Running on E

WhoMy morning began with a choir of tears.

I knew we were off to a difficult start. Before I had children, I used to be a morning person. Now, I  wake up before my alarm bings because I am an often-tired person, who has a long list of things to do. To be honest, I doubt I was really a morning person, I think that the Endometriosis induced fatigue was less in the morning.

Motherhood is a lifetime job. It is multi-faceted so the brief keeps changing. Perhaps, change is one of the constants. Some tricks grow old, you grow old, and your children. well, they grow older too.

It is a cocktail of laughs from the depth of your belly, and tears from the bottom of your heart. Some days are good, some days are heart-wrenching.  From time to time you countdown to bedtime, not because you hate your children, but because they have been EXTRA the whole day and you want to catch a break. On the unfortunate days, your emotions, and internal conflicts get in the way, and you are harsher than you should have been. You are not as patient as you say Jesus wants us to be. Some days you fail, and as you watch your little one’s tummy rise and fall as they sleep, you beat yourself up. You wallow in regret and helplessness.

I have many days that I wake up feeling as if I’m running on a deficiency. As though my fuel is at E. Many days where I cry to Jesus for forgiveness, and almost beg for strength because I feel spent. Days where nothing feels like it is enough.

A few days ago, in the most unlikely place, and almost in passing, the Lord reminded me that unless I look to Him and rely on Him I will feel disadvantaged. I will feel that I am not enough. I will fall short even before I stand tall.

The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and your strength will equal your days. Deuteronomy 33:25

My strength shall equal my days. God, who pre-destined me, who knows all of the days that I have lived and those to come, has already apportioned me the adequate strength to face each day.

After this revelation, I started saying this prayer in the morning:

Dear Lord, I do not know what the day holds, but I know it is You who holds it. I know that you have given me the adequate strength to face this day, therefore I will go forth with boldness and peace.

For this mama, who is sometimes weary, my heart is encouraged when I know that my strength will equal my days.

 

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Be Still & Know that He Is God – Day 16

still

“People don’t always get what they deserve in this world.”
Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

Sometimes life throws unfair situations in your face.  Some people are just bullies who use their positions of power, money and bravado to puff up their egos as they boss people around. They are not much different from bullies on the playground, who push you around until you go and tell your daddy. When your daddy shows up, they shrink in size in front of your eyes and apologize.

When I feel like I’m being treated unfairly, I am usually tempted to fight for my rights. If I don’t have enough energy to fight, flight is the next best option. I run away into a corner and sulk, albeit, briefly.

A couple of days ago, I had an encounter with a bully, one whom i’ve dealt with before. As I’ve been wondering how to react, God has been reminding me to be still and know that He is God. Being still and letting Him fight my battles is a sign of wisdom and strength. Wisdom to know which battles not to fight as His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

I am learning to run to God like the little child on the playground and let Him fight my battles and show Himself strong.

In the stillness I hear Him; in the stillness I see Him; in the stillness He transforms me.
psalm-20-4-5

What situations do you need to be still and let God fight for you?

May your faith and peace come from the fact that He is God. He is able to fight on your behalf and WIN.

The prayer of the day:

Dear God,

Thank you for the reminder that though I am in war, the battle is not mine, the battle is Yours. Today I choose to stand still and know that You are God. I put my trust in You and declare that Your plans for me are the best. Though sometimes I feel defeated, deflated and discouraged by this situation, I choose to keep my eyes on You and watch You fight for me.

Through You, victory is mine.

In Jesus name I pray and believe,

Amen

The song of the day:

There is peace, joy and victory in the stillness.

Blessings,

BIBI2BE

P.S if you would like me to stand with you in prayer, send me an email on ess@bibi2be@gmail.com

The Marriage Challenge

I remember planning my wedding like it was yesterday. I used to sit and dream about what I wanted on the day. Choosing the color scheme was my favorite part; because I couldn’t decide on two or three so I chose all six of them :).

Wedding planning reveals to you just how precise you can be. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder traits may rear their heads. Even those who never cared much about certain things may find themselves being quite passionate about the small details.

Then comes the wedding day, after all the planning, not much is within your control. You can’t be saying your vows and making sure the food is ready at the same time, well unless you are a super hero of sorts. On the day, you have to let go and let God (well, and the people running the show behind the scenes).

At the end of the day, you can evaluate the event, but even if the caterer failed on his part there is not much you can do. Yes, you can complain, demand for a refund and flood social media platforms with your experience, but at the end of the day if the food sucked, it sucked.

Fast forward to marriage, days turn into weeks, weeks into months and months into years. The best part is that marriage is a journey. Calculate how much time you spent planning for the wedding: reading marriage blogs, visiting wedding vendors, committee meetings, site visits etc. It amounts to quite a bit, unless of course you rocked up at the AG’s and had a short and simple ceremony.

Now think about how much time you spend setting goals for your marriage and planning action points?

A couple of days ago, my hubby and I started taking about where we want to see our marriage at the end of 2015. The conversation ended in us coming up with a small challenge that we shared with some of our married friends to do and their feedback was very good.

Challenge:

Discuss and write down two aspects of your marriage that you would like to see grow in 2015. Break them down in to quarterly action points.

Examples of aspects are: communication, financial health, fitness and health, friendship, time management, giving, travelling, learning new skills.

An example is:-

Goal:- To be a fit and healthy couple; to lose/gain x Kgs by the end of the year.

1st Quarter

Go for a full body checkup; exercise together three times a week; eliminate sugar/white carbs from diet

2nd Quarter

Eat out less often; try out new healthy recipes at home

3rd Quarter

Climb Ngong hills; climb Mount Longonot; climb Mount Kenya

4th Quarter

Run 10kms weekly ; run a marathon together.

Growth is intentional. The end result may seem impossible in January but the little baby steps will help you achieve it.

Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

I can do all things through him who gives me strength.

With God all things are possible. Take it a day at a time and review the action points every quarter.

Enjoy your marriage;  may 2015 not just be like any other year, may it be bigger and better. May December find you and yours at a better place by His grace.

Blessings,

Bibi2Be