Sisterhood From A Two Year Old’s Perspective

When I was growing up, I always wanted a sister. I had our lives all planned out. How we’d have little tea parties, raid each others wardrobes, enjoy some hand-me-downs and crack the boy code together.

Well, truth be told, things didn’t turn out as I expected. When mama came from the hospital, she had a bouncing little boy ( I wonder why newborns are referred to as bouncing anyway, seeing as they lay pretty still). Back to my story, a precious little boy made his debut into our home. I was sad that I had officially been dethroned as the only child ( they didn’t prepare me enough). I now had to share everything including my parents attention. But I survived; though I still longed, ever so deeply for a sister.

I must say though, God did give me sisters from other mothers. Along the way, seasons have changed and time and distance have had their way. But, there is a bond I’ve made with a few, that has stood the test of time, proximity and shifting seasons.

Watching Ksena and Kyria together has struck chords in my heart. I’m learning so many lessons about sisterhood. The simple truths.

This is what sisterhood is according to a two year old:

Sisterhood is checking up on each other

Every morning, when Ksena wakes up, she comes into my room and says “Good morning mama, where is my sister? How was her night?”

During the day, she constantly asks, “Mum, what is Kyria/sister doing? How is she feeling?”

Sisterhood is protecting each other

When someone that Ksena doesn’t know picks up her sister, she stops what she is doing and asks us ( her parents) what is happening, to know if her sister is safe. She always points out little things that she thinks will hurt Kyria.

Sisterhood is helping each other

This morning, Ky refluxed as she was on her bouncy chair. Immediately Ksena said, “Mama, Kyria spat up. Let me help wipe her.” Then she took a muslin cloth and wiped the spit up. And Ky gave her a big toothless smile.

Sisterhood is standing in the gap

When Kyria starts crying, Ksena is the first person to jump off her seat and attend to her. If she sees I’m taking too long, she comes and says, “Mum! Kyria needs your help. Mum, come help Kyria!”

Sisterhood is loving each other

“Oh Kyria, you are my sister. You are my friend. I love you. Mama, I love Kyria very much.”  These words leave Ksena’s mouth daily. She tells her she loves her and showers her with kisses, hugs and prezzies that she’s made.

Sisterhood is enjoying each other’s company

Ksena likes to be in the same space with Kyria. She is constantly asking to lie next to her or seat next to her or carry her. The look on Ky’s face when Ksena is around is heart warming. She follows her around with her eyes and is all smiles.

Sisterhood is teaching each other

Ksena is currently teaching Kyria to make music (read: sing, dance and play an instrument). She shows her how to do it then asks her to have a turn. Ky smiles in return and bounces to the music in her chair.

Sisterhood is sharing

Haha this is a tricky one. It means sharing parents and toys. Some days there is good sharing of toys. All in all, it’s a work in progress.

Sisterhood is holding each others hands

Ksena likes to hold Kyria’s hands. I constantly discourage this, because Kyria eats her hands. So it’s a song, “Ksena, please don’t touch Kyria’s hands!” then she responds, “but I love her!! Mama, I love my sister very much!” Kyria also reaches out to touch Ksena. Indeed, sisterhood is holding each others’ hands.

Watching this relationship blossom is an answer to prayer and a subtle #sisterhoodgoal.

I’ve been longing to have a milkshake and adult conversation with a sister, but as I wait for that day, I’m going to enjoy watching these girls love on each other.

This weekend, reach out to your sister, let her know you love her. If you can, hang out with her, listen to her and BE with her. If your relationship with her is in a hard place, pray about it, then pick up the phone and extend an olive branch.

Here’s to sisterhood; a relationship made in heaven.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

On Second Thought, Don’t Put Me Down

I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and chuckle. It’s evident how much I’ve changed the last two years, physically I look more or less the same. Emotionally and mentally, I am a different person.  How calm I am is a testimony if God’s grace. I see the difference between Ess as a first time mum and Ess as a second time mum.

As my mama puts it, experience is the best teacher. My experience of being a mum has come with perspective. And perspective makes all the difference. It informs my decision on how to spend my energy, which moments to savor and what to be anxious about (read: commit to the Lord in prayer as I await His peace).

I know how fast the days pass by. I know that one day I will sleep, one day baby will sleep through the night. Do I hear a hallelujah? You my dear friends may need to remind me this a few months from now. This too shall come to pass.

Speaking of hallelujah, my household has this song on repeat. It calms Miss K and Miss Ky down. Hallelujah!

Perspective has helped me be more present in the now. I’ve made a deliberate decision to enjoy the season.

When I had Miss K I started ‘Lessons from my daughter’ . It looks like it’s time to add ‘s’ to daughter, because Miss Ky is making her debut today.

When she was born, she was a trusting little human being. You could hold her with one hand and she wouldn’t know the difference. About a week ago, it all changed. All of a sudden, she was aware of the fact that she was being put down and to top it up, she was weary of being put down. Rather the process. She was grasping for something to hold.

It is important to note that the hands holding her hadn’t changed. The surface she was being placed on remained constant, but she’d changed. She was more aware, and the ‘hold on for dear life’ reflex was activated.

This lesson floored me. God used Ky to show me that fear comes from within. When I feel afraid and weary of being put down, and the times I even feel let down; I need to remember that His hand has not changed. His love and plans for me remain constant.

His hand, love and heart never change. I am still safe in His hands. He knit me in my mamas womb. He has been upholding me for much longer than I can remember. He can be trusted. He is faithful.

Are you feeling afraid? Weary of being placed down or let down? Remember that God remains the same. His hand and His heart are still for you. He loves you with an everlasting love.

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Isaiah 41:10 has a new meaning for me. I was upheld and He still upholds me.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Pep Talk Time: Accept The Season And Enjoy The Season

In a few months, it will be 4 years since we relocated to Mombasa. A long-short time. I’ve gotten to love it and I am almost used to the heat; though don’t ask me about the heat in January, February or March. I’ll be too parched to talk about it. The sun and humidity know how to tango during these months, and they put on quite a show that leaves you drenched in sweat. Don’t judge the momentum of the people who live at the Coast too harshly. The heat has a way of reducing your speed and bringing along lethargy.

You’d think that after all this time, I’d be fully settled and used to culture. Time after time, I find myself comparing it to Nairobi, because it is what I am used to. In some aspects, I have a lens that inhibits me from fully enjoying the season as it is. To be honest, I miss the variety that Nairobi offers. The restaurants, the malls, the hospitals and schools.  I miss my friends and family, though I’m slowly navigating my way around this; and thanking God for social media and my annual trips.

With the big picture in mind, I wouldn’t go back, or at least not just yet. I know that for this season in life, I am where I need to be. And that’s exactly it. Life is about seasons. It is important to recognize the season, and live in it.

I’ve been faced with decisions of late and I’ve missed having more options. Though, my security or wisdom do not come from my careful considerations of the options. After all, a man’s heart plans his way, but it is the Lord who directs His steps (Proverbs 16:9).

Another verse that I fully relate with in this time is:

lords-purpose

The King James Version says that the counsel of the LORD shall stand.

There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.

In the midst of options and situations where the options are fewer, it is the Lord’s counsel that matters. I feel I need to say that again. It is the Lord’s counsel that matters.

So, I am placing my ‘Nairobi lens’ aside and any other lens that has hindered me from enjoying the season. I am taking on the Lord’s counsel and enjoying the season. No more ‘one foot in, one foot out’. I’m all in, and I am going to enjoy the season as the Lord has ordered my steps and continues to order my steps. For the glory of His name.

Has your ‘ideal’ lens been keeping you from enjoying your current season in life? Do you miss having options to consider and feel as though you are in complete control of your life? Spend time with the Lord and listen out for His counsel that it may stand.

Blessings,

Bibi2be

 

Life Lessons From A Lactating Mother

The most profound life lessons come from the simplest of things. If you let the Holy Spirit whisper to you, He gives you fresh insight on ordinary things.

A couple of days ago, I hang out with a friend of mine who was nursing her little baby. It was interesting to watch, as it seems like it was a lifetime ago when Miss K was nursing so frequently. As I reflected on my day, the Holy Spirit whispered these nuggets of wisdom to me.

*Peace is Paramount 

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The fastest way to sabotage your milk supply is to start stressing about things. Stress and milk production do not go hand in hand.

In the same way, the fastest way to sabotage yourself is to give in to stress. Once you let worry and anxiety take centre stage, you begin to feel out of balance. You function best in a state of peace. Peace is your inheritance.

John 14:27 NLT

I am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

*Consistency is key

Consistency-in-business

To keep your supply up, you need the demand and nutrition need to be consistent. When you lack consistency, issues come up, such as too little supply of milk or  mastitis if the boob is not emptied regularly.

In the same way, if you don’t consistently spend time with God you will not be able to bear fruit that lasts, John 15. You must consistently remain connected to the vine to be able to bear this fruit.

Do your quiet time regularly. Do not rely on yesterday’s mercies for today. His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.

*There will be challenges

challenges

Under supply and over supply are both challenges in their own rights. Over supply can seem like a blessing, but, it can be very stressful when your baby chokes all the time or rarely gets the hind milk.

The thing about life is that, no one is immune to challenges, how we face them and react is what makes the difference. These challenges can work for us or against us.

*It is just for a season

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Know when to call it quits. Like many things in life, lactation must come to an end. As much as I enjoy breastfeeding, I can’t do it till Miss K is a teenager. I need to know when the season is coming to an end and prepare her and myself accordingly.

As you go through this season in life, purpose to learn from it and enjoy it. To the lactating mothers, happy breastfeeding (:

Blessings,

Bibi2be

God Is Enough!

I watched a really sentimental movie this past weekend, ‘Catching Faith’. I recommend it for everyone. There are many lessons to be learned. It touches on family struggles, raising teenagers, grief, insecurity, integrity, gossip, malice, societal expectations, vulnerability, courage and strength.

catching faith

Here is a synopsis of the movie:

John and Alexa Taylor appear to have the perfect life – they’re the envy of all the parents in town. Their son Beau is the high school football star and their daughter Ravyn is a straight-A student. But when Beau is caught drinking alcohol, his place on the team and his bright future are on the line. With the football season at stake and the judgmental community turning their backs on them, every member of the Taylor family is at a crossroads. Now, they must find the strength from one another, and the spiritual courage from within, to prove that faith and family is the only score that really matters

You can read more: here

The one thing that stood out for me and I will probably remember for a long time is, at the end of the movie, the mother gave her daughter a locket with the words ‘GOD IS ENOUGH’ inside.

This mum had struggled with identity crisis, she had tried to keep up a facade and failed. She thought that the fickle things of life could satisfy her but they didn’t. Her conclusion of the matter was:

God is enough

This is such a beautiful summary of life. This is what I hope to keep teaching Miss K through my life and my words, God is enough! Circumstances may change overnight but God, He remains the same. And, in Him, we are satisfied.

God is enough in all seasons.

Each season of life has it’s own challenges. Yes, some seasons are more difficult than others, but we should strive to enjoy the journey. We have all that we need for living a godly life.

2 Peter 1:3 NLT

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.

I don’t know what you are going through, what life has thrown at you, but my prayer is that you will realize that God is enough for you. May He be the wind beneath your wings that strengthens you to reach higher heights. May His peace guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

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GOD IS ENOUGH!!

Blessings,

Bibi2be

Seasons

season

Life is constantly changing. As days go by, not only do things change but people too.

Change can be unnerving, confusing and scary to say the least. Sometimes you are super prepared for it, other times, it comes and knocks you off your feet. Once in a while it can take your breath away. In some rare occasions, it can knock the wind out of you and leave you feeling hopeless.

One of the mistakes that I have made several times over the last couple of years is dwelling on the confusion after the change of season. There are times that I have wished that I could just linger on in the season that just ended because it had been uncomfortably comfortable. Yes, I was uncomfortable, I desired something new; I was also comfortable in the predictability of the season.

I have learned that it’s not bad to dream and yearn for what has passed temporarily, what is bad is, focusing all your energy thinking about where you could be. When the seasons of life change the calling does too. Sooner rather than later it is important to figure out what the calling for the new season is.

These are my guidelines for getting the best out of any season:

*Identify the Season

Mourn the one that has passed if need be. Embrace the one that you are in and set out to learn the lessons that it holds.

*Heed the Call

God speaks, if we are willing to listen, we will hear Him . His purpose for us as individuals is very specific. It is important to understand what He desires of us and then work from there.

The last couple of weeks, I have had a burden for stay-at-home mums, who wonder if they are doing enough. Here is a reminder that you are:-

wife

Continue heeding the call that you received. Remember there is no better place you can be than right where God needs you to be. You may not receive a monetary reward, but allow yourself to see your worth as much more than money can buy. When the new season comes, give it your all, but don’t sit by the door anticipating the next season just yet. Enjoy the one you are in and let the Lord minister to you and renew your spirit.

Sometimes I dwell on the past and eagerly anticipate the future. However I am slowly learning that I should enjoy the boundary lines that God has place me in for a time such as this.

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Blessings,

Bibi2Be