From The Mouth of Babes, God Speaks!

As I write this, I am hiding from the girls. I love them to bits, but today I am taking a small break, to write and also miss THE hour. You know, the hour when they fight sleep and end up being a little feisty.

About two weeks ago, I had one of those days when I was weary. I had given all that I had and was ready for bed but the babies had extra energy. I whispered to heaven, “Lord, does heaven deliver chocolate cake and hugs?”. Then I heard nothing. I’m not too sure what I was expecting to hear though. Though a direct delivery would have been heavenly, see what I did there? 🙂

There was no time to sit and sulk. The evening routine had to be done. The girls don’t care about my internal atmosphere, they just want mummy, to read them their bible and pray with them before bed. Speaking of bible reading, Ksena’s current favorite story is Jesus on the cross. She asks for it each and every day.  Initially I struggled with how to answer all her questions. I was not exactly sure how to simplify death and resurrection or how much her two year old mind would understand. But, I decided to tell her the truth, biblical truth and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Mine is to sow seeds and pray that it lands on good soil, and the Lord, the gardener, will water the seeds and that they will grow. In this season, I have been increasingly grateful for the Holy Spirit. John 14 and 16 are dear to me.

ps 119-11

Look at me digress 🙂 That evening, after we’d read the story of Jesus on the cross, Ksena started singing. Mummy, “Hear Christ calling, ‘Come unto me, and I will give you rest.’ ” She sang it over and over again, and it got my attention. I heard loud and clear that the rest that my weary and somewhat empty soul needed was in God. I slept smiling that night. Exhausted but at peace.

I currently cannot get enough of this song. It is my prayer.

Acts 3 comes to mind and it reminds me that when the Spirit comes, you overflow. You cannot remain the same.

Eternity is but a heartbeat away ~ Cornelius Lindsey.

We were created to worship God. It won’t start when we die, it will be a continuation of what we have been doing here on earth. My prayer is that my life song, our life songs will be acceptable to Him.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

You Can’t See The Depression In Her Eye

There is a common notion that depressed people can just snap out of it. Put off the sad switch and be happy. Well meaning family and friends can say things that may cause the depressed person to feel even worse. Because, to some extent the factors are beyond their control.

Constant badgering can leave them feeling more hopeless. This promotes masking, because the depressed person does not feel as though they have gap to be real, and experience the motions of their emotions. Instead they have to try and adhere to societal expectations while dying on the inside.

depression-in-her-eyes

Depression is paralyzing.

It leaves one feeling stuck, dormant, and sometimes lost. This kills their self esteem and self worth. They are unable to do things they used to do easily with the same excitement and zeal.

Speaking of paralysis, Jesus healed a paralytic man back in Capernaum.

Matthew 9: 2-8 ( NLT)

Jesus climbed into a boat and went back across the lake to his own town. Some people brought to him a paralyzed man on a mat. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “Be encouraged, my child! Your sins are forgiven.”

But some of the teachers of religious law said to themselves, “That’s blasphemy! Does he think he’s God?”

Jesus knew what they were thinking, so he asked them, “Why do you have such evil thoughts in your hearts? Is it easier to say ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or ‘Stand up and walk’? So I will prove to you that the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sins.” Then Jesus turned to the paralyzed man and said, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!”

And the man jumped up and went home! Fear swept through the crowd as they saw this happen. And they praised God for sending a man with such great authority.

The lessons we can pick from this scripture:-

1) Depression is personal but communal.

When one person is depressed, the people around him/her are affected as well. In their attempt to help they may suggest, different modes of treatment. Every one has an opinion about everything, and, not every one will be ecstatic about how you receive your healing. Healing is personal.

2) Inner Healing precedes Physical Healing

Before Jesus asked the man to take up his mat and walk, He forgave His sins. There is much more to depression than meets the eye. He saw the man’s heart, what people couldn’t see when they looked at him, and dealt with it first, because the heart is the well-spring of life. The root of the problem dwells in the heart.

That dark hole that depression leads you down usually has pessimistic voices as entertainment. If you hear something long enough you start to believe it.

depression

When God heals your heart, you are encouraged.

Proverbs 14:10 (NIV)

Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy

There are hurts and thoughts that flood the mind that make the physical paralysis look like a drop in the ocean.

There is a trade-in-option available for those who feel weary and burdened.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

Then Jesus said, ” Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”

This verse has gotten me through some pretty dark moments.

Acts 17:28 (NIV)

For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

May you begin to find the freedom to live, do the things that you love and be ALL that you were created to be in Him.
Blessings,

Bibi2Be

P.S if you’d like to talk some more about depression, send me an email on ess@bibi2be.com

Grief and Rest

Grief is strange. Sometimes you think that you have dealt with it and then it comes back and asks you ‘Who were you kidding?’. Then it feels as though you are back at scratch, hmm, maybe not, but it takes you way back; perhaps further than you would go voluntarily.

The best quote that I have read on grieving is:-

grief-changes-shape-but-it-never-ends-88212

A couple of days ago we celebrated 4 years since my dad died. Leading up to the day I thought it would be just a quick ‘ ahh, wow, it’s been 4 years, already?? God is so faithful! ‘ as we share different memories et al and we would close the chapter till next year. Little did I know; on the actual day, my heart would be in turmoil.

Proverbs 14:10 (NLT)

Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.

Grief is one of those things that though you are walking together with someone they cannot fully identify with you. It’s personal, the ‘bitterness’ may vary from time to time and take longer than the ‘recommended’ healing time; so it may be hard for someone to keep up. It has various triggers, some are obvious and others not so obvious.

Thankfully, God is always up to speed, minute by minute, millisecond by millisecond. His love for you is not affected by the degree of the ‘bitterness’ in your heart.

depths f heart

If anything, He wants you to come when your heart is heavy. He desires to carry that burden instead and give you a light one.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

The greatest burdens are those that do not make it to the answer the question “How are you doing?”.

Yesterday, I carried Miss K as she was asleep and realized she feels so much lighter to carry when she is asleep. When she is awake, if she is not trying to eat my earrings or to pull my hair or top, she is reaching out for different things; the bottom line is when she is extra busy she is extra heavy.

That is the same way the heart is, when you are extra busy worrying about different things it is heavier. It is lightest when it is at rest.

May you heed the call for the mighty exchange to drop your heavy burden and pick His light one. May your heart find rest from the all battles that you fight within, and, may you find joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be

Super Mama

motherhood-quotes

Motherhood is a calling. It is full time, all the time, all day, er’day. It never ends. Even when the little ones grow up and move out, they still remain your little ones in bigger bodies, ask your mama. My respect for my mummy has increased tremendously since I had a baby – she truly is super mama.

Sometimes being super mama, maintaining the life and work balance, can get overwhelming; especially when sleep deprivation is playing a role. We are currently in between a growth spurt and sleep regression. Exhausted does not begin to describe how I feel (teehee I thought today was Thursday). It’s been a long week.

Someone mentioned that the work really begins once you start weaning, but meal planning saves the day. A fews day ago, a friend asked me what time I have breakfast and I said about 10am. She asked if my mornings were ‘that busy’ and I chuckled to myself. They feel like rush hour in Nairobi minus the Kidero drums 🙂 (which have now been removed) ; the things to do are lined up, bumper to bumper, as we race against time.

Miss K keeps me busy when she is awake, sometimes I can’t wait for her to sleep, then when she does I miss her; human beings are special :). I miss having unlimited alone time, though I have made peace within myself that it will never be the same. There will be portions of alone time but I will not be able to be a ‘free little bird’ ,though ,this doesn’t rule out spontaneity . I often wonder what I used to do before Miss K came.

One day as I was asking God who helps the helper (Super Mama), I was led to this scripture:-

Psalm 121 (NIV)

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

God helps the helper!

When I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself that it is HE who helps me; it is HE who gives me the strength and grace for today and tomorrow; it is HE who preserves me and renews me. It is HE who satisfies me with His unfailing love and watches over my coming and going.

If you are feeling a little overwhelmed, I pray that God will refresh you, give you energy that comes from above and satisfy you with His unfailing love.

Something that I am trying to incorporate to my daily schedule is, setting aside 30 minutes every day for myself and doing something that makes me happy. This will help me to slow down, recharge and be refreshed and rejuvenated. It may sound like a short time but it can do wonders. Some activities that I am considering are:- reading a book, knitting, crafting, baking, taking a walk, retail therapy, working out, home body scrubs, and mani-pedis. I will feedback on how that goes in a few days.

If you find yourself always serving others and barely getting time to take care of yourself, it is time to re-do your schedule and feature yourself on the priority list. Better still, if you are in Nairobi and you would like a one stop break:- adult conversation (Lord knows how precious this is), networking with mums (who won’t mind if you go on and on about your litu one), a massage, manicure and photo shoot, Kenyan Mums have got you covered.

mama's break

Remember

mother final

Do your best and leave the rest to God. Nothing is impossible for Him.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be