As a child, I was fascinated by Ostriches. I thought they were intriguingly beautiful. There was something about the way they spread their wings that enthralled me.
I hadn’t thought about an Ostrich for a long time, well, that was up until a couple of weeks ago when I read Job 39.
Job 39:13-18New Living Translation (NLT)
13 “The ostrich flaps her wings grandly,
but they are no match for the feathers of the stork.
14 She lays her eggs on top of the earth,
letting them be warmed in the dust.
15 She doesn’t worry that a foot might crush them
or a wild animal might destroy them.
16 She is harsh toward her young,
as if they were not her own.
She doesn’t care if they die.
17 For God has deprived her of wisdom.
He has given her no understanding.
18 But whenever she jumps up to run,
she passes the swiftest horse with its rider.
As I read this scripture, my heart was convicted. Verse 16 and 17 tugged at my heart strings and caused me to ask the Lord to search my heart. To reveal to me the ways that I have been harsh, insensitive, deprived of wisdom and lacking understanding.
This passage refused to leave my mind. It replayed in my heart for days on end. Then I begun to see how Ostrich like I have been in my motherhood journey and my heart, oh, how it broke. It became crystal clear (again) that I cannot rely on my own wisdom (or lack thereof).
My prayer is that in my newborn hazing state I will not be impatient and harsh towards the K girls. That I will be sensitive to the status of their hearts and dreams. That I will be a woman and an understanding mother. Oh, how I pray for wisdom to raise these girls. That I will be loving towards them, that I will always speak lovingly and that my heart will be keen to notice if they are dying in any part of their lives. That my tongue will speak life and not death. That I will encourage them to pursue their dreams and create an environment where they can encounter the Lord.
Now when I think about an Ostrich, I remember that though she is swift and grande, she lacks understanding and has been deprived of wisdom.
Please do not deprive us of wisdom. We ask that you will send your angel to give us instructions on how to raise these children like you did to Manoah and his wife in Judges 13.
In Jesus name we pray,