Ballerina

‘Our dreams are valid’ is what I think to myself everytime I see Miss K practicing her ballet that has been heavily influenced by a rodent, Angelina Ballerina.

“Mum look I am balancing” she squeals and then proceeds to twirl along. Ky joins her in a swirling motion, like ice cream being dispensed onto a cone, with a smile on her face and a dizzy spell in tow.

“Mum, I want you to teach me ballet!” Ksena told me, I almost spilled my tea, honored that she thinks that ballet is one of the things that I am good at and that I am a graceful ballerina.

I think that they’ve got a hang of balancing better than I have. Sometimes I feel flustered as I balance being a mum and writer (now published author), while incubating and working on other dreams. Though I am learning that some structure and accepting help goes a long way. And the grace and poise will come with the training and territory.

The story would not be complete without sacrifice and patience, the fine print that should be in font size 72 and caps because they are the core of the journey.

Sacrifice

I write when the household is asleep, most times yawning, not because the content is boring but my bed beckons and there is something about seeing people sleeping that makes me want to sleep too.

Patience

I think I kept failing this test. It feels like I have been going around the mountain for 40 years and growing weary. I had my own grand timelines for my book(s), but they did not work out. My prayers became microwave editions, with timelines on them. Frustration peaked when after ‘2 minutes’ the meal was not ready.

Bloom

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You know the joy that you feel when you cook up a storm and it looks good and tastes good? I have the same kinda joy in my heart. My first published book Bloom is FINALLY out. I wrote it one year ago and it has been such a journey, but it is out and I am a very different person and writer from the lady who wrote it.

When I got my final sample my girlies were so excited, Ky kept squealing, “Mama!” when she saw my picture, and she ran to show anyone who cared to see. Seeing my picture and name on a book is still growing on me, but my obedience coupled with God’s goodness, faithfulness, and counsel, that I could get used to seeing.

Here I am, a dancing ballerina with joy in my heart, looking forward to learning some more beautiful steps in the ballet class of life, and dancing to please my King.

If you would like to order Bloom, please send me an email via yellowendflower@gmail.com and I will let you know how to get it.

 

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The Suzuki Swift Through A Different Lens

I love how God makes ordinary things extraordinary. You can look at something mundane through your ordinary eyes but when He allows you to catch a glimpse through His lens, you get a new perspective. It is like you are seeing it for the very first time.

Two days ago, I was looking at a Suzuki Swift, nothing out of the ordinary, I look at one everyday.

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Then the Lord begun to ask me if I am swift to obey Him. Yup, we moved from a car name to matters of the heart; just like that.

A couple of months ago, I used to make excuses before obeying. I had a list of cons to discourage me from writing a list of pros.  I used to manage to discourage myself from walking in obedience. Common sense would have the final say; selfish ambition or should I say, self preservation would be at work.

Nowadays, I obey as I go. Most times it is uncomfortable and my flesh screams ‘DON’T DO IT! THINK ABOUT ME!!’ but I do it anyway. Sometimes it hurts; it means sacrificial giving, but I still do it. Like Abraham, I make the uneasy trip up the mountain to make my sacrifice. The voices in my head are loudest at this time, but I silence them with the promises of God. I repeat ‘He will never leave me, He will provide for all of my needs’ until the voices in my head and every fibre within me, starts to praise the name of the Lord. We move from fear to faith.

I have come to learn that my flesh is so limited. I cannot use my limited mind to try to decipher a divine command. I will never fully understand the Lord and His ways.

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Are you swift to obey God?

Do you make excuses to try and negotiate your way out or do you keep walking as you raise your concerns?

May you believe God and obey; may your faith be credited to you as righteousness. Romans 4:3

Finally, the new Suzuki Swift Sport is quite the cutie BUT it ain’t got nothing on Swift obedience (:

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Taking Stock: No More Excuses

Whoa, where did the year fly to? July is almost here, that means Christmas is right around the corner.

Since we are practically halfway through 2015, it is time to take stock of the half that has been. See what has worked, review what hasn’t, celebrate the victories and learn from the mistakes.

I started taking stock yesterday and as I reflected, God led me to read these verses (emphasis on verse 30):

1 Corinthians 7: 29-30 (NLT-Gift &Award Edition)

Now let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short, so husbands should not let marriage be their major concern. Happiness or sadness or wealth should not keep anyone from doing God’s work.

BOOOM!!!!

I was just speechless.

Earlier in the year God asked me to do several things, some I begun but stopped midway, and blamed sleep regression, depression and whatever other ‘valid’ reason that presented itself at the time. I never quite got back to doing them.

God reminded me that when He asked me to do those things He was not ignorant of my emotions or circumstances. He asked knowing FULLY well what was going on within and around me.

I was so humbled. So here I am, thankful for second chances to be obedient. Thankful for the Holyspirit who speaks loudly even when I put Him on mute. I have written a list of the things that God asked me to do that I made excuses about, and I am going to get on with them.

1st Samuel 15:22 (NLT)

But Samuel replied,

“What is more pleasing to the Lord:
    your burnt offerings and sacrifices
    or your obedience to his voice?
Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice,
    and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.

Before I accuse God of not speaking in a current situation, let me respond to the instructions He spoke to me in a previous conversation. After all, what good is it to hear but not act?

The truth is we were created to worship Him. He desires our obedience rather than our sacrifices.

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God bless you even as you take stock of the half that has been and allow Him to shed His light on your path.

Bibi2Be