt that I’m doing a good job mummying one set of hands and feet, so the thought of a  bonus had me shaking in my boots. Wondering how I’d love two people. Half hoping it would just happen, and praying that I could be objective, sans favorites. Oh Lord, without favorites. Because they are both mine, my flesh and blood. Above all, they are God’s and I am, we are, just stewards.

favorites

As the days went by, I stopped saying I’d love them equally because I felt like it put a limit on the love, like I had to divide.

I decided to love them dearly, deeply and deliberately. To act it out and say it loud.

And what is love?

Love is being patient and kind even when the crank from sleep deprivation wants to take the day. Love is not being jealous, proud, rude or boastful. It does not demand it’s own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. Love is keeping my word. Singing one more song, building legos, not being easily angered. Love is not rejoicing about injustice but rejoicing whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love is showing up, doing the sacrificial thing, laying down my life. (Some parts of this are from 1 Cor 13:4-8)

Love is what Christ what would do. He lay down His life for me and paid the price for my sin. He loves me everyday and nothing can separate me from His love (Romans 8:38-39) I have seen my husband model love to me and the girls, love makes all of the difference.

Love is teaching them about God, sharing the gospel with them and leading by example. Love is discipling them.

luke7-47

Here I am, repurposing daily to love these girls,deeply and deliberately. To drink deeply from the well of love and fill my cup. I can’t give what I don’t have. My glorious redeemer set the perfect example for me. He gave His life for me. Now I give my love to the K girls.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Look Whooos Here :) Our Quiver And The Hand Of God

I have seen the hand of the Lord!!

I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, replaying the last one week in my mind and I can’t help but stand in awe of God. Every fibre within me wants to give praise to His name because I am convinced without a shadow of doubt that it was Him who carried me through. I am here because His victorious right hand was with me.

1 Chronicles 16:8-11 New Living Translation (NLT)

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness.
    Let the whole world know what he has done.
Sing to him; yes, sing his praises.
    Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.
10 Exult in his holy name;
    rejoice, you who worship the Lord.
11 Search for the Lord and for his strength;
    continually seek him.

More than a week ago, I was 39 weeks 3 days pregnant, and anxiety had flooded my whole being. I couldn’t keep still, I was cleaning, arranging and driving all around. When evening came, I begun to stall. We went out for dinner and I wasn’t in a hurry to get home. I even negotiated check in time with my doctor to be as late as possible. After settling Miss K to bed, my calloused soles became an emergency that I needed to attend to before I could be admitted. 🙂 Thank God for my patient mummy and hubby.

I finally got to hospital at 10pm on the dot. I barely slept the first night, I was too anxious, also hospitals are not hotels. How I longed for my bed and for a goodnight sleep sans the screeching trolleys in the corridors. At 4:30am, I was woken up to shower and get ready for theatre. Immediately I stirred, the Holy Spirit placed this verse in my heart.

isaiah-41-10

This verse ended up being my lifeline. I hang onto every word of it. Every. Single. Word. It was my hope. It was my promise. And I held on to it with my all.

I was fasting that morning, so I had more than enough time to twist my hair as I danced to my anthem of the day, err, week.

As I sung this song, my spirits lifted. I was convinced without a shadow of doubt that God was with me and that He had gone ahead of me. Even as I had desired a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) yet it didn’t come to pass, I knew He was Lord of it all and Lord in it all.

I’ve had 4 surgeries under general anesthesia but this time my desire was that God would allow me to be present as this little one was born. When the VBAC failed to happen, I knew that a Spinal Block was my next bet. I have heard some horror stories about life post spinal block and read the statistics of the side effects. But my heart still wanted what it wanted. To be present. To hear the little one cry. To give thanks in real time. To witness the miracle of birth, the way that He would allow.

As I was wheeled to theatre, my heart was lighter. I knew that God had gone ahead of me and was with me. I had spent a lot of time praying for the team I would find in theatre on the day, and He blew me away. The people who needed to calm my heart were there; they spoke the truth of the Lord to me, as I waited. The doctors and nurses were exactly who God needed to be there. Best of all, I knew that God was there. He was my midwife and my chief physician. As the anesthesia took it’s effect and I lay there, I knew without a shadow of doubt that God was with me, for me and in me.

god-is

The things that troubled my heart,the anxieties that mauled my peace were put at ease when I let Him be God. I had experienced sleepless moments the last couple of weeks wondering how it would all play out, but God! God did it. That morning before the clock struck 9, Miss K was promoted to big sister as Miss Ky made her debut into the world outside the womb. I was present. I heard her cry. I prayed as tears of joy streamed down my face. My heart was at peace.

I’ll probably blog about the last couple of weeks in detail in the coming days. The fact remains that I’ve seen His hands and feet in the people around me, those who’ve prayed, consistently reached out, taken time out to just be. The righteous hand of the Lord has upheld me. He has carried me.

Now we are 4 Ks. Our quiver is fuller.

We are blessed.

We are not alone.

We have been helped.

We are strengthened.

We are upheld.

All glory, honor and majesty be to our King.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

 

The World of Parenting

c3f5b5be779a365b16decd2d67acad66

Children are a personal responsibility from God.

There are many theories on parenting and it is good to be informed. There is a lot that we can learn from those who have gone ahead of us. As we learn the principles, we should pick what works for us in accordance to our Faith and belief system.

At the end of the day, I believe that as a parent, it is important to ask God to tell you who each child is and how you should raise them. Every child is an individual with a unique personality. What may work for one child, may not work for another. Also, the earlier you understand the child the sooner you can tweak your parenting style. In Judges 13, when an angel of the Lord appeared to Manoah’s wife, he told her that they would have a son. She was instructed not to drink wine or any other alcoholic drink or eat any forbidden food. For their son would be dedicated to God at birth as a Nazirite and he would rescue Israel from the Philistines. She rushed and told Manoah what the angel had said, and he prayed to the Lord to send the angel back to give them more instructions about the son who was to be born and the angel came back with more instructions.

The amazing thing is that we have the Holy Spirit and if we ask God, He will give us more instructions on how to raise our children. We do not have to walk in the dark.

The truth is, though we are all in this parenting game together, we will be answerable individually.

832028ae2ad5ea18ff8e0da4149a6a3e

Let God lead you as you lead your children. Don’t be afraid to go against the gradient for something you believe in.

I have seen prayer move mountains in my personal life and in the lives of others. It is indeed crucial that we pray for our children everyday.

9167bea92c282d92e37ebade5758092d

I found a nice prayer guide with pointers on how to pray for them daily.

0323526cfa81a67a0bdc6c8ece1b9d96

God bless you even as you point your children back to Him. He is our source of hope, peace, love, and joy. Only He can satisfy them and only He will never fail them. You are guaranteed that they are in safe hands when in His arms.

Happy parenting 🙂

Bibi2Be

Hormones, Mirrors and Marriage

HORMONES!!!

I didn’t know how powerful these little chemical signals were until about a year ago. Even before I put the puzzle together and realized I was carrying a little human, they showed me how much havoc they can cause.

You see, I always thought that pregnancy meant a yummy glow. What I got was more like a severe blow from hormone central. ACNE! I am familiar with acne, we became acquainted in my teenage years and as much as I was hoping that our relationship would be short, it continued for too many  years. I thought that pregnancy would be my ‘big break’, shock on me! My T-zone decided to expand its boundaries and bring a friend along, eczema :(.

hormones

When the acne finally subsided, somebody pumped my face with air. I am not exaggerating. My nose became puffy..err..larger than it is on a normal day. Thank the Lord it came back to normal :).

I was so used to sleeping on my tummy that I couldn’t imagine anything else. When my honeymoon period ended, I realized that I needed to adapt quickly. The growing tummy did not leave any room for negotiation, sleeping on my side was my only option.

The cravings; they deserve a whole blog post. They were as diverse as they get. What I loved one day could repulse me the next. It was quite ridiculous looking back. However trying to understand cravings logically is quite the wrong approach to understanding the power of hormones.

MIRRORS 

mirror-06

Initially, the acne and eczema would really bother me and I would spend a considerable amount of time examining them in front of a mirror. Looking back, I wish that was what it took to eradicate them completely. One of my mirrors in my house was not as ‘cruel’ as the rest, I assume it has something to do with the angle and lighting. It showed me what I wanted to see, i.e it was not that bad. It was my consolation base.

MARRIAGE

marriage-2 I dare say, if you don’t want to see the real you, don’t get married.

*Marriage is like a magnifying glass into your soul. You can change certain aspects of your spouse and marriage but if you don’t change within, then it is pointless. Sometimes the problem is not the mirror but the person looking into it.

Cleaning mirrors is a delicate process – at least if you don’t want to scratch them. Admonishing your spouse should be done gently. They may look tough on the outside but something you do or say could leave a lasting scratch or mark. Too much pressure could break them.

While you work on your self, pray for your spouse, not the other way around.

*Every pregnancy is unique and so is every marriage. Don’t believe everything that you hear, sometimes the glow comes a couple of months later but it does not negate the beauty of the journey.

*Just like my nose, the small issues may seem very big at some time, but after a while they go back to their normal shape and size :). Don’t sweat the small big stuff.

*Adaptation is key. Don’t be so rigid. Sometimes life leaves us no choice but to change. You learn on the job, even I who swore by sleeping on my tummy had to learn the balancing act on my left side and I survived. Nothing lasts forever, you may dislike the season at first but it too shall pass.

*Pass on the knowledge. Share the little pearls of wisdom that you pick along the way with someone else.

*Don’t assume that you know everything about yourself or your spouse. Each passing day, you are both changing. What you like now will not be what you like a couple of years down the line. Cravings taught me this important lesson. My shopping list would change bi-monthly, if hubby made the mistake of not clarifying what I currently liked, he would end up having to partake it himself.

For the precious ladies getting married this month, the countdown is ON. May God go ahead of you. May you enjoy your big day and the countless sleepovers with your bestfriends.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be

Worrier Versus Warrior

Happy New Year! By His grace we have seen a new year.

In 2014 I was a certified worrier. I worried about many things, big and small. Being a first time mom did not make things any easier. Before the baby I was worried about the pregnancy going awry, after the baby I was worried about everything (I am not exaggerating). Constantly on my mind were questions about whether I was doing things. I wondered why babies don’t come with a manual; it really would make things a lot easier. But we’ve got to thank God for the Holy Spirit and maternal instinct.

I walked with a cloud of impending doom hanging over my head. The irony of it all was that I was too worried to pray. I guess praying about it admitted I was actually worrying and I didn’t want to be a worrier.  I lived in denial.

worrying

Worry and anxiety walk hand in hand. It doesn’t edify neither does it change the situation at hand. If anything, it focuses so much on the negative and blinds one from seeing the positive at hand or in the horizon. Worrying is exhausting. No one ever finished worrying and said ‘Well, that was refreshing!’ (Hmm that should be on an aunty acid post :-).)

Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV)

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

In 2015 and beyond, I have resolved that if I have time to worry, I have time to pray. Every time I find myself spiraling down the road of worry, I pray. It is still taking some getting used to, but praying is indeed much more refreshing. As a result the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Worry is toiling vain,
Prayer is the only thing that can move mountains.
Worry only drains,
Prayer refreshes and sustains.

By His grace, I’m no longer a worrier. I’m now a prayer warrior. Prayer changes things.

Have a worry-free and prayer filled 2015.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be