Every night I remind myself that we are one day closer to our little one sleeping through the night. After a month away from home, I feel as though we are back at scratch regarding sleep training, and it is okay. My experience with Ksena toughened me up a little, though, don’t ask me how tough I feel after a few consecutive days of waking up every couple of hours. I feel fatigued, irritable and groggy.
When Ky stirs in her sleep she calls out for one of us to go for her. Most times its Mummy because I am the source of milk :), but if Daddy gave her a bottle last, then she will call out for him. Night weaning is at the top of my to-do-list, I am looking forward to sleeping like a school-going toddler. All those who talk about sleeping like a baby must mean a new-born, I love how they can sleep through anything.
One day you wake up and your children are all grown. You can’t exactly say they grew on a particular date at an exact time, but every day that passes they become a little less of who they’ve been and more of an older version of themselves. I find myself staring at the girls often, taking in all the subtle yet distinct changes that emerge each day.
One of my reflections a few days ago was, “Who am I calling out to?” We tend to call out to the person who helps us in our time of need. Our brains archive their contact information and retrieve it in crisis. I know that I call out to God – most times- the question is, is there anyone or anything else that I have pegged my hope upon? Is there anywhere else that I look for my help to come from? I love how in the simple and mundane things of life, you can still see and hear God speaking.
I am slowing down and giving more cuddles because I know that they are just for a short time. Learning to say ‘Yes!’ to play more often. This TED Talk was such a refreshing reminder, it is a little repetitive but so true. When I allow myself to experience life as a child, I see and hear new things; while I am there, I trust God as a child does, there is something refreshing and renewing about child-like faith.